12 replies to this topic

[guangdian]

Today,premarital sex is commonplace.Eventually,I've found a girl to say
farewell to my lonely single life.In order to make sure that she would not
leave me,I asked for her first night,despairly,she refused me .She said that
to her it can be acceptable ,however if her parents know that they would beat
her to death,moreover it is a laspe to her future husband.To my part,if I do
not have a try on the sex with her how could I know she loves me really or not
and how could i know whether our marriage life would be harmonious or
not.Recently,i have been thinking of this problem again and again. I am afraid
I have stepped into another troublesome
situation.
Any friend could give any
advice?????????????????????????????????????????????

[Zenchi]

I would hold out on it. I really respect her for telling you that, though. How can you tell if she really loves you.. ponder this instead, how can you tell that you really love her?

It may seem great at the moment, but think it over. Okay?

[rvovk]

Oke m8, just take it easy here, you can even notice if she really loves you without sex. Just have great time with her, hanging out. Well to be honest, don't even know how old are you. So these things have to be taken into an account also. Sometimes just sex is like food without any spice, making love is something completly different.

[spawn_syxx9]

If you have to have sex with her to tell if your marriage life would be harmonious or not, then I think you really need to put your priorities in a perspective or find a girl who will have sex with you right off the bat. Granted I am not bashing you man. I have never had a date where I didn't end up having sex with the girl.

But it would be stupid of me to tell you that with that kind of personality that you would do well to stay with her.
If you are strong enough to not have sex with her and can wait, then you'll know in your heart that you truly love you and I'd give you all the kudos in the world man.

But it is about you too. If you can't have a sexless relationship then don't trip about this. Just say hey I'm sorry but we won't work out. It may sond *BLEEP*ed up, but who the *BLEEP* cares what other people think about you. You care about her enough to even ask so I am trying to say hey.. wait for her because if you care this much about her now then you'll love it when you are able to wait. But I am not going to sugar coat it and lie to you about human nature.

[ljiljana]

There are so many thinks about that. The most of girls like sex and want it to have with boys. But they no want any words about that. That is something what will coming with passion without any word, in quiet, in one minute. Don't talk about love, about matrimony, about sex also. The most important is a view, the color of voice, a smile, some frendly conversation... And after... nothing... maybe, one kiss in hande. If wouldn't be much enthusiazm, relation can succeed.

[Kirralouise]

im not gunna lecture ya on the evils of sex outside marriage, but ya have to see it from ya girls point of veiw. when girls are growing up they r told sex is dirty and bad, and that if you have sex your a bad girl. you cant judge her love for you on if she sleeps with you, that isnt fair. fear is a HUGE infulence on a girl, fear of her parents, of getting hurt, of ruining her reputaion, and fear of being used. and maybe shes just not ready. there r 60 year old virgins, that have been married since they were 20, but they have been brought up with a negative veiw of sex, and after their wedding night, they couldnt sleep with their husbands and they havnt been able to have sex since then, because of their deep fear of sex. so ya not the worst off in the world, and annyway, what does sex matter, just for now, try and appreciate your girl in a deeper leavel, so that u understand her, and can see why she acts the way she does.
i really respect your girlsfriend for saying no, shes a lot stronger than so many girls, who will say yes jst so they dont get dumped, and i really respect you for staying with her. it proves you really do care.

[rvovk]

Okey, I guess things aren't that bad, m8. I have one more thing to say which is very important for me. Talk with her, lot of times if needed. If you two won't have communication, every thing can be doomed.

[Becca]

I'm not even old enough to have sex yet.

[grrlfromoz]

Seems to me, some people like to use sex as a tool for a power-play, either to keep someone around or just to see if they can conquer the situation. I believe sex should be about love - not to have to prove it or to hold onto it - but a physical manifestation of the completeness you feel in someone emotionally. Like Kirralouise said, fear can be a powerful motivator if sex is introduced wrongly. It sort of reminds me of 1 John 4:18...

"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love."

[spawn_syxx9]

Bexa, on Nov 7 2004, 04:16 AM, said:

I'm not even old enough to have sex yet.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

oO um actually I had sex for the first time at your age Bexa you're not young.

Girls in some places learn to have sex starting at age 10.