20 replies to this topic

[kiley and damien]

I've known my boyfriend for almost 3 years. Since we were freshman in high school. We were partnered together in our biology class because we both didn't have partners. We got married and made a baby. I love how we met. We had the ugliest baby. Red hair, freckles, slanted eyes... I'm sure some of you have done this project before.. anyway..

My boyfriend and i have been dating for only 2 (practically dating for about 6) months, but have had feelings for eachother for almost 3 years. 2 days ago my boyfriend announced to me online (before he was very nervous) that he has begun to slowly lose interest in me. He said he felt terrible and that it started two weeks ago. By the way we are very much in love. This is beyond love, i wouldn't be able to survive without him. I feel terrible. He also said he even cried, and he hasn't cried in about 10 years. It hit him hard and it's worrying us both. He has no control over it, and he says that it's not me, it's him. It sounds cliche but i guess it's true. We have been fighting in the past 2 weeks. Not constantly, but just bickering i guess. He says it has nothing to do with the fighting, but we should probably consider it. He tells me he hopes that this relationship will not end, because we both want to be together forever. But if some day he completely loses interest in me, then what?

I'm extremely worried and have been very depressed, i can't get it off my mind.

There have been other people on this site posting things about their boyfriend/girlfriend or them losing interest in their boyfriend/girlfriend.. and i just want to know if this is just a faze. We both hope it is... Or if it's just not meant to be?

By the way, we have so much in common. Our personalities are so similar. We like the same music, movies. We have the same point of view, we don't like the same things... anyways...

I NEED HELP.

[keri-j]

Hmm, I'm not sure if this is just an individual thing or what, but when I was in a particularly similar situation with a boy who I was very close to and vice versa, it ended horribly I'm not saying this is the case for you, you may just be going through a difficult phase in the relationship, but generally, (from what I know) this situation probably gonna go down from now on. I'd probably cut and run, but that's just me. My advice is to sit down with him (casually! don't be cold or formal) and talk about it, if this fails, or possibly before (depends on what you think best), find a suitable time (a calmer, lighter atmnosphere) seduce him, then again... that could be my dirty mind and belief that sex can solve almost any problem. But, talking's probably best. You need to find if there is a particular reason why he is losing interest, and if there is, try to correct it. Usually, there's nothing more you can do than try to get over it.
Whatever happens, I hope it's good

[ghostrider]

Perhaps your something bad or depressing happened to your boyfriend? I remember dating a girl named Leah a couple months ago and my depression worsened and I also lost interest in her. I think, like said above, the best thing to do would be to talk to him about it and try to figure out why.

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2 days ago my boyfriend announced to me online (before he was very nervous) that he has begun to slowly lose interest in me. He said he felt terrible and that it started two weeks ago.

I can't say that what he said is true, but when I was with Leah I told her the same thing and trully meant it.

I'm not quite sure whether this is just a faze or not, but it doesn't sound like it to me. and even if this does split you to apart it doesn't mean that you weren't meant to be. Some people should be together, like me and Leah, but just arent. I hope everything works out OK.

[kiley and damien]

ghostrider, on Oct 27 2006, 07:09 PM, said:

Perhaps your something bad or depressing happened to your boyfriend? I remember dating a girl named Leah a couple months ago and my depression worsened and I also lost interest in her. I think, like said above, the best thing to do would be to talk to him about it and try to figure out why.
I can't say that what he said is true, but when I was with Leah I told her the same thing and trully meant it.

I'm not quite sure whether this is just a faze or not, but it doesn't sound like it to me. and even if this does split you to apart it doesn't mean that you weren't meant to be. Some people should be together, like me and Leah, but just arent. I hope everything works out OK.

so you and leah are still together today?
tell me more about your story, from the beginning, i'm very interested.

[jlhaslip]

I am very sorry to hear about these recent difficulties you and the boyfriend are going though.
Not much I can do about it, except suggest that you seek some guidance and councelling from someone better suited than I am.
All I know is that relationships can be difficult during the down times, and they don't always feel as good as they once might have been. But there is always the hope that they can work out. With proper coaching and discussion, the outcome can be successful. (Often the service will be a 'not-for-charge' affair. Look in the local phone book.)
Find someone to counsel you and the boyfriend, please. For the child's sake if no other reason.

Best of Luck with it.

[midnightvamp]

I was talking with someone just today and we were sharing our feelings... this is a very new thing for me, so it's not really the same, but I thought I'd put it up here, because you never know... it just might make some sense.

Anyway, this guy and I noticed, like you have with your boyfriend, that we both are very similar people. We seem to think alike, and end up saying the same thing at the same time quite often. It was shocking at first, but I think that having someone that seemed so in tune with the person I am is one of the things that attracted me to him in the first place.

So, just out of the blue he asked me, what if things get stale, because we are too alike? This kind of through me for an emotional loop. I didn't want to think about things that way. I wondered if that was what he felt we had become? I was trying my best to be honest and put a nice thought into the mix, by reminding him that things for us though we notice the similarities, because there are so many of them, that I'm sure there are many ways in which we are different, we just don't seem to dwell on those points.

But still, the fact that he felt he could come out there and say that too me, meant he was willing to trust me with his feelings. He wanted my input and ideas about what I thought, and how to keep things from being repeated, and the same old stuff that never changes between us.

I'm really happy that he was willing to talk to me about this... because even if he was starting to feel this way (which I never did ask him, so I don't know for sure) it gave me hope that when there would be problems or obstacles for us to get past, that he would at least put some effort into resolving them with me, instead of just avoiding them all together and making things worse.

Like I said, this is different from your situation, but still in ways it's similar. I think you are very lucky that you have someone that is so open and honest that they are willing to tell you how they feel about you and your relationship. If he's willing to bring things like this up, it is my guess that he'd be more than willing to try and talk things out between the two of you to see if you both can come up with some way to make things better.

In the end, only time will tell what will happen, but you won't know unless you try, and since he was open and honest enough to bring the subject to light for you, to me, that shows that he wants to make this work, so I think the both of you still have a fighting chance.

[ink]

Before I get into this all deep, I have a question, is the part about the 'We had the ugliest baby' serious? ~_O Isn't it a bit insulting towards people who actually do have red hair, freckles or slanted eyes? =/

[kiley and damien]

ink, on Oct 28 2006, 10:54 AM, said:

Before I get into this all deep, I have a question, is the part about the 'We had the ugliest baby' serious? ~_O Isn't it a bit insulting towards people who actually do have red hair, freckles or slanted eyes? =/

Sorry i think some of you were misunderstanding.. ( ink and jlhaslip ) It was a project in biology class. I didn't actually concieve a child. We would flip a coin and that would tell us which genes that baby would get. We just found his outcome surprising because neither of us look like that at all.. and obviously that wasn't the point of the project.. and it's obvious that it won't look like either one of us.. anyways... that's neither here nor there.

Thank you midnightvamp for your input. It really means alot to me. And i thought, that because he was being so open and honest with me, we have a real chance of this working out. :]

[jlhaslip]

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We were partnered together in our biology class because we both didn't have partners. We got married and made a baby. I love how we met. We had the ugliest baby. Red hair, freckles, slanted eyes... I'm sure some of you have done this project before.. anyway..

So you aren't a single Mom attending High School? And the Baby might better looking with age, then? Okay with me.

[poland55]

I never had a girlfreind so i can't help you form my own expereiance. I heard that people should so something special. Mabey you should sent him choclate with roses or something creative.