45 replies to this topic

[iGuest]

He gives you all the signals but you still not sure!
Guy Problems

Okay, there is this guy I like and he says he doesn't like me like that. Well, last night he brought me back to town to meet my mom after a party and while we were there, he moved my hair from my face to behind my ear. I'm not sure if he was flirting, making a move, or just trying to be nice since I was worried about my mom driving. I need help before I make a drastic move I might regret later. Please help.

-reply by Robyne

[weimond]

You are way too young to get your life too complicated, that guy is clearly not focus, he probably needs to sort out his own demons first.. My honest advice will be to give him some more time apart and see how he goes. Remember, life is to enjoy

S

AmandaB78, on Dec 15 2005, 01:13 PM, said:

hey everyone. I have a serious problem on my hands. Let me start here..

I started going out with this guy a year and 4 months ago. While we were together he used to get drunk all the time and completely hurt me.. Not physically but emotionally and mentally. Its like.. when he gets one beer in his system he doesn't care about me or us. Everything sets him off. So I put up with him for a year or so. I was use to the weekends being a mess.I knew that I would get ditched at least once or twice every week, have him leave my house out of nowhere for stupid reasons (always when he drinks tho) ((which is every night))
, hanging up on me all the time, basically breaking my heart.

I do everything for this kid. We are broken up now. But were back trying to see if wwe can work it out. He tells me hes goning to change but I've heard it a million times. He freaks out over nothing still to this day and were not going out. He says he can't trust me and mostly everything is my fault but if you ask me and everyone including my parents friends teachers etc.. hes got some seri0ous problems and if anything I shouldn't trust him. Hes done some bad things and he even admits to me that he "ditches" me and that he keeps things from me. Also... I've really changed my life around alot in the past year and started doing alot of good things instead of being miserable. But he doesn't appreciate the things I do. He doesn't ask me how I feel or how my day was. He doesn't congradulate me on things I do. He just thinks about himself.

I love him but I HATE THIS! I don't mean to sound cocky or anything but I'm sure there are other guys out there that would appreciate me and treat me good but I can't let go. Everyone I know tells me I should but I can't do it. I hate being miserbale and I know I will be. I just don't think he'll change. He told me he would the other day and just an hour ago. He got mad at me because some stupid kid called my phone. I don't talk to this kid I can't stand him and I don't know why he called. But "the boy toy" got mad and basically flipped on me walked out and went home. It wasn't my fault!! I'm 17 and hes 20 but I swear to god hes just as immature and stupid as he was when he was 13.

I need some advice. I'm pretty positive the outcome though.

[jogarriot]

hey amanda, let me tell you... my girlfriend used to smoke like crazy, she used to drink like hell and got drunk, violent, and we had problems all the time. i couldnt sleep well anyday because she partied everyday and it really hurted me, all her guy friends wanted to sleep with her and taking a drunk girl is not that hard... i just hated it. but she loved beer too much

what i did was did. when she was sober, we talked about how much it affected me. she would have comebacks for everything, but eventually after i asked her to not talk back (for the hundredth time) she listened totally. and we made a deal that would meet half ways (using in a sutil way the threat that if she didnt change i would leave her) the deal was she would only drink to get happy not drunk and i would not complain about the beer. she agreed upon it. a few months later when she got used to be only happy i told her that it still affected to see her like that, that i didnt want her to get happy or drunk (this was harder thought) but eventually we agreed, she didnt get happy/drunk and i wouldnt complain about drinking. time passed and eventually i told her hey, i want you to drink less because you are not fit or whatever excuse i could find (this was the hardest part) but eventually she almost stopped it. now i have my very healthy and responsible girlfriend :-) it took around 9 months overall and like 1 and a half for each step but it sure was worth it.

[jogarriot]

maybe you dont have to leave him... but if he doesnt change at all, its 'better alone than with bad company'

[iGuest]

what would you do?????
Guy Problems

So I'm friends with this guy, and we have been seeing each other for the last 5 months, plus we dated about 7 years ago, I really like him, he tells me that he likes me to. My friends keep telling me that I'm stupid and he's just using me and thinks that he can have me whenever he wants. They tell me I should forget about him, and move on. He told me the other night that he had a date the next night and that he didn't want me to be mad or anything, I'm not mad but it still hurts, I do feel like he is using me but then he always tells me that he likes me and stuff, I'm so confused and I don't know what to do. Everyone looks at me like I'm stupid and like what the hell is she doing.It's so hard because I like him so much, I want to say thats enough but easier said than done. I have even turned down other guys for him, and everyone says he would not do that for me. I feel so stupid because I think sometimes he is just using me, but then he gets there telling all this stuff about how he do like me and that I'm so pretty and all that stuff, he got my head confused...What would you do if you were me???????????

-reply by confused

[goldtupac]

He most likely wont change at all and if so you need to leave. You dont want to be with him till your around 25-35 dealing with the same stuff you are right now.

[iGuest]

Okay long story short. So there was this boy dan who me and my friend kate had a huge crush (everyone liked him). He had alot of parties at his house and he was just one of those guys that got along with everyone. Well he liked my friend kate so then I tried to hook them up. So then he asked her out and she said no. Me and dan became better friends after cause I was there to talk to him and make him feel better. During that time I had a really huge crush on him but had no idea he felt the same way. Then he kissed me and asked me out I asked kate if it was okay and she said it was fine, so we started dating. Everything was perfect until kate called him drunk telling him she wanted him back and that she missed him. After that he decided to dump me. And she told him that she was just drunk and didnt care and still didnt want to date him. Me and kate are still good friends. So then everything after that got crazy for a while. When things started to cool down me and dan became friends again. We have been for a while. I realized he still liked me when he asked me to prom since he graduated last year and this whole drama scene happened around that time. I said yes and that id love to go. So ofcourse we were making out at parties after the next couples of nights but for some reason I wasnt able to trust him. He hurt me so badly. I realized I had him but I was so over that whole situation I didnt want to bring the drama back. Then I started dating other guys and would only talk to him for like once every 2 weeks. Now I realized I want him back. But he doesnt want me or atleast I don't think so go figures. He just doesnt act that interested how do I make him more interested? prom is coming up and I don't really want him dancing with 5 billion other girls. Ahhh help.

-question by megan

[iGuest]

I know just how you feel! The guy I was with was so sweet but then he started doing drugs like every night. Just this last week I broke up with him. Yea, it was hard but deff worth it. He's been trying to get back at me but I've just acted like it doesn't bother me. Just do what you want to do.

Forget him

-reply by LilLu

[iGuest]

Alright so, it was around the end of February when a guy added me on myspace. We started talking about music and guitars and it seemed like we had alot in common. Then he asked me how old I was. It turned out I was 4 years younger than him. I asked if that was okay and he said its not that big of a age difference and that it was okay. I was pretty happy because I was starting to fall for this guy. BTW his name is Patrick. The week after we met, I went to Florida for vacation. We talked trough I'm and texted alot. And when I got home he told me he loved me. He asked if I wanted to go to his school talent show he was in. I was soooo excited but I still had to ask my parents. They wouldnt let me go. I got so upset but he comforted me and said that it was okay and that I could go to the next one. But then he saw an I'm of me and my friend talking about a boy. I only said that the guy was kinda cute.. But Patrick got really mad, said I was a young pathetic little girl. I cryed for 3 hours straight. He was very mean and I know I should have givin up on our relationship then but for some reason, I couldnt. I IMed him. I said "What if I come and see you right now?" and he said "Its the middle of the night and its snowing. Why would you want to come see me now?" I said because I loved him. So I IMed my friend and see said she would drive me there because it was sorta far away. The only problem was: I had to sneak out. I was completely determined to do it and I did. I snuck out of my home in the middle of the night; walked to her house in a snow storm and when I got there she said "Oh, I didnt think you had the guts to do it so I cant drive you there.." and her grandparents called my parents. I got in big trouble and was grounded for a long time. They forbid me from seeing him. But I couldnt do it. I couldnt stay away from him. I loved him. So he came to my village and we went to the trails. [the trails is a place behind our park and is over grown with tree's, but is enough clear to be able to go in it. And probably not be seen.] We made out there. But we didnt have sex. And then after that day the texts started decreasing. About 2 weeks later he came down again. We went to the trails again and basically did the same as before. And again the text decreased and decreased untill they came to a complete stop. I asked him why? and he said "Because I no longer love you.." I was so upset. And I havent talked to him in about a week. I cryed and cryed and cryed. Yet he feels nothing. I cant get him out of my mind. My friends keep trying to tell me that I'm better off and that he only wanted me for sex. But I still love him. I keep asking myself why I wasnt good enough, but I cant find an answer. I keep thinking there was more I could have done. That if I really cared I could have stopped all this from happening.. I don't know what to do.. Can I fix this? HELPPP!!

-reply by Alex

[iGuest]

guy problem advice
Guy Problems

So I've been going out with this guy for 7 months now and I love him totally

But he doesnt know how to respect me
Whenever we get into fights be calls me a ***** or retarted or other words and it makes me soo upset.

Most of the time he is really an amazing person. But we have so many differences and he's my first and I cant let go.

He abuses me mentally and emotionally and I know its wrong but I just can not leave him I don't know what to do!!

-question by Nina