8 replies to this topic

[Goosestaf]

feel bit odd bout talkin bout it here, but this forums better than any others i suppose

bassicly, i had been with someone for a year, and grown very attatched to them, and then fell apart, and now i really don't wanna be that serious and atatched again for a long while.
i jsut wanna have fun with someone.
and that someone i think i've found. Shes pretty, fun, so god dam cute (i'm a sucka for that)and outgoing.
Were both at the same university and both live in Uni Accomadation, differernt buidings tho.
We don't have any lessons together as were doin ocmpeltelty differernt subjects.
I got speakin to her on myspace and things have led on to msn n such.
My probklem being, on msn i'm more confident, as people generrly are. And i'm bassicly just really bloody nervous bout jus spendin any time with her, as i know i'll come across as being all shy and won't talk much first of all, just like i am with anyone first of all, untill i get comfortable aroudn someone.
I mean shes invited me over hers a coupel times but i've been a coward and blown it off , bassivcly as i wanna be in a place such as a bar with other people around so there isnt as much pressure.

But i will still be quiet first of all. . . .

SO, finally i ask of any help to just relax, or possibly hint that i'm shy so she isnt dissapointed eeeeeek

i mean normally i try and get to know people as friends first in person, so to avoid this kidn of sitatuion, but jus kinda happened and clicked.

[misere]

What do you normally talk to her about on MSN and myspace and all that? You could always just keep talking to her about the same things, or if that's not possible, there's always the good old standards.

People love to talk about themselves, so ask her about herself. Things like "How was your day?" and if she brushes the question off with the usual "It was alright", you can say something like, "No, really. I'd like to know", but try to keep it not too stalkerish, and then hopefully, that'll lead into a nice conversation, and by the time that ends, you'll be comfortable enough to keep talking.

Or, you could ask her out instead of waiting for her to ask you out. That way, you could pick where you hook up with her, and have a little more control of things. You could always find out if she likes certain activities more than others, like perhaps she likes playing mini golf. So arrange to go play mini golf with her, and doing something instead of just sitting around will let you not have to worry too much about coming across as shy.

Good luck with your relationship with her!

[WindAndWater]

People also like it when you're straight forward with them. Since you're comfortable with talking to her over MSN, simply tell her that you're worried that when you meet in person you'll be overly shy and she won't like you. Chances are, she's probably feeling the same way (man this has happened a *lot* with me). Even if she's not shy, and you warn her that you might be in person, she'll understand and give you time time you need to open up.

Good luck.

[Nani Cheri]

I have to say I was very shy first time meeting some one I don''t know that well. But if you want to make an impression on her, just act like you know her for 10 years!! I do that. I just talk to people like I know them my whole life! It really works. I just imagine what I would ask or say my friends at a point. people you just met, or don't know much about, appreciate it when you act like you know them for a long while. Basically its just about being yourself... If she really doesn't like you for who you are you will notice after a while, but thats mostly not the case. Most people like people who are just being themselves.

stop blowing appointments off. she will think you don't want to get to know her, or she ll just think you are a coward.

[Goosestaf]

k thanks for like the input ppl,
jus see'in her at the moment i spose.
jus a bit gutted , coz were havi nsum good fun with each ova now, BUT university finsihed in like 3 weeks and then its like 3 months before start of nxt year. . . . and we dont exatly live close

so a bit lame really, but oh well.. . . . jus not gotta get attatched. . . . then i wont miss her and wont care if thigns arnt the same when we come back.

oh well. . . . u win some and ya loose sum. . .

[iwuvcookies]

Act like you know them. lol. that's the best advice ever. Yeh it just proves your confortable and not shy or your mentally ill. Can't be both now.

I would say make up some topics to talk about. Like before meeting her. Just some. But the rest just adlib and talk to her. Go with the flow. I get what you mean about going to the bar or something. Because you might be tempted to kiss or whatever or she is. you never know.

[iGuest]

meeting a girlMeeting Someone For First Time

I am going to meet a girl in a couple of days and its my first time meeting her.And I am new to this things about girls I am now getting intrested in girls and this is this first girl I am going to hang out with for the first time.

So please help me by giving me some ideas on what I should talk about.

Thank you very much your co-operation will be much appriciated 

-reply by Leslie

[tara]

meeting with someone for the time is a really a good experience as we don't know about the person.but a after a few talk we come to know some thing about them. we have to true from our hearts it means to entertain others for a minute is not a good thing what you feel after meeting him or her please tell her or him because every one have any kind of personality which may liked by some other.

[Xarex]

When meeting someone for the first time, you should just be yourself. You don't really have to try to impress the other person. In fact, they can often sense it when you do. You want things to be natural, laid back, and comfortable. Some of your habits you may have to hold off on for a second or third date, but let him or her see the real you, because this is the person they are going to like. If you act like someone else, than that's the person they will like and it just won't work out eventually. But confidence works to win both men and women and the majority can definitely sense whether someone is comfortable in their own skin or not. Don't worry if things don't go well or if you don't hit it off. Sometimes things aren't meant to be. Very hard for some people, including me, to really see this and understand it. But all things do happen for a reason. At least, I keep telling myself that because it helps me sleep at night! But eventually, you do find that person who will like everything about you, even your flaws.

A good movie to watch is actually Hitch which touches on so many great points.