11 replies to this topic

[missy2205]

wow your situation is not one i would like to be in because its very difficult to be in your shoes. I wish there was an easy fix for the situation you have but i doubt that very much.

We need to take into account that there are two points of view one being yours and the other being that of your cousins combined we will assume in this case that they have the same problem even though they may have completely separate problems which are completely unrelated.

At this point we have already established the fact that their actions are affecting you negatively and you are worried about your cousins hence the reason you wrote on these forums. So to kick it of I’d say let me first try and give my two cents of advice on how you can handle this bit of the equation. I think your situation is hard and needs a shoulder to cry on because right now you fill like its your fault that your cousins ct themselves and bleed just to feel better but its not your fault its only that you have the soft heart that pains and feels sorry for them. I know they say live me alone and all that but your cousins know that you worry and stress about them hence they make all the drama before they lock themselves in the bath room and cut. I will give you and example but it may be just a long shot.

Remember when you were younger and were not allowed alcohol or had sex the first time and didn’t want anyone to find out you would do all your things in private trying hard to make sure no one ever finds out. When your first boyfriend broke up with you and you hurt inside so much but couldn’t tell anyone at home because you were said to be too young to be seeing boys you did everything privately save for close friends you trusted and told but you basically cold have got pregnant and had an abortion and bled in the toilet and made sure it was all kept hush hush so mother and daddy would never hear a thing that’s how well you made sure things were under wraps. When your cousins want to cut they can go in the bath and ct away all they want with out screaming and crying loudly they can go there lock door ct away and come out bleeding or bandaged wearing a jumper and no one would know but they make a scene to get attention and they enjoy that pleading and begging you do when they lock the door and you are imagining the worst may have happened they enjoy screaming leave me the f alone because that’s their convincer that they don’t want attention. While they may be actually cutting and getting endorphins in the brain which make them high, they also enjoy riding the wave of pity they get with the cutting sometimes they start of not cutting but when they first see the pity they get when people see blood they know they have to push the envelope further because after few times people start to realise they are bluffing so they start cutting for real and after a while people realise they are only doing light cuts and don’t give that much sympathy to them so the cuts get deeper for the same sympathy they used to get. Now what they don’t realise is that they are causing you trauma having to witness this and see the blood and all that it must haunt you especially because you don’t know the psychology behind it all. You fear they will bleed to death and as they sit there riding high on cutting you hear silence and panic fearing the worst or wondering if they may have bled to death in the bathroom.

My advice to you is simple but hard to implement. I say ignore them when they throw their tantrums don’t check up on them when they lock themselves in the bath. Just ignore their antics and say things like if they cry ask what’s wrong and if they get all hysterical say do you want me to leave you alone and if they say yes, just get up and leave and go watch TV or go on the internet or listen to your iPod or use the iPod or text friends just do anything that’s not entertain them. If they say I’m going to slice and dice myself just say that’s cool if it makes you feel better and if you can do us all a favour and tell a phone with you incase you are bleeding to death by mistake you can ring your self 911 case I don’t really want to have to call the ambulance or visit any self harming person in hospital let alone find their dead body in the bath. Don’t say this angrily just say it calmly because shouting will only make them feel they are getting attention. Just blank them even if they slice and bleed everywhere just cold shoulder them and show non tolerance to their behaviour case at the end of the day you do more harm by giving an attention seeker attention than by ignoring them. Yet while there is a chance they may change for the better chances are you are going to be affected negatively because of the things you will see because you know they are wrong. And because you will worry night after night wondering why they are being stupid yet they are sleeping and enjoying messing your life and mind.

Your Cousins are being silly they are trying to get attention what they don't realise is that you have feelings. I its the end know they may have a problem that is affecting them. I wish there was an easy way for them. But at the moment the best can hope for is that they have a rude awakening.

Someone needs to sit them down and talk to them. I hope that the person that speaks to them is not A parent or teacher.

It would be easier if that person is a professional or someone that has been 1 that situation before. Someone they can identify with. Someone who will not talk down to them but explain things from personal experience. Probably someone who knows the danger of using a knife or a razor to cut yourself. They need to become aware of the danger to their health and the damage they are doing to their skin I hope one day they learnThat they are all be hurting themselves. Can you not introduce your Cousins to this website so they can ask questions and get help. I feel sorry for them and I hope they get some help.

We are here to help them if they can only ask, they will get the help they need.

This website will hopefully give them an understanding of what been going through from people that have been in this situation. of people around the world have been in their shoes. So it will not be Hard to find someone who understands what's the problem and how to deal with the situation. I know it's hard but, trust me there is a way.

A friend of mine once have the same problem and now he's in a professional hospital and they're helping him.

[anwiii]

how can this resurface after 4 years? people who cut DEFINATELY need help. there is no question about it. it's not that they want to draw attention to themselves. a lot of them cut in places where the cuts can be hidden by clothing. these people suffer from deperession. they feel empty, and any little thing can trigger the cutting. why do they do it? because they feel dead inside. they want to feel alive. they want to feel SOMETHING when all they feel is emptiness for one reason of another. they aren't doing it to kill themselves either. but they do need help. they need meds to help with the chemical imbalances. unfortunately, a lot of the meds out there work for some and don't work for others. that's why doctors will always change prescriptions on their patients. and some you have to be really carefull about because they don't make you feel anything. something cutters will hate. some will just make you feel more empty. so even meds might not work.

but if ya know a cutter, best thing to do is try to get them to talk to ya and listen and encourage them to do the things that might be able to allow them to live happier lives

also, when you are talking about things that can so easily trigger cutting, you are talking about them having an anxiety disorder too. sometimes just trying to control the anxiety helps rather than concentrate on the depression at first. they should never be in an environment that will make them anxious