9 replies to this topic

[Aaron J.]

Ok, not that long ago i was in a serious relationship with a girl that i feel in love with. We were together of a little over a year and we basically spent almost all or time together and we really feel in love with each other cause i was there for her and she was there for me. And one night we got into a real bad arugment and we broke up and i thought after a few hours we were going to get back together like always but we didnt and the next day i recevied a fone call from her cousin telling me she had cheated on me and i never know and when i first heard this i just had a feeling that it all was true so i moved on with my life and now i have meet someone new and i'm really trying to move on with my life right now cause the one thats in my life right now i'm starting to love but the thing is i'm really trying not to but i keep pushing her away cause i'm kinda scared what do i do to fix this

[Saint_Michael]

The answer is simple your ended a relationship on bad terms with alot of qustions about it and it's weighing heavily on your mind and you feel guilty about it as welll. Best thing to do is talk to your ex to fix the problem between you and no that doesn't mean having make up sex or you will be having another problem.

Just talk to you ex calmly and sort everything out once you do this, the pain that you feel will go away to an extent.

[TypoMage]

Ok first of all most relationships do not last. If you are going to love someone make sure you are going to love them forever. Or you are in trouble. So hope that goes on ok. Good luck.

[savge17]

Try to look foward at someone who you beleive has more faith in you. There is always other fish in the see, and you will find another that suits your needs. So hey! dont sweat it! And I hope everyhting goes smoothly.

[True2Earn]

How do you move on to the next relationship? In a word, slowly. Relationships need to be built on a solid and stable foundation. If the foundation is weak then it will eventually crumble. Some (but by no means all) of the most important (if not critrical) aspects of a relationship is honesty, faithfulness, openness, forgiveness and compassion. If these are not present then you may find yorself on the rocky shores of destruction.

[lawmatchmaker]

Aaron J., on Aug 14 2006, 01:55 PM, said:

Ok, not that long ago i was in a serious relationship with a girl that i feel in love with. We were together of a little over a year and we basically spent almost all or time together and we really feel in love with each other cause i was there for her and she was there for me. And one night we got into a real bad arugment and we broke up and i thought after a few hours we were going to get back together like always but we didnt and the next day i recevied a fone call from her cousin telling me she had cheated on me and i never know and when i first heard this i just had a feeling that it all was true so i moved on with my life and now i have meet someone new and i'm really trying to move on with my life right now cause the one thats in my life right now i'm starting to love but the thing is i'm really trying not to but i keep pushing her away cause i'm kinda scared what do i do to fix this

Hey Aaron,

I think that basically you should realise that your current gf and the ex are 2 different people and you should give her her chance. She was not the one who cheated on you and should not suffer as a result of a bad experience you had with someoneelse. This is also to give yourself another chance. Love is difficult to find for everyone, and if you have a shot at it, you really should not waste it. Your previous gf was silly to have blown her chance withyou, after all, name me any couple who doesn't fight occasionally, its normal. Also you should expect never to have fights with your current gf as well, its all part and parcel of life. Important thing is at the end of the day you realise that you love her.

[iGuest]

How do i move on?
How Do I Move On To Next Relationship?

I have been with my girl for about two years. We built a lovely relationship and I was very happy. Recently something has gone in her. She changed over night. She started getting physical and manipulative. We have broken up about 3 times in the last 2 months. It has been very unstable. Today I decided to let go once and for all but I feel so guilty for moving on. I built an immense dependency on her and the idea that things were once near perfect hurts me so bad. I wish a miracle would happen but it doesn't and I have to be realistic. I just need some words of advice so I can move on and live a life in peace. Getting back with her is not an option for me anymore; it has corroded badly. If anyone can please give me some reassuring words I will highly appreciate it.

-question by Ronnie

[iGuest]

Answer to How Do I Move On To Next Relationship?How Do I Move On To Next Relationship?

I have recently gotten out of a 2 yr relationship. We both quit using drugs and started working a 12 step program.We were progressing at different rates, and as I was working on myself, she was remaining stagnant.We started to grow apart. Shestarted to show a lot of insecurity in the relationship. Her previous relationship was really bad, the partner had cheated like 100 times. Litereally.So when she started acting out at me for talking to my old friends from high school, it bothered me. Then she tried to say I was cheating on her with an old friend. And then she wouldnt listen to me anddecided that we were better off apart. Heres the kicker, I've been told that its all about recognising ONES OWN PART in the breakup. Theres always a lot of questions. At first I thought "this is my fault. If I wouldnt have talked to them, we wouldnt have split" but then I realized that it wasnt MY fault. It was her insecurities from her previous relationship. I could have been more sensitive to them and not spoken with them around her. But even that would look worse to her (like I was hiding something) so its been pointed out that the only way id have been able to save that relationship would be to drop my old friends. In a healthy relationship, you don't have to completely drop friends. So I was in an unhealthy relationship anyways. 

 So my advice would be to sort out what was your part, make amends if necessary, then move on. Go hang out with your friends (don't ISOLATE) itll just depress you. And don't try to jump into another relationship until you've sorted thru al the emotional baggage from the recent relationship (or you're just gunna end up like me and my ex)

Also, ina relationship, there is no right and wrong. There is HEALTHY and UNHEALTHY

-reply by MovedOn

[iGuest]

Me and my boyfriend have been going out for 7 months we had our ups and downs but he was different everyday, one day it woudl seem liek he really likes me and the next day it seems like he was having second thoughts. I always had a feeling he was cheating on me and I was right. I always told him I think we shouldnt be together anymore because when I get mad I say things I don't mean. I guess it got to him and he just officailly ended it. It seems like he doesnt even care anymore I moved on to a better guy and he moved on but hes still doesnt have a girl not that I know of. I know I will always have feelings for him and I just don't know how to get him out of my head because I know I will always be his girl

[mandla]

you dont.

moving on to a new relationship while still stuck on the opast is never a good idea cause you start to campare and the truth is the past will win especially because you dont see any wrong in the past. You choose to conveniently forget the mistakes that the past did simplay a case of better the devil you know if you know what I mean.

if i was in your shoes I'd concentrate on getting back on my two feet and not being dependent on the ex seeing as you literally spent every moment together there is a dependedncy to share lifes moments with the past meaning if you moved on it would only be expected that she become the replacement which means she has to fill in the gap that was the ex. This means you will see her as the clone of the ex and expect the exs actions from her so say the ex liked football or fooling about in the park you'd expect the new one to do just that and to me thats just not fair on the new partner because you not loving them or iving them a chance to be them you expecting them to becaome the ex and losse their own traits and character to fulfill your broken heart.

I say take time to heal and make sure you get back completely to your feet and then you can open your heart to someone new. Not to fill the void left by the ex but so they too can share special moments in your life which will become your own.