11 replies to this topic

[sapphiresilver]

As a legally blind person who has used both a cane and a guide dog, I've noticed the different ways people treat people with disabilities.
When I was using my cane, people tended to ignore me. No one said hello. I think people just looked at the cane and didn't really see me. But with my dog, it's totally different. People say hello to me all the time. They recognise me, even if I'm not with my dog. They treat me like a person.
Now, what I want to know is, why do people treat people with disabilities differently? What do they think when they see someone in a wheelchair or with a cane? I'm still the same person, whether I've got my dog or a cane. It's just that with the dog I don't look blind. I move around more or less normally, whereas with the cane it's obvious I can't see well.
What is it about people with disabilities that makes people nervous?

[Plenoptic]

I don't have any disabilities so I wouldn't know the exact feeling. I personally ignore disabilities or try to at least unless it's really noticeable. People just stereotype others because they are different so they don't talk to them. There's also the idea of peer pressure, one friend says that person is weird and their friends might be pushed to believe the same thing and make it uncool to go talk to them. Of course not everyone does this but more and more probably do each day. I know I'm guilty of it myself sometimes, a lot of us are, some worse than others, it's just something that the world might not ever get rid of.

[JasperIk]

I treat most people the same, I really never say hi to anyone if I don't know them. You probably just look more pleasant with a dog. You know people who like dogs will come up to you, because with a dog it usually makes you look more friendly. Where as with a cane it might put them off for some reason, why I personally don't know but i am sure a cane is just less friendly looking than a dog.

But honestly, I dont really think its your disability i think its just how your situation presents itsself in other peoples minds.

[keri-j]

Hmm, I would think it would be because the dog is more of a friendly, happy thing whereas a stick shows the disability without the sugar coating of a nice, tail-wagging doggie. Anyway, my mum is in a wheelchair most of the time, so I do know about disablilty. I have to push her most places 'cos my dad is a.... Well, let's not go there. But basically, when I'm pushing her she never gets ignored.. neither do people come and say "hi" to her either... If she speaks to someone, they speak back. And I can't think why you would believe people are ignoring you unless you speak to them... I wouldn't say "hi" to a random person on the street...

Quote

Now, what I want to know is, why do people treat people with disabilities differently? What do they think when they see someone in a wheelchair or with a cane? I'm still the same person, whether I've got my dog or a cane.

Regarding this... I can't read people's minds, so I don't know... But their looks give me a clue. When I'm pushing my mum's wheelchair, I get either neutral or negative looks mostly... The positive looks, though few and far between, seem to come from either other disabled people or young Asian women. And to the negative looks I return a sharp, piercing, nasty but quick glance. Anyway... I hope people stop ignoring you and start treating you better.

Edited by keri-j, 05 December 2006 - 06:38 AM.

[salamangkero]

I guess I can only speak for myself. Some disabilities are stuff you don't get to see everyday, something like amputations, facial deformations, extra or missing appendages, or enlargement of some body parts. Disabilities like that tend to, well, distract anyone who strikes up a conversation. Based on experience, the moment some people sense this, they immediately get defensive and ask, "Why the fvck do you keep looking at my eyes/arms/legs/teeth?!?" They then go on lamenting about social discrimination, oppression and prejudice when all you did was look a little bit too often.

I'm not denying it's bad to discriminate people with disabilities but it most certainly is not evil to acknowledge them for what they really are: disabled people (I'm using the term disabled loosely here, some are quite talented fellows) I would very much rather speak to a person who knows and acknowledges that she has only one arm or a harelip than one who wallows in self-pity.

I'm sure it sounds rude to ask, "So... were you born blind or was it an accident?" or, "What was it like to have only one arm?" but I'm sure there are also people who'd ask others, "So, since when did you find out you were gay?" or, "What was life like in Asia/Africa?" Curiosity may have killed the cat but I'm positive it is also the first step to an understanding. Some "disabled" people lament that nobody understands them; I hardly wonder why.

Maybe they should have answered, "Life with one arm was certainly challenging, at first but after some time...", which, I'm sure, leads to an interesting conversation for us, instead of "Ugh, don't ask," or "Didn't your mom teach you not to stare?"

As a result of these objectionable actions, some people, like me, perhaps, just tend to shun social interactions with "disabled" people, otherwise keeping them to a bare minimum, rather than risk provoking an individual into a fit of self-pity, defensiveness, misery or violent denial.

Although the guys (or gals) who posted before me do have a point too. Why on earth would I say hello to a stranger? Sure, I'd yell, "Look out!" and do something if someone was in mortal danger or in need of assistance but, otherwise, I'd probably mind my own business, just like everyone else.

I'm not antagonizing you, sapphiresilver. Like I said, only some "disabled" people act like that. If it's of any comfort, I too, can relate somewhat whenever people frown and comment, "Oh, you're gay," in an undesirable tone. Some outrageously unmannered homosexuals in our country have given they gay community a terrible image.

I hope what I said was somewhat clear enough. English is not my native tongue, you see

Edited by salamangkero, 05 December 2006 - 05:09 PM.

[ink]

I dont say hello to strangers either, whether they have a disability or not. Lots of people are just not in the mood to be greeted by me or any other stranger.

I do however, *not* ignore blind people at all! Same goes for people with any other disability. Instead, I actually pay more attention when I someone walking around with a cane of a dog.

Once there was a blind man, with cane and dog, who want to take, walk off, the stairs in a very crowded place. Everybody around us was in such a hurry to reach their office and classes on time, nobody cared about that man. I was in a hurry too, because I had an appointment at university, but I did wonder: "what if I aswell, would not help that man, and he would fall off the stairs?" so instead I walked up to him and took his hand while he was standing on top of the stairs, his dog was creating a barriére for him, and I saw him touching in the air, trying to get some grip, which would help him walk off the stairs. I asked him 'sir, where would you like to go?' and he said he had to wait at .... for someone to pick him up. I told him that the stairs were not leading to that place and if he would like me to bring him back to the entrance, where he was supposed to sit down. So I just held his hand and guided him through the running crowd of people, and brought him back safely to the place where he could sit down. I thought it was so sad that nobody stopped for him to offer him a little help. If I'd be blind, I'd be so happy if people would just take 1 minute to prevent me from falling off the stairs, instead of just rushing off egoistically and caring about theirselves only.

Btw, what I am wondering though, is how you read forum posts? I'm honestly very interested in the sort of tools disabled people to adjust themselves to the world. I guess a computer program reads it aloud? Converts text to speech?

Anyhow, I just want to say that people are not necessarily ignoring you, they probably just want to stay neutral, so they decide it would be weird if they would not say hello to any random passerby, except for disabled people, so they figure it would be better to just act cool instead of nosy or exaggeratedly warm or friendly towards a person with a disability, and that 'acting neutral' might look like 'ignoring you' to you.

I have to mention that English is not my native tongue either, so I hope my choice of words doesn't sound rude or anything. I'm just not familiar with alterative words for disabled people and such, that's why use of words might be a bit repetetive or blunt or something, my sincere apologies if so. Now that I think of it, maybe instead of blind blind blind..there might be the word 'visually handicapped' or visually disabled? I'm not sure... *pouts*

[salamangkero]

Your heroics are admirable.

ink, on Dec 6 2006, 07:42 PM, said:

Btw, what I am wondering though, is how you read forum posts? I'm honestly very interested in the sort of tools disabled people to adjust themselves to the world. I guess a computer program reads it aloud? Converts text to speech?

I, too, was thinking of that and only found out the answer only now. sapphiresilver said he/she was legally blind. I initially thought it meant total blindness but a quick run through Wikipedia revealed that while totally blind people are legally blind, it is not always the other way around.

A short version of it: If you have really, REALLY, REALLY bad eyesight, you're legally blind even though you can still see, read Trap17 threads or even surf the net. You can't drive, though; I think you won't be allowed.

I hope you were as enlightened now as I was a few moments ago

[rldowling03]

Wel u get alot of nasty ppl in this world. Ppl who think they are beta than every1 else and luk and disabled ppl in disgust. Then u get the nice ppl who feel sorry 4 them and help them in anyway possible. So i gues it al depends on the person and their attitude. Thats most probably why. Bt every person has a dif point of view towards disabled ppl.

[velma]

Hi,

I think it has somthing to do with the fact that people are not quite open minded so it becomes a problem to both the disabled and the onlooker.
I have no disability accept slightly knock kneed legs so I cant participate in races. As a kid my friends used to leave me behind for I was slightly slower than them but as I grew up and started reading a lot, They would come to me help out in studies.

I took it in a positive light so there were no hassles but peole get insecure over their disability and start getting defensive for that reason.

I have heard of disabled people complaining of the fact that they are treated like a grade lower which hurts a lots.

Once I had seen a cripple trying to get his wheel chair down a flight of steps to reach the platform but nobody even tried helping and then I tried helping me but Iam quite short so couldnt get a grip.
When the other people saw me doing this then they decided to help and I helped the man down the steps. I felt so happy for helping not out of show off kind but because of the way he said Thank you.

It was freaking touching.

But i have seen people fight their disabilities very strongly. A relative of mine had breast cancer and in the end it had to be removed, She lost all her hair and her skin had turned pale but the strength of that woman was inspiring.

She smiled throughout the experience and still enjoys her game of bridge.

Cheers,

[seez]

I have no disabilties, but whenever I see a poor, disabled, or miserable-looking person, I smile at them really big and get this warm look in my eyes to brighten up their day. I don't treat them meanly - I treat them nicely and do whatever I can to make them feel normal.

[narutorasengan17]

for me, i honestly do not make fun of people with disabilities, and if someone makes fun of them while im around, i dont allow it, its not nice, its not cool, those people are no different than us, actually, you could say they are better, since everyday of theyre life is more of a struggle than ours, but they still dont give up, they keep on going, and there is also another thing, its that you could make fun of someone now for having some kind of disability, but can you garantee that you wont ever get one? how will you feel then when people disreagard you and mistreat you, and im serious, it could happen to anyone, you could see one day, and then the other you cant, maybe you can run and play sports, but you get into a car crash and you injusre your spine, and end up on a wheel chair...so we all are vulnerable to such things, but all i could say is god forbid.