34 replies to this topic

[JasperIk]

I have this friend i've known since about 7th grade, and we have drifted apart off and on since then. But everytime i see him, or talk to him i feel really happy. Not a normal, oh this person is funny and cool, they make me laugh therefore im happy, kind of way. More like, this person makes everything seem to be okay, and perfect when im with them kind of happy. There is two problems with that. One, being he is straight and has NO idea i even have feelings for him. The other, I'm already seeing a great guy. I know that I could never have my friend, but i feel guilty that im with my boyfriend [who i really do like a lot, don't get me wrong, he is great and he does make me feel happy, but it just isnt the same] but like someone so much more. Like what do i do, break up with my boyfriend, and end up alone? Or stay with my boyfriend and hope that the feelings for my friend will surpass. I don't want to lose my friendship with my friend [like, have to end our friendship, because of my feelings , and/or because he finds out about them] and i don't want to lose my relationship with my boyfriend.

[shadowx]

tough situation, normally i would say you should get rid of your boyfriend because its not right to almost be in love with someone else if you have a partner but as you know you cant be with the other guy then you should stay with your boyfriend, i think as long as you dont act on your feelings then its not really a problem.

[husker]

I'm not really sure what to do. I would probably cautiously see if your friend likes you. If he says no, you still have your other boyfriend, but if he says yes, you can dump your other one. It really up to you who you would rather be with.

[killerbichon]

If you are considering your friend as a candidate for the role of new boyfriend, you apparently don't like your old one well enough to keep them. Being alone is better than jerking someone around just so you have a boyfriend. It will also look better if you end your relationship with your existing boyfriend, wait a little while, and then see if your friend is up for a more serieous relationship.

[sweet_princess]

Heya,
Don't leave your man for some other guy, if he says no then you're going to be left with a broken heart and the worst thing is that you're going to be left alone. So don't take a risk like that...After all it is better to be safe then sorry...

If you think that maybe you and your boyfriend aren't soul-mates and you think maybe you're sure that your friend is you soul mate then,
If you love something, then let it go. If it comes back, then that's how you know.

Good luck hun

[christynokc]

Thats a messed up situation, but honestly if you dont want to be with your current boyfriend I wouldnt stay, reguardless on whether or not the other guy likes you. Its not fair to your boyfriend to be used as a convienience just because you want a boyfriend. It sucks being alone, but it sucks even worse to be with someone and take advantage of their feelings and emotions towards you. Dont let this ruin a good thing. But also dont play with peoples emotions. Carma is a beeyatch, and she comes around ten fold..

[keri-j]

Whatever you do, my advice is BE CAREFUL. Just being around this guy would be better than not seeing him at all. Life can go from great to crap very quick, and if you're not careful you'll lose both of them.

"Why are all the cute guys straight?" 'Pride!

[quakesand]

My advice is, be with the one you loved...
tell the other guy that you are sorry and you don't like him, tell him you can't force yourself..
Just follow your heart, feel sorry for him and tell him that you must choose someone,
someone that you really have feelings with.

good luck on that.

[iGuest]

"never leave the one you love for the one you like, because the one you like will leave you for the one they love."

-cambria

[iGuest]

I really agree with killerbichon. It sounds like you just have a boyfriend because well... you want one. If you really don't love him, then maybe you break it off. I bet that if your boyfriend liked someone else more, you wouldn't be very happy with it, so stop thinking about just your feelings and start thinking about everyone elses. You don't have to tell anyone you like this friend more and ruin it with them, but trust me, if hes a real friend, he won't let your feelings come between them and if not, then hes not a true friend.

good luck, but remember the world doesn't revolve around you...

-mickey-v

[tential]

killerbichon, on Sep 9 2006, 12:39 PM, said:

If you are considering your friend as a candidate for the role of new boyfriend, you apparently don't like your old one well enough to keep them. Being alone is better than jerking someone around just so you have a boyfriend. It will also look better if you end your relationship with your existing boyfriend, wait a little while, and then see if your friend is up for a more serieous relationship.

I have to agree with killerbichon. I would hate to be jerked around only to find out that the person I care about is looking into other guys. If you are doing that it is pretty obvious that you don't like your current boyfriend enough to keep him. You should end it with him if you feel like this because, at least to me, it seems like you want him around to have someone to be with yet don't mind looking around for other men. You don't want your current boyfriend to think you are cheating on him and make things harder for yourself than they already are if you like someone else.

[Archangel_Baw]

Just chalk it up to soul-food. That feeling of total bliss when you are with a kindred or like-minded person. It feeds your soul to be with your friend and I think maybe you might have mistaken true friendship with romance. That's not to say your feelings for him are not genuine, but why ruin a great thing.

[iGuest]

I have a boyfriend,and i like someone else.
I Like Someone Else

I have a boyfreid =) I've fancied him since year 7. And like know I'm going out with him. But I was talking to this boy and he's really nice my friends know but like I don't know what to do we always plan too meet in town msn phone texting eachother. And like he's just like me into the same sorta stuff and my boyfriend and I were quiet different from eaother, I don't want to hurt him, but I don't want to split up with him. And my boyfriend gets REALLY jelous if I hang around with some boys that are just my friends, were really close but so am I with this other boy. I have no idea what to do!?!

-Meow

[iGuest]

i have a boyfriend,but i like his bestfriend.
I Like Someone Else

Ive been going out with my boyfriend for about 9 months now,and I really feel that he COULD be the one,but since I met his friend I really haven't been sure.

Lets say his friends name is "craig",I met "craig" about 3 months after being with my current bf. I liked him a lot since then,and my boyfriend found out, and has been trying to prevent me from seeing or talking with him. Even though I like him more than a friend,hes a great friend too. My bf gets jealous if I hang with other guys,or if I hang with girls that may introduce me to other guys,and he thinks that I'm jealous too much,when hes the one that makes it a problem because he has such a flirty way of joking around,its really aggravating.

His friend "craig" is sweet,and nice and really funny,and in a relationship he can be serious about things and act like a true boyfriend.I know this because i've seen how him and his ex were. My current bf cheated on girls in the past,and if I'm trying to be serious with him about something,he'll change it into a joke.

My friends don't like him for all the pain hes put me through and all the crying i've done. I love him,but I cant handle the pain now,and I can just imagine if its bad now,I know its going to be worse in the future. What do I DO??!

-reply by kate

[iGuest]

Replying to JasperIk

I have this same problem. I have a boyfriend but I have feelings for one of my friends that I know. I know that he has the same feelings because he told me so. I really do love my boyfriend, but my heart says one thing and my mind says something else and it sucks.

I wish I could tell you what to do but I bet there are other people that could tell you what todo but I can't I'm sorry

-reply by Rachelle

[sonesay]

I would say figure out who you want to be with more and if its worth the risk of losing your current mate then go for it. But before you do that make sure you are certain that you do want to be with them and its not just a temporary feeling. Try and think about your current partners feelings too not just your own. You owe them the truth and the longer you keep this a secret the longer your relationship will suffer. If its not working out then end it and stop wasting other peoples time. Being with someone and having stronger feelings for another person is just wrong and unfair to your partner.

[nol]

Mmmmm gotta love young love ey? Anyways, what I would do (if i was in this situation, and im going out with a girl, etc etc) I would definatly go up to your boyfriend and say you just want to be friends, and that you like somebody else now, and it wouldn't be fair to go out with you anymore because I like this other guy. No matter how you do it, it'll hurt him, I'm definatly not gonna lie. However, if you say it this way, half of the guys will definatly stay friends with you even if you were going out with him before, itll take a couple weeks, or months, but itll happen better then saying its over. Also, tell your friend you like this this way AFTER you break up with your boyfriend, we don't wanna look like a little....if you know what I mean do we? So ya, basically, thats the best way to handle it. If you stay going out with your boyfriend you WILL regret it

[dcskataboy]

I think you should try and find out if your friend feels the same way about you then if he does you could maybe just break up with your boyfreind or you could talk about it with your boyfreind and explain to him that you have feelings for someone else, and that when your around that other person you feel happy and when your around him you dont feel that way. if a girl was to break up with me that would be the way i would want them to.

[iGuest]

Yeah I'm in the same situation well I would just follow your heart and and I no your prolly confused and don't no what to do but well I would prolly choose which one that made me laugh and which one makes me happy...

-reply by lexas

[iGuest]

replying to jasperIk
I Like Someone Else

I'm in the exact same situation too. I hate it. I have no idea what to do I've read the other advise and I tell you what I don't know how to break it to my boyfriend. Good Luck :(

LM-x

-reply by LM-x

[iGuest]

I'm in the same situation right now too.
I just don't know what to do!
I've only been with my bf for 1 month, I know its not long. & I've never had a bf b4 so this is my 1st one.
But I also really like my guy best friend, I've known him since 7th grade.
I've told him I've liked him b4 but idk he says he doesnt. But his signs say diffrently.
I don't know what to do.
I told my bf about how I used to like my guy friend though.
Should I dump my bf and be single again?
Or what?
Please let me know, I've been reading stuff like this and I'm still not sure what I'm going to do, but I know what I should do...But like almost every one in here I can't make a desision.

-reply by lucky?

[OHFIENA]

Omg. you're in a dilemma.
If you love your boyfriend,
You should explain to him.
Altho he will get angry with you,
assure him that you still love him.

tell him that you will get over your friend.
spent more time with your boyfriend.

if you think that you like your friend more,
then tell your friend.
if he rejects you, you still fall on to your boyfriend.

get this straight into your head.
just be faithful to your boyfriend.

[iGuest]

I have been in a relationship with a wonderful guy for the past 2 years & 4 months now. We've had our ups & downs, but always have worked through them without ever breaking up to do so. I know he loves me, & I love him.. But things have been rocky between us lately. We're attending different colleges at the moment & also both have jobs, so we barely have any time to see each other.. But we've made it work so far.

The dilemma comes in with a guy I've met away at school.
He's not the typical guy I'd be interested in. I usually go
For the quiet guys to mirror my own personality, but there's
Something about his vibrant, outgoing spirit that makes me feel
So happy when I'm around him. It would be one thing if I just had
A crush that he wasn't aware of, but he likes me... A lot. He's always
Texting me & talking to me in class. We go to lunch together during the
Week sometimes, & I feel horrible for looking forward to spending time
With him during the week! It's gotten to the point where we talk on the
Phone on the weekends when I'm not working or with my boyfriend.. & he
Says that if I broke up with my boyfriend I wouldn't regret it.. But I
Just don't know!

I'm a very cautious person; I don't just jump into uncharted waters,
But there's something about this guy that makes me feel like I should
Live a little & see what else is out there.

I love my boyfriend, I really do. He treats me like a princess, &
I'm scared that if I let him go he won't take me back & I'll regret it.
I have NO reason to want anyone else, but here I am.. Crying out for
Someone to help me with this situation.

Please, any advice will be greatly appreciated!

-reply by Confused_in_Carolina

[iGuest]

I like someone.. who
I Like Someone Else

I have been in a relationship with a wonderful guy for the past
2 years & 4 months now. We've had our ups & downs, but always have
Worked through them without ever breaking up to do so. I know he loves
Me, & I love him.. But things have been rocky between us lately. We're
Attending different colleges at the moment & also both have jobs, so we
Barely have any time to see each other.. But we've made it work so far.

The dilemma comes in with a guy I've met away at school.
He's not the typical guy I'd be interested in. I usually go
For the quiet guys to mirror my own personality, but there's
Something about his vibrant, outgoing spirit that makes me feel
So happy when I'm around him. It would be one thing if I just had
A crush that he wasn't aware of, but he likes me... A lot. He's always
Texting me & talking to me in class. We go to lunch together during the
Week sometimes, & I feel horrible for looking forward to spending time
With him during the week! It's gotten to the point where we talk on the
Phone on the weekends when I'm not working or with my boyfriend.. & he
Says that if I broke up with my boyfriend I wouldn't regret it.. But I
Just don't know!

I'm a very cautious person; I don't just jump into uncharted waters,
But there's something about this guy that makes me feel like I should
Live a little & see what else is out there.

I love my boyfriend, I really do. He treats me like a princess, &
I'm scared that if I let him go he won't take me back & I'll regret it.
I have NO reason to want anyone else, but here I am.. Crying out for
Someone to help me with this situation.

Please, any advice will be greatly appreciated!

-reply by Confused_in_Carolina

[iGuest]

I know how you feel. Its like when your with your boyfriend your happy at the time and really care for him but in the back of your head your thinking about the other guy. Ive liked my friend who Ive worked with for quite awhile and now hes single and I'm not. When I'm with him he makes me happy and I get this feeing deep down inside.
I feel bad for liking him and I don't want to loose what I have with my boyfriend, but at the same time I just don't get that spark like I do when I'm with my friend.
I think its the feeling that you know you cant like him that attracts you to him more. One hes your friend and you don't want to cause any problems between you and two you don't want to hurt your boyfriend.
At the end of the day youve got to folow your heart. Think t it from another point of view and not your own. Are you willing to throw away what you have with your boyfriend? What if you loose your friend? But on the other hand if you don't take a chance you will never know. I'm sure you will make the right decision just don't rush into things. X

-reply by Jess_x