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Internet Dating :) - Is it yours by internet?

 
 Discussion by nehemiah with 25 Replies.
 Last Update: August 25, 2009, 8:06 am
 
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Hey People,

Are you in love with someone via internet?

Then join your name here? That wil be pretty awesome :lol:

I have to praise such persons because they need to be so much patirnce and trusing each others ^_^

Come on guys ..










   Sun Oct 23, 2005    Reply         

i'm not going to be very romantic with this... but it is my opinion... it would be one of the most stupid things you could do. Why? Because first of all you don't know who is on the other end of the line (I know a website - it's in romanian else i would give you the link- which fools stupid people into doing crazy stuff thinking for example that on the other end of the line is a beautiful blond = just imagine what someone would do in front of a webcam and you'll realize what is the definition of stupidity)... so boys and girls have a second thought before becoming madly inlove with someone over the internet






   Sun Oct 23, 2005    Reply         

I'd have to agree that "falling in love" over the internet is not the smartest thing to do. I saw a quote once that was something like

QUOTE

There are no women on the internet. Just men who are men, women who are men, and children who are FBI agents.
Obviously this can't be taken literally, but wherever you go there's a good chance that whoever you're talking to isn't who you think it is.

Also, two of the most important things for communication are inflection and body language, and you just can't get those online. It's much easier to lie to someone, too. You just don't get a lot of the things over the internet that you get talking to someone in person.

   Sun Oct 23, 2005    Reply         


I'm sure there are women on the net. But don't expect to find your perfect partner on the other side of the screen. It might just end really badly. And all those success stories you read about on things like match.com or whatever. Well it's called advertising. I wonder how many times they can ask someone for a quote like that out of a thousand. Online dating seems like a lottery. A very scary and disturbing one.

   Sun Oct 23, 2005    Reply         

.. I tried this. Well, not really, not on purpose.. it just happened. As already suggested, it did not end well. It still gets to me sometimes, what happened in the end (I won't go into details there - lets just say it wasn't pretty). It actually left me with a bit of a trust issue that, because of this and other "in-person" situations combined, I probably won't get over any time soon.

I wouldn't advise it. Not unless you knew the person before this happened, and you're confident in who they say they are. Also, it would be 10034 times better if it were possible to meet them in person (yes, yes, in a public place..), as then you'll know they've been honest with who they are.

   Sun Oct 23, 2005    Reply         

Well, I think I have to stress on the word LOVE then dating.

If you love someone TRUST is an important matter. If you think the onther end is the same sex and if you are diverted by the suggestions of your freinds it means that you are a perosn who can not belive your partner.

LOVE needs trust first. Unfortunately in internet love you need to invest much trust.

But I don't think it is really a risky one to be locked with a asme sex person. Beacuse you can ensure them by knowing their friends circle. Am I right?

^_^

   Tue Oct 25, 2005    Reply         


I have a "boyfriend" who i contact over the internet. I've never met him, he lives in texas. He admited that he liked him and I told him I liked him back. Problem: That was a lie. Every guy I've talked to told me they liked me and I said that I liked them back. And they all asked me to be their girlfriend and I agreed to each and every one of them. Aren't I cruel? You never know if someone online is bf/gf with someone else and you'll never know about it...
And you can't really "love" that person if all you do is chat and pretend to date and get married. Jeez...

   Thu Oct 27, 2005    Reply         

Well, I agree, there are people who use internet dating as a time pass.

But can I ask you a question? Will any guy sit and write mails pages and pages?

I agree chatting will be done for time pass. But longer mails? How is it possible unless they are in love?

You can now jude everyone just because of your experiance,

Both the cases are there. But I belive internet love has much probability to be broekn up easily unless both of them are with well understanding.

   Fri Oct 28, 2005    Reply         

I've talked about it a few times before here, but I had a really bad experience with this sort of thing in the past and now I look at the whole thing with a bit of caution. The thing is, you can talk to someone and care a lot about them and like them a whole lot, but I really don't believe that you can be "in love" without meeting. There are too many variables to fill in. It's too easy to hide flaws, it's too easy to play games. But with that said...

I don't think it's such a bad idea anymore, since I've realized that I can't practice what I preach and I've fallen back into the whole thing in the past few months, spending hours chatting with a new guy (I mean, a different guy, but one I've known online for several years). LOL. The bad situation happened five years ago and hopefully I can use what I learned from all that to not make the same mistakes again. Right now, I'm going very, very slowly and I am not going to fall into any traps. Plus, I am not going to look deeper into things than what they are. As with any sort of dating, if you just look at it as something fun to do instead of the end of the world- it should be okay. I hope.

   Sat Oct 29, 2005    Reply         

the hell?

dont do internet dating. i mean on the NET? Okay, maybe whoever does that needs a LIFE. no offence.

1. you dont know the person, even if you SEE them in person... who knows what they'll do?
2. they MAY be faking it.
3. they can rape (women of course..) you OR steal anything of your belongings.
4. they might not be STRAIGHT. (bi, hetro, trans, lesbians...,*happy*..)

yeah sorry for that "improper" english.

   Sat Oct 29, 2005    Reply         

wow what a gr8 exprience you have , it will alway memorable you

:P

   Mon Oct 31, 2005    Reply         

I think you just have to be honest with people.. but expect that no one is being honest with you ^^;
Internet relationships can be fun.. although I haven't had one since I was pretty young and new to things.. (I stick to real guys, they're so much cuddlier ^^!)

Ah.. I admit, sometimes I run into guys (or maybe they aren't really guys o.o) online that I love talking to, and it's like, "Ahhh.. I love this guy...*.*".. but I never take it farther than random thoughts :B

..although I will say, now.. my current boyfriend had to move 3 hours away from where I live, and since we're both busy with college and stuff, I rarely get to see him face-to-face anymore. It's become a sort of an internet relationship for these few months.. and it's interesting.
(But at the same time, it's not the same thing at all, since I really do know who he is, and he'll be back in a year or so, if everything goes well ^^)



..jeeze that was rambly of me .. ^^;;

   Sun Nov 13, 2005    Reply         

no offence but ,, you are seriously desperate if you chose internet dating. I'm sure there are tons of females/males out there for you to date other then "net".

I heard thsi story from my brother. He said that one of his friend met this one girl on ragnorok and they started to date. They even have little wedding in the game. She flew to his place and he flew to hers. ehh.. probably isn't the type of ending you would expect. But i still think it is sad for someone to meet their soul mate over the internet.

   Sun Nov 13, 2005    Reply         

It all depends how you cope with it. You can't judge SUN is bad. It is nature and it is good in some way. Similarly, internet dating is part of today's modern society. It does not make sense for some people.


Disadvantages

Other members' thinking are all correct. Those are true.
No Trust
No Honest
No loyalty

( e.g. one guy will date you two or three times because he forgets who you are )
Very dangerous
It is dangerous if they plan to meet outside

Liars
You become a liar

Random Love
(e.g. you will meet your bro there)

Illusion
You are not living on the real world. You live on the Fantasy world. They are going to tell you how much they love you and they are really eager to marry you. You cannot rely on it. If you get married, that marriage cannot go very well. (Your bad habits, his bad habits, Like, Dislikes)

Big problem
I'm afraid to marry because I met lots of guys and I don't trust anyone :)


Advantages

Good experience

If you say NO
I talked with one guy everyday. He listens whenever I told him. He dates me at last. I said NO. He said BYE. He disappeared later.

If you say YES
I wait my friends and family online but they do not want to give their time to me. I want to speak my mother language with someone. I met one guy from my country online. I talk with him everyday. He dated me. I said YES. Until today, he always waits me there and talks with me. Maybe he is chatting with other girls. I don't care. As long as he is there for me, it is fine.

You get SOMEONE always there. You can tell your feeling, problems, release your stress. No need to tell your big idea. I have experience with that.

Safe
As for me, Internet Dating is safe. I do not wish to meet my online bf in the real world because I know he can rape me OR kill me. As long as you can handle yourself not to meet guys outside and meet him behind the screen, it is secure for girls. This is my rule and I can manage very well because I always date with guys who stay abroad. I have never given my real name, my real address, and my real mobile number.

Although I think internet dating is good in some way, I do not wish to marry online bf.
I totally agree with others. It won't go well. 100% for sure.

   Fri Nov 30, 2007    Reply         

Internet dating! Wow what a topic I have got a story for you all...lol
I am female 36 very happily married, but I love to chat on the internet, I would never date because I am married and if i wasnt i still dont think i would do it, the real thing is wayyyyy beter.. Anyway on to my story, I have 4 kids 2 teens from a previous marriages and 2 young ones from my current marriage. My teens are both female 17 (18 in about 2 weeks) and 16. They both have there own pc. Ok where to start..lol My oldet her name is ashley. Starting having online relations with a boy in minnesota, we live in washington state. This was back in may of this year I think when it all started. She plays online pool at yahoo games and met him there they started chatting and what not and things just kinda went from there, a couple weeks later she started refering to him as her boyfriend. I was not so much in shock, I cant say I dont believe in internet dating, it really doesnt bother me its just nor for me. My husband on the other hand is very very against it, he does not believe in it at all. But anyways I was a little concerend as any parent would be, not so much at first but they more serious they got the more concerend I got. It caused alot of problems between my husband and I we were constantly fighting over it. But as time went on my daughter started talking about wanting to take a trip on the bus to minnesota, I was frantic I didnt know what to do. and I told her no absolutely not, and she told me after she was 18 she was gonna do it anyway,this is late september by this time so she was only a little over 2 months from being 18, and I was scared to death. This boy she was seeing was 19 thats not a big deal to me as she is almost 18 i think that is resonable. But anyway about a week after our discussion about her going to minnesota she tells me, well rob is just gonna come here first instead of me going there so you guys can meet him, I didnt really like that idea either but it was better then her leaving and going there, and besides they are kids I figured most of it was talk. Well I learned the hard way that it wasnt just talk. not even a week later my daughter comes to me and says Rob got on the bus this morning he will be here in 4 days, can he stay here. OMG!! I really didnt know what to do I was in shock at that point, and I had to tell my husband that this kid was on a bus on his way here. Anyway back to the can he stay here. I told her absolutely not!! I asked her how did he get the money to get a bus ticket, she says he has a job he is bringing his own money with him. So my reply was well if he has money he can get himself a room. So you can imagine the qustion that came next. Well can I stay with him. Wow I just wanted to shake her and say are you crazy, you dont even know this guy. But in her mind she does know him. Of course my response was no! Well the boy showed up 4 days later as I was told he would, I took her down to the bus station to pick him up and we took him to a motel. he got his room had to change his schedule a little and make his trip shorter because he didnt have enough money to stay 8 days, which was fine with me. So he was here about 4 days they hung out toghether she showed him the town. Then finally I was so happy it was time for him to leave. We took him to the bus she saw him off. 4 days later he was back home in minnesota, she was so excited to talk to him again after they had met, and things were good for about a day, and then they broke up after all that, and he started spreading rumors to mutual friends of theres and all kinds of bs. And she thought she was in love especially after she met him, and he seemed the same way while he was here. Anyway I forgot what the moral of the story is, I guess its just be careful with what ever you do online, anybody can tell you anything I try to get that accross to my kids all the time, I tell them you know I could make up a name and come and chat with you where ever you hang out and tell you anything I want that im a Dr. that im rich , and you guys believe that, you are to trusting, and I know this was a very hard lesson for my daughter to learn, but hopefully she will think twice next time about opening her heart to someone online. Besides the fact I told both teens that internet dating is not allowed in our house anymore.. lol Well I know it was long but I hope this story can help someone out there think twice or be very sure you know what you are doing, and dont trust ANYONE unless you know for certain.

   Fri Nov 30, 2007    Reply         

I'm not sure the internet dating thing is for me at all.
It's Christmas and I am all alone again, at age 36! In the last 2 years, I have met 4 girls online, chatted online for a while and eventually met them. It all ended the same way - high expectations, dashed hopes.
I broke up with the last one about 2 weeks ago. I had thought this was going to be different. We got along so beautifully when we first met via a dating site. We started talking on the phone for hours daily. We both felt things were looking good.
I won't bore you with too much details, I'll leap and tell you we met and I was a little disappointed. Three things: 1. she was overweight (she had told me she was big, but I foolishly thought she was overstating it. I never expected her to be that big). 2. Her personal hygiene was cool (gross) 3. She suffered from legendary insecurity.
We tried to make it work, operating under the illusion that nothing in the world is perfect. We believed we could focus on the positives and ignore the obvious problems. It didn't work.
We don't talk anymore. We parted ways about 2 weeks ago.
So here I am wondering if... What a Christmas I'm gonna have...another lonely, lonely yuletide.

   Sun Dec 23, 2007    Reply         

i'm not going to do this post justice. maybe i will expand on it if i get any response from this post. to me, dating is dating no matter which means you choose to communicate. you can communicate on the phone, in person, webcam, typing, etc...

i was in my early 30's and wasn't looking for anyone. in fact, i would rarely date at all. i knew in my soul that i had to be patient and i didn't want to date the same person several times just to satisfy my emptiness or lonliness. i LOVED the chat rooms though. mainly i was very sarcastic and witty and would just say some of the weirdest stuff just to liven the place up. i met some girls that i thought had potential but never really was fully in to it. something was missing.

anyway, one day, i met someone how wrote something in several peoples emails. it was a cummonity environment and i recieved one of the select few emails sent. i was intrigued because this person sent something from their heart and explained why they were hurt. such a magical thinking person to write someone like that and stay positive after being hurt. we got to talking. was intrigued more by other things.

eventually, i was thinking about this person every day and would be empty inside if i didn't have the chance to talk to her that day. we started talking on the phone, showing webcam, etc....and i was falling in love. i was falling in love by what was inside this person rather than the physical aspect. i told some people about how i was feeling and they all told me i was nuts. some who knew me very well even went so far to say that i have always been attracted to those who need help in their lives and it wasn't love i was feeling. well, they were right and wrong. only i could be my own judge in what i was really feeling.

5 years later, we got married.



now, relationships are tricky. marriages are tricky. most people don't hold relationships or marriages sacred as i do. divorce rates are too high and everyone is dating everyone under the sun. me, i didn't date much. and at the age of 38, i entered in to a life long commitment of marriage which i don't plan to break. my patience paid off in the long run. my morals and values paid off in the long run. my understanding of who i am paid off in the long run. my basic knowledge of life paid off in the long run. i was LONELY people, and i had the discipline to not lead others on because of it. i stood firm n my beliefs in who i was. i didn't dress to impress. i didn't go out of my way to be someone i wasn't. anyone who saw me as attractive on the inside or out would get me fully with no games and no misconceptions.

internet dating is looked down upon because people don't understand love. they don't understand soul mates. they don't understand friendships. they think the internet isn't real life. these people live their lives in a hole that they can't escape from. these people limit themselves to the possibilities of real life.

i want to add this though. internet dating is alot harder than in person dating. it's also more dangerous for women. i went through a lot while i was dating over the internet. i was tested in life. it was a huge test. i'm glad i passed it and i'm glad it's over because there were very sad and scarey times. life threatening sometimes. when someone lives 1800 miles away and there are scarey times, you want to be there for that person no matter what....and you can't because you are seperated by 1800 miles. in person relationships are easier, but people take advantage of that and don't hold relationship as sacred. they date to use people. they date to test the waters and lead people on. they get along sometimes and decide to get married before they realize it was a mistake. if you ask me, a lot of the follish people are holding the in person relationships who aren't open enough or strong enough to get close to someone online.

online, you have two choices. since you can be whoever you want online, you can lie and decieve like a lot of people do. or you have the opportunity to open your heart. it's alot easier online to open your heart for some reason because it's not face to face and people get embarrased or think too much. sometimes it's easier to just type it, and walk away from the screen in embarrasment and then come back :)

anyway, my wife and i have been married for almost a year now(we got married on january 1st, 2007). we have struggled, but we are making it. we are soul mates. we are so much alike and our differences compliment eachother. what i am weak in, she is strong in. what she is weak in, i am strong in. it's a perfect sceneario of compatibility. if i were to have limited myself to just an in person relationship, then i would have never gave the relationship with my wife a chance. so thank god i never took the advice of my mother, some of my friends, and some of the close minded people who have responded to this thread. thanks god i had a brain of my own that i used and became a better person for it.

sorry. i love my mother and i respect other peoples opinions, my mother knows now she was wrong. hopefully some of the people who responded negatively opens up their minds to the limits of all possibilities that is REAL.

i know i've rambled but hahaha i have to laugh knowing that some people called what i did as desperate. :( i have never been desperate my whole life. i was in fact the OPPOSITE of desperate since my problem wasn't getting people to date me :( i just knew what i wanted and needed and i waited and waited for it. i would have waited a lifetime if i had to. i will never sacrifice my principles on loneliness. so sorry to disappoint all those who think it's a desperate act to date on the internet hahaha

btw- i do love to help people. funny that the people needing the most help are often found in the chat rooms. i needed help with my lonliness and that was satisfied by guiding people within their own unique situations. i still do. some of them are women. my wife gets jealous. doesn't if i am helping a man though. go figure. she still has trust issues but i'm patient

   Sun Dec 23, 2007    Reply         

I would not be the one to enroll my name here,thats because I tried dating through internet but the outcome was nothing.We two developed good relationships,But after a while there was no response from the girl.After that I hate Internet dating.I think till you don't meet the right person and trust you shouldn't take a step forward.Thats all I have learnt from my past relations...........

   Sun Dec 23, 2007    Reply         

Before I start here, I'd like to say that I'm not even going to read the other replies in this thread, because I fear that they will anger me. Because the topic of internet relationships cannot be discussed in public without stubborn people *BLEEP*ing about it.
Anyway,
I'd also like to say that, before reading this story and thinking it has a happy ending in the context of the plot... It doesn't. :)

Anyway
As I was saying
A few years ago (Three... Almost to the day... I think I met her on like the 29th of December) I met this girl in the Internet. And yadda yadda yadda, I started to have feelings for her. Anyway, after a while (An internet relationship is a little more serious of a commitment than I'd rush into), after 6 months, the two of us got together. Via internet. Internet relationship.
Now
Due to
Things that happened
Murphy's Law kind of things.
In the first week we were together.
Things got a little screwed up.
Pretty much to the point that we fought every day.
Every day.
Consistently.
We actually had it almost down to a schedule. We'd talk civilly for about an hour then I'd say something to piss her off and it'd go from there.
Anyway, four months into this long term argument (As I like to call it)
We broke up.
Which was bad. Needless to say.
This isn't quite the end yet though. Remember this whole thing started three years ago, and we got together at the end of July. So this means we broke up in November. We've only really made it a year into the story. There's time left still.
Anyway
In January, on the third, actually.
I was talking to her again, because, y'know, she was also pretty much my best friend and I wanted to keep her in my life.
And, after talking to her for a while in January, we decided to make the 'always brilliant' idea of getting back together.
And hey, it worked this time, more-so than the first time we were together ever came close to.
We didn't fight anymore and worked past all the other *BLEEP* that plagued the relationship.

Anyway, the next 7 months or so are just blank plot. And if anyone has actually read the post all the way to here, I commend you, I don't really expect my rambling to be well received.
But after the next 7 months went by, we broke up again. Due to no dramatic event, we just weren't working anymore. No fighting or anything like that. It was a very peaceful breakup, as far as they go.

Anyway, we're getting close to the end now. (I've never actually tried to summarize the whole relationship in a single forum post somewhere)
I didn't speak to her again for almost a year after that. Just because I didn't want to get back into it after a couple months like the first one. But I'm speaking with her again now. In purely platonic ways, which makes me happy, because she's still one of my best friends.

And since then, I've also started dating someone... Not via the internet now. Which is great (And a pleasant change).

Anyway, that's the gist of it, I suppose.
Overall, I don't disapprove of online relationships. They can work out, I've seen and heard of them working out before. And the experience I had with them was not negative. And the reasons for it not working out were hardly to due to the distance between us. So I don't put "Internet Relationships" in the negative category any more than I put "Real Life" relationships into the negative category; even though I've had FAR, FAR more bad experiences with girls close to me than the one across the ocean.

   Mon Dec 24, 2007    Reply         

yeah i believe some of which you are saying, i think that no one can be trusted over there net or at least very few pwoplw can be trusted, the internet and social networks scare me :)

   Mon Dec 24, 2007    Reply         

QUOTE (selim)

I'm sure there are women on the net. But don't expect to find your perfect partner on the other side of the screen. It might just end really badly. And all those success stories you read about on things like match.com or whatever. Well it's called advertising. I wonder how many times they can ask someone for a quote like that out of a thousand. Online dating seems like a lottery. A very scary and disturbing one.
Link: view Post: 197632


yeah.. online dating is just like as game of chance. but it also depends on how you present your self during online dating.


QUOTE

Also, two of the most important things for communication are inflection and body language, and you just can't get those online.


but your profile can tell much more about you and your conversation is the most powerful element to present yourself. This way you may also get idea about the singles who are at the other side of the screen.

   Sat Mar 29, 2008    Reply         

dating over internet is just waste of time and you cant rely on people over internet cause most of them are fake and mostly they tell wrong about them, it's better to find a good real person in real life cause life is real it's not virtual show.
i had bad experience over internet related to this :lol: so personally i think it's simply insane to find or dating on internet yeah there are few successful stories i've heard about it but i think it ratio is too low that you can can't try you luck over it. anyways. it's all up to you how you think.

   Sun Mar 30, 2008    Reply         

online dating... i don't know i think it could work if u just want to get some quick sex but that's about all you can get. my point is that if it's so hard to find someone for you in real life imagine how much the chance drop online where some a lot of them are scammers. and even without the scammers it's really hard to hit it of with someone on the net, and they're pictures might be misleading... (it happened to me, yeah i know..). better go to your local bar and star hitting on girls you like :lol: from 20 hits you'll get one , that is if your not the ugliest guy on the planet, and u can do 10 hits a day easy :P)

   Mon Mar 31, 2008    Reply         

Just had to say something, its such as interesting topic.

QUOTE

There are no women on the internet. Just men who are men, women who are men, and children who are FBI agents.
lol, I like that quote. just had to mention it.


QUOTE (beeseven)


I'd have to agree that "falling in love" over the internet is not the smartest thing to do. I saw a quote once that was something like Obviously this can't be taken literally, but wherever you go there's a good chance that whoever you're talking to isn't who you think it is.

Also, two of the most important things for communication are inflection and body language, and you just can't get those online. It's much easier to lie to someone, too. You just don't get a lot of the things over the internet that you get talking to someone in person.
Link: view Post: 197629


thats why you meet up in real life, but thats always a risk,

QUOTE (exhale)

the hell?

dont do internet dating. i mean on the NET? Okay, maybe whoever does that needs a LIFE. no offence.

1. you dont know the person, even if you SEE them in person... who knows what they'll do?
2. they MAY be faking it.
3. they can rape (women of course..) you OR steal anything of your belongings.
4. they might not be STRAIGHT. (bi, hetro, trans, lesbians...,*happy*..)

yeah sorry for that "improper" english.
Link: view Post: 199537

I like all that!!! just what i was thinking, and half of them are true..


QUOTE

As for me, Internet Dating is safe. I do not wish to meet my online bf in the real world because I know he can rape me OR kill me. As long as you can handle yourself not to meet guys outside and meet him behind the screen, it is secure for girls. This is my rule and I can manage very well because I always date with guys who stay abroad. I have never given my real name, my real address, and my real mobile number.

Although I think internet dating is good in some way, I do not wish to marry online bf.
I totally agree with others. It won't go well. 100% for sure.

hmm, sounds interesting...

but as generation changed and times, changed i think internet dating is been a popular way of meetting people, just think of rsvp,myspace and social networks where you meet other people, but it has always been a risk of meeting other people as of murder or rape, but this depends mainly on trust, as you have to trust each other to meet up,

but overall i dont think its a bad idea, as its a way of socilising,

but why :lol: Internet dating, just through IM, through the comp.

   Tue Apr 1, 2008    Reply         

im in love via internet too!!Internet Dating :)

I am! really in love, met him 2 years ago, he if from the UK and I'm mexican, started dating 4 months ago :) and we are already planning our future together, I actually asked him if he would marry me and he said yes haha, of course we'll wait until we meet for that ^^  

-reply by abigail s.

   Wed Aug 5, 2009    Reply         

hi,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
i am ashish ranjan
i am sorry i canot say anything about it
because i don't had such experience.
but when ever i will get through it i will
make you know about that

   Tue Aug 25, 2009    Reply         

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   26-Sep-2009    Reply         

The Explosion Of The Internet.

How big can the internet get? In a time where more and more Chinese people get access to the internet there rise some questions. India is 1 of the top computer software managing countries in the world. Africa did just start using the internet. In California the electricity supply becomes a problem. ...more

   01-Oct-2010    Reply         

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