9 replies to this topic

[Trystim]

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged n.
3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good job!
5. Excuse me. Is "stick up" hyphenated?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
7. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
8. Bad cop! No donut!
9. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
10. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.
11. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on Cops ?
12. Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's nightstand.
13. Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonald's?
14. I pay your salary!
15. So, uh, you on the take, or what?
16. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
17. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
18. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car around-that's how far ahead of me they are.
19. What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained specialist.
20. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
21. Hey, is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum.
22. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?

[darkwarrior]

You Forgot OINK.

Also, though its fun, its best to just be polite. Police can cause so much hassle for you when they abuse their power because you wound them up.

[krofty]

"Officer, I swear to drunk I'm not God!"

I just love these police jokes...

Cop: "You eyes look red. Have you been drinking?"
Driver: "You're eyes look glazed. Have you been eating donuts?"

[aerin]

lol Those are quite funny. But realistically speaking, if you ever did say any of that stuff to an officer while you're getting pulled over, he'd ownz your butt, and either givce you a speeding ticket, or arrest you too... But hey, that's why they're funny.
Here's another one: Naw, officer, I wasn't drinkin' an' drivin'...does this marijuana look like a beer to you?

[aznxelmo]

Those were funny, i might try saying 1 to a cop Luckily in Singapore, cops are impartial, but i think if you really say some realll offensive, i think they're gonna pwn your *bottom*. Too bad i can't really think of stuff like this up

[iwuvcookies]

Or here's one:

Hey officer, lets get a hotel near by.

lol. They would probably put you right in jail for something like prostitution. lol....... But yeh those are some pretty funny things to say to officers. I wonder if anyone ever say those things? I hope not. All I see on tv is crazy people getting arrested and drunk/drugged people.

[rvovk]

Here is mine:

Why are cops always in pair?

So, that they have atleast elementary school education together.

Where are they?

[Moneymaker]

where do you people get this stuff? I especially like yours, krofty, the one:

Quote

Cop: "You eyes look red. Have you been drinking?"
Driver: "You're eyes look glazed. Have you been eating donuts?"

[DMA]

im sure you can find lots of these jokes on the internet somewhere easily.

[Axe]

aerin, on Oct 13 2004, 07:07 AM, said:

if you ever did say any of that stuff to an officer while you're getting pulled over, he'd ownz your butt, and either givce you a speeding ticket, or arrest you too... But hey, that's why they're funny.

they wouldnt own my butt if i shot them first jk. i might wanna be a police officer when im older