27 replies to this topic

[iGuest]

I'm going through the exact same thing I don't want to lose my girlfriend because shes amazing but for some weird reason I'm losing interest.

help!

-eric

[hexbreaker]

A lot of times people lose interest in other people because they are used to each other being there, know everything about one another, etc.
Basically, if I understand this right, the fire died out.

It might be a temporary thing, or it might be a permanent thing. I've seen this happen a number of times because the two didn't hang out as much, or didn't do something they always used to, or just some oddity like that.

Just remember: the fact that you were interested in her, not the act of courtship (which is typically the exciting part of relationships, or lack thereof, that people crave), and you were with her for a long time. A lot of times we become numb and don't notice the feelings that were there a long time ago.

Obviously, you have spent some time thinking about this issue, and you alone might actually know if you still love her or not. Without making excuses or trying to change your own mind by finding counter-evidence, it might a very clear 'yes' or 'no'. Sometimes I'd be together with someone I really liked, and knew that it would never last, but I'd try to convince myself otherwise, and that just leads to a huge mess.

Another thing is, love is over-romanticized. There are people you love, and there are people that you are in love with. But that doesn't mean that you can't live without the person you're in love with, or you would recognize them in a crowd of clones or if they looked very different. Love is something you have to contribute to, don't expect it to just come easy.

[sweet_princess]

Losing interest? Its like me with my friends at school, sometimes if I hang around with one too much, he/she begin to bore me out. But I garantee 99.999% of the time, I start to miss him/her after a while. I realise that they were special and just because my brain got bored of seeing the same thing everyday, it doesn't mean my heart did aswell. Be careful about what you decide to do with your girlfriend. Because if you leave her, then could be good but what if you want her back?

[iGuest]

same issue
Losing Interest

I'm going through the same thing. Her parents are very strict and we see each other only 2 times a week and usually either with her family or she is allowed out for an hour or 2. This is very frustrating because it is hard to build a relationship without seeing the person. Our phone conversations are getting dull and even when she is allowed to go out, we don't have enough time to really do anything new and exciting.
Any ideas on how to get the phone going a little better?

[Reekun]

Damn man, It sounds like you're old and have experience with relationships. As for me, I'm in my first relationship in high school and getting ripped from my girlfriend would absolutely tear my world. I can't convince you try and stay with her, because my dad lost interest in my mom and it became terrible..

They got divorced when I was 5 and it totally shattered my world. "Where's daddy??" and my mom was left a blubbering mass of a person that began to hear voices and all sorts of evil *BLEEP* started happening to my family.

ADVICE:
Stay with her and try to spice it back up again, but don't get married until you're sure you're willing to spend 50 years+ with her. It kills the children to have divorced parents. Don't do that to your kids.

[iGuest]

same thing
Losing Interest

Replying to iGuest

Hey folks

Seems like a lot of us are in the same boat here eh! I have just been through the same thing with my partner of 18 months.



If there are some girls on here then I would really like your input on this



I think my partner is in the situation where the fire has turned to embers as shes puts it. I don't know whether she is expecting for everything to be so passionate again. She took time out to herself over a week ago and went and stayed at her friends house then came back to me on the saturday and said she still loved me. I have spoken to her friends to understand what some of the problems are an think I know have an understanding. We are due to really talk this weekend and I have booked some time in with a counsellor next week so we are going to learn how to communicate better as I think a lot of these issues have come about cos she hasnt really been talking to me and let it build up. I am hoping that the counsellor will give us the ability to really get things in the open and hoping that once she does those things that she feels some release within herself and some happiness when she looks at me again as I can feel her eyes dying already after only bein back three or four days. Am I realistic to think that she will feel those things after talking?



Sorry to hijack the post, but it seems we are all on the same tact here. But I definetely found some of the things on her useful, so keep your fingers crossed for me this weekend !



-reply by Prawn

[iGuest]

so where is he?Losing Interest

I don't know,its just the same issues about you guys and me,were on our1 year now,many things happend before,and even walls comes up,it willAlways tear down,but now its diffrent,I don't know,after last sem,he gotFailing grades and start to heat things up with his studies,I cantBlame him,he needs to study,but each and every month comes,I'm feelingSo far away from him,now we see each other only 2 times a week,compareBefore,I remember that he used to call me or used to talk to me on thePhone every night,until we became sleepy,but now,he'll just waste hisFree time on chatting with friends and playing computer games,I don'tKnow if he found another girl to fullfill his void,but I don't seem toKnow what he feels,everyday I see him as a prince coming up to myBalcony and wait for me,but I guess after reading so much of this,I'mWaking for the reality,I really should look in to the mirror and seeMyself that,I'm falling for thorns,nearly dying,half of my life I spentFor this guy,it sucks for me to lose him,but I have to face the truthThat when the butterfly needs to fly,I guess I need to say goodbye..

-reply by girlfriend