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What Do You Do When You Love Two People? - suggest me your relationship advice

 
 Discussion by Cody with 108 Replies.
 Last Update: April 26, 2012, 8:43 pm ( View Rated (4) ) (View Latest)
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What do yuo do when your stuck between two people?.. two people you love all to much and know it would brake your heart to see them cry and it would brake their heart to see you with any one but them.. im lost and help less at this moment.. Pleas help me...










   Mon May 8, 2006    Reply         

Leave both of them. If you are tough enough, that may be the thing to do.

   Tue May 9, 2006    Reply         

na don't leave both of them that might hurt you much and could be difficult for you to recover!!

But also i'm unable to advice you at the moment.. Anyways all the best with all those relations hope it goes fine

   Tue May 9, 2006    Reply         


Your post points mainly to saying that you 'love' two people which causes concerns to the above two posts. Do both these people 'love' you?, If so, how much do each of them 'love' you?

You may be suprised that if you think hard about who 'loves' you the most, you'll find that one doesn't really 'love' but maybe just a friend with a crush. Is what you feeling 'love'?, How can you be sure it's 'love'?

Are you willing to hurt someone, for the better good?, the one you may reject could 2 minutes later find the 'love' of thier dreams around the next corner.

Also, are you willing to sacrifice your happiness for thiers, or thier happiness for yours? Not doubt you have a tought decision ahead, but maybe if you let it sit around for alittle longer, see if one can maybe move on with someone else, leaving you with one choice.

Good Luck, and please share your experiences for others to learn from when things happen. Experience is the best Advice!

   Tue May 9, 2006    Reply         

This is a matter of choosing who you lover more. You cannot say that you love them both and have the same level of affection for them. There relationships that goes better if you two are just friends or best friends, and most of the time is is better to have a best friend than a girlfriend or a boyfriends. And besides, i guess you are sure if both the two persons would love you that same as you love them. Choose the one who loves you just like you love her or him.

   Tue May 9, 2006    Reply         

Well the first thing you need to do is ask them if they would mind having a threesome if they say yes cool if not you should leave them both and find two that will LOL

<_<

Just kidding i think you neeed to make a choice as if you don't you might end u plosing both of them and then you will really feel stupid then someone might get hurt but it is one those things you can't really help

   Tue May 9, 2006    Reply         


my roommate is also warried about the thing similar to you.he love two girls one is rich but less beautiful than another,the other came from a poor workers family.both of them are in college,but one will be away for her graduation.so now my friend must make a choice for them.because the rich girl is far away from him who lives in different city,he feel that he love her less than the beautiful one.however,as fact,the rich girl alway concern him by sending him daily things and study info...which is very useful and helpful for him.but the beautiful one alway has a high expense,the money of which coming from my friend,just for her nice face(i dislike this kind of girl <_<).well,he make deep thinking and decide to love his real love who love him really.

i just gave an example above,so how you want to do is laying in which girl really love you...
good luck.

   Tue May 9, 2006    Reply         

Love is a single thing shared between two mutual people. Love is when 2 find love in the other. What you are talking about is lust, not love. True love is between you and someone else. not someones.

   Tue May 9, 2006    Reply         

well i think after reading what everyone had to say, i am going to just let it be and not do anything... i'm not abou to do something i will regreat so... i'll just start looking all over again.........

   Wed May 10, 2006    Reply         

pick one lol

   Tue May 16, 2006    Reply         

Just find the one that your most comfortable with and who you think "loves" you as much as you "love" her/him.

   Wed May 17, 2006    Reply         

I strongly agree with Moolkye.

Don’t confuse ‘love’ with something else. Put aside all things and be honest with yourself. Running away from a problem is not a way to solve it.

If you can’t decide, then it is perhaps you who doesn’t ‘love’.

   Wed May 17, 2006    Reply         

QUOTE (Cody)


What do yuo do when your stuck between two people?.. two people you love all to much and know it would brake your heart to see them cry and it would brake their heart to see you with any one but them.. im lost and help less at this moment.. Pleas help me...

Link: view Post: 249339



Ouch... thats a tough one. But, you do have to break some eggs to make an omelet. Here is what I would suggest. Look at them both. Decide which one you have more in comon with. See which one you have similer interests, view, religion, etc etc. If you are looking for a future, such as marriage and kids, you need to look at if they would be a good parent.

Most importantly, sometimes it is ok to be a little selfish. Think about yourself for a minute. Who makes you the happiest. Which one could you see yourself loving forever.

Maybe this sounds like something from Dr. Phil, but I really think if you consider all these things, you will find yourself to become very happy!

   Thu May 18, 2006    Reply         

In my culture and society its ok to love 99 - and its also ok to have 99 wives in that matter that osama bin ladin had 500 wives and 100 husbands and over 600 children.

WEll i if ur from the middle east you shouldnt have any problems , however, the western world is quite differnt and probably im the wrong person to give u this advice

sorry for bad english - im half drunk

dont drink and drive

peace

   Fri May 19, 2006    Reply         

Become Mormon.

Seriously, though, I have little doubt that what you're talking about is actually infatuation. How much time have you spent with either? How much time alone, conversing? Pick the one which you think probably likes you more, ask her out, see how it works. If it don't, you can go to the other. Unless you're like 40 years old it doesn't really matter.

   Fri May 19, 2006    Reply         

Ive been in this situation too many times for my liking.

I end up NOT going out with any of them because i cant stand to hurt one of them.. its for the best because you wont fell guilty or pressured

buht after a while if one is still talkin to you and the other isn't and he still likes you, you can get with him because you kno that he likes you for you

   Sun Jun 18, 2006    Reply         

I think it´s not an easy election but it can´t be so hard. Seriously, it´s very unlikely that you´re in a love triangle so deep that you love both of them and both of them love you equally. Maybe you could put them separately in simmilar situations to see how they behave so as to know who are really interested for you, or who is most interested at least. But first think about yourself. ¿Do you love both of them or just love one and you don´t want to hurt the other? You have to choose, life is hard. Unless you´re really open-minded people and you could be a threesome. :) Uh, that´s even more unlikely, I guess.

   Mon Jun 19, 2006    Reply         

I'm in this situation right now. I know that the guy I'm going out with now is way way in love with me and completely faithful. but my x has feelings again. and I do too. it's a tough decision. but hey my guys are dealing with this problem with a fight. haha.

-taylor

   Wed Oct 17, 2007    Reply         

Who do you see yourself with in the future? Who do you see beside you every single day? Who loves you more? Think about it and follow your heart...

-Veronica

   Sat Nov 10, 2007    Reply         

Cody,

I'm in the same situation as you. And honestly most people just can't understand how we feel. Of course the way each of them loves you is different, and of course your afraid to hurt either one of them.

I have known and cared deeply for one woman for about 7 years, and the other more than 5. I've been playing the "I'm too young to settle thing" but I'm getting older now and it's really not fair what I'm doing.

And I don't claim to be enough man for the two of them - I know I fall short of a lot of things with them, but they both still love me deeply - and I truly do love them both. Good luck with you choice... if you find a solution - let me know.

-Battousai

   Thu Nov 15, 2007    Reply         

What a hard decision - must be awful to feel you have to choose - all I can say is go with your heart and head! good luck

-oscar

   Wed Dec 5, 2007    Reply         

Wow... I'm surprised at how many people seem to relate to this situation.
I think if you truly love someone, you wouldn't justify the level of deception that is required to have two people on the go at one time. It seems to me that the motive for such a thing is not so much indecision, or desire, but dependency.

One person who you love, and who loves you, should be more than enough as far as the relationship thing is concerned, in my opinion. If it isn't, I think you need to look inward, rather than outward, and start pursuing something other than the opposite sex. If you have multiple partners, each thinking they're the one, then one thing you have is too much time on your hands!

Contemplating the fact that one poster on this forum has done this for years, really boggles the mind...
It's encouraging to see they recognize it isn't fair... and it truly isn't.
Each of those women deserve to be with someone to whom they are the only one.

In this case, I really feel the best course is to focus on inward development. Before you can learn to evolve with another person, as your partner, you need to learn have to advance yourself.

Bud

   Thu Dec 13, 2007    Reply         

Name:Blondie
Cody, I�m in the same situation as you are except I'm dating one of these guys. See, it's really complicated. I liked this one guy since I started to get to know him and at first I thought he did too, but then I found out he had a gf. I didn't want to waste my time and just end up getting hurt in the end. So I decided to give up and look for another guy. Well, I found him and after about a month we ended up hooking up. A couple weeks after that I found out that the guy I liked in the first place had broken up with his gf for me.I was shocked to say the least, but this where the whole thing started. Well, I didn't wana break it off with my new bf so me and him were just best friends. I'e now been dating this guy for almost 9 months and its truly amazing but the thing is this other guy tells me how much he loves me and I feel the same. It sucks so much to be in love with two people. And really you can't understand this situation unless you have been in it, and I'm surprised there's sumone else that's dealing with the same thing as me. I just don't know what to do because I couldn't bare to lose either of them.If you find a solution I would love to know. Well, sorry for the length here but like I said, it's complicated.I know what your going through...But good luck and hope it all works out for you!

[note=Approved by BH][/note]

   Fri Dec 14, 2007    Reply         

What do you do when you love two people? please help me!
What Do You Do When You Love Two People?

OK, so I've been having this problem for quite a while now. Well, I started my job a little over a year ago and I met this guy that I started to take an interest in. When we actually started talking and getting to know each other I really started falling for him. After a while we actually started being a little more than friends but not officially. I found out later that was because he had a girlfriend, but was trying to break up with her. Well I guess I missed the obvious signs. He talked to me the whole time about his relationship with her and how to break it off, and the fact that we were doing things together? I thought that was just for fun. Boy was I wrong. I asked him about this later and I guess he started to really like me, but I had no idea. So when I found out that he had a girlfriend, even though things weren't going well, I figured I didn't want to get hurt again like I had with countless other guys, so I gave up on him and started looking again. Well, I found another guy and we ended up hooking after a month of getting to know each other. We're still going out now and I love him more than anything. But, the thing is I still love this other guy and he loves me too, yet I want to make it all the way with the guy I'm with now. I just don't know what to do because I love them both and they love me too, it's just that I'm just best friends with this other guy because of my current boyfriend, but I can tell that it hurts him and it hurts me too... I just don't know what to do about it. I tell both of them I love them because I do...I just don't want to break up with my boyfriend because I love him to death but I'm sick of hurting this other guy that I also love so much. And I'm being told that I should stop being friends with this guy if I ever want to be truly happy with my current boyfriend, but the thing is, I can't bear to lose either of them...It sucks so much and I think about it a lot and it breaks my heart that no matter what I seem to do I'm going to hurt one of them and I just don't know how much longer me or either of them can handle this. I don't know what to do and I would appreciate any advice on this. Thank you so much for reading this and sorry for the length of it. Thank you and goodbye for now.

-Blondie

   Thu Dec 20, 2007    Reply         

OK, so since I last wrote to you I have been thinking a lot about this situation and really it sux to say the least.I think the worst thing about this is the fact that both guys love me and I love them back, I just don't know what to do, and it's just that I love my current bf too much to leave him, but I'm sick of hurting this other guy...

But like I said me and my bf are still together and really we both want to make it all the way with each other. It's just that this other guy is still really close to me and I can't lose him.

But, where I work some people kinda know the situation and I have someone giving me advice anonymously and it's driving me crazy that I don't know who it is. But they're telling me that even though this other guy is a great friend that I shouldn't hang out with him and just break of the friendship or me and my bf will never be happy...

I've thought about this possibility many times over and I just can't do it. No matter how I look at it I know I can't lose either guy but I have to find a solution so that I don't mess up my current relationship. But, you never know what will happen and I want to make it with this guy it's just that it hurts all the more when the other guy tells me he wants to be with me forever and I know that can't happen if I wanna make it with my bf...

Which I do. Its just so hard and I've thought so much and no matter how hard I try I can't come up with a solution. SO, IDK if your having this problem anymore but if you love two people I think you should really follow your heart..I know I'm being somewhat hypocritical since I'm, having problems too, but I just don't want you to end up in the same situation as I am...

Just think about it and follow your heart. If you do you will end up with the irght guy in the end...Thanks for listening and I'm sorry I'm telling you alot about my problem more than giving advice but maybe in some weird way, it'll help you out. Thanks again and good luck!

-Blondie

   Thu Dec 20, 2007    Reply         

Who to choose?
What Do You Do When You Love Two People?

I will try to make this as short as I can.. Ive been married over 7 years and we have a son well split up (not legally) been separated 6 months. I met this guy about 2 months after splitting.

Well about month ago we tried to rekindle and get back together, didn't work I missed this guy too much so I went back to him,,,,

So just this weekend we decided to rekindle again and my husband said this is the LAST time after this, its it! Keep in mind he has someone he met as well and could easily go back to her if things didn't work out with me (which he advised).

SO question is I'm stuck between both of them... New guy I've known about 5 months is in love with me, been there understands the ex and adores my child... Yet I know things wouldn't change getting back with the ex but yet I love them both.. HELP, someone :/

-reply by emily Brunsted

   Wed Jan 23, 2008    Reply         

Replying to CodyI'm in love with 2 people. One of them is even married. So trust me, I kno how hard it can be. But just 2 days ago they both found out about each other. I'm hurt but love has never treated me right. I'm only 19 and have been through so much. Life keeps on moving. Just follow your heart.

-reply by BellaFlor

   Mon Feb 18, 2008    Reply         

Ok so the last time I wrote I was having serious relationship problems. But me and my bf at the time broke up in the end of January...By my doing. He had been making me sad and angry for about two months before I broke it off...

By the time he realized there was something wrong, it was too late. The thing that sux is that he still loves me and I feel bad, because I still care about him...I just don't love him like I used too...Just as a friend now. We are still friends but it's complicated. Ok, then the other guy asked me out on Valentine's Day and I'm happier than ever with him. He's perfect me and he told me the same...So I guess what I'm trying to say is that in the end it will all work out..It just takes time...And sometimes a lot of it. But things are better now...Just a little bit of complication with my ex..But eventually that will work out too...Things are looking up. So just do what you have to do and in the end you'll be much happier and not to mention stress free. Well, until next time! Later!

-reply by Blondie

   Mon Feb 25, 2008    Reply         

I got a solution
What Do You Do When You Love Two People?

Replying to Trap FeedBacker

In response to your situation, sometimes we have to make decisions that may affect another in a way that may hurt them. But the truth of the matter is time heals all wounds. If you love your boyfriend as much as you say you do, then that's where you need to be. But if I'm wrong, then you need to search deep down in your heart about where you truly want to be. And also, when you make decisions, don't make them thru your emotions. Really think them out in a logical way. And whomever you choose, you be exclusive to him and let the other go. I know it will hurt you as well as whoever gets let down, but you have to make a grown up decision and like I said, eventually you will get past it and so will he. But if you continue to try to keep both of them happy, eventually you will probably lose both and then YOU won't be happy. So that's my advice, choose the one who truly has your heart the most and let the other down gently. Then go home to your man girlfriend!

   Fri Feb 29, 2008    Reply         

Emily Brunsted
What Do You Do When You Love Two People?

Replying to Trap FeedBacker

Emily,

I read your situation. I am in a similar one too, a little less complicated. I'm in love with my ex-boyfriend of 5 years, who left me last year. He still loves me as I love him too. During the past year, I fell in love with another man. We dated for 6 months. I love and miss them both. I miss my ex because I'm so in love with him and feel like we're destined to be together. But I miss the other man because he is my soul mate and he treats me better. How did your situation work out?

Michelle

-reply by Michelle

   Thu Feb 28, 2008    Reply         

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