33 replies to this topic

[fermin25]

I think the monotony is the cause. The monotony is made the same things all the days like go to the movies in Tuesday or lunch together in the weekends. So one of the partners will start to get bored and will be easier to find interesting things in another person. So the monotony conducts to the infedelity and when this relationship´s enemy present the history is almost secured and the breakup will be the end of the long-term relationship. So we have a lot of problems everyday and maybe with a long-term relationship we start to put more attention to our problems than the partner and this totally conducts to the breakup and when this happen is difficult to re-join the relationship and continue.

Of course there are exceptions like the masoquist relations where one person is totally dependent of the other like women who suffer violence but they deep like it. The women specially try to leave to the agressor but once they do this they start in a nostalgical state of mind and miss to the agressor who come back and continue the abuse and the problems but for a strange reason they breakup and suddenly are together again. Maybe this have nothing related with the long-term relationship but is part of the long-term relationship because the masoquist partners will last a lot of years, at least something extraordinary happens like arrest or the jail.

So maybe this are some of the most common causes of a long-term relationship to end. Bye.

[chini13]

Relationship if end up were not strong and were a burden on people.Its like not being you with the partner.So it will fade after time.Space, understanding, respect and love all together make things stronger between too people.Its like thinking as US and not as ME and I ...Then there is mutual give and take and things go well.Taking the one you have as granted takes away the charm from the relation..If these are not present it will broke and some other subjects will appear more tempting like a new partner in life..

[Harlot]

I agree, monotony surely does play a big role in the end of long term relationships and even short term relationships. I have found myself tired of a particular girl many times. Its like...its a fun ride at first but now the ride is getting kind of old if you know what I mean. I know that sounds cruel, but its reality. If I had to give advice to a female on keeping a guy and only use one word, that word would be "change". Don't do the same old thing. I can't speak from a female point of view because I am not a female, so don't take my comments as blaming the female. I am not a female so I don't know what causes them to end relationships. However, for males, we definitely get bored (or at least I do). It may not even be that he is bored of activities or events, but rather bored of you. Sorry, but it happens.

This is especially true when it comes to sex (I am not speaking from experience, just the obvious ). Men have fantasies, and some of us will go to other women for our sexual fantasy to be lived out. That's why most women are given advice to get more creative with sex. Like acting like you're the teacher and hes the student, or like you're the girl next door (lol). Its more about thought than the physical aspect, at least as far as I can tell. A guy could be having sex with a girl and acting like you are someone else in his head (I know, sounds sick right lol).

[iAssistant]

When a relationship is already gets that long, it get boring and both become complacent. They do not make any effort anymore to please one another and to add element of surprise and excitement in their relationship because they are already confident that their partner loves them very much and wouldn't leave him/her. The most important thing is not to lose the spark in your relationship and love each other more every year.

[Indego_Media]

Relationships get stale, and if your not careful you mistake boredom for falling out of love. the spark that everyone is talking about doesn't just keep its self alight. it takes work and energy from both parties. I do think that there are times when people grow apart, when you have been with some one for some time, you may have changed, you may have decided that the course that you were traveling along no longer is right for you. Unfortunately this often means that couples split up if the other person is not willing to try change or compromise.

I do believe that relationships take work, I know from experience how easy it is to let the "Spark" die, I also know how hard it is to keep the spark alive once the relationship has hit a major flat line.

In all honestly if you love the person that you are with, and they love you then nothing is impossible, the sad part to that is that when you first fall in love with your special someone it quite often isn't love at all its more then likely to have been lust, and the spark from lust is harder to keep alight. Love is supposedly eternal so the spark from love is somewhat more manageable the that of lust's.

the difference between love and lust well lets leave the sex out of it, lust encompasses all the newness and shinny parts of a new relationship, quite often when lust is presence the little things "habits" that people have they either don't notice or the ignore thinking its a little quirky idiosyncrasy that they have, the down side to this is that when it stops being first dates and romantic weekends away, and the day to day happenings kick in, those little quirky features that you tolerated, now start to annoy you beyond belief,

this is when you either need to find the things that you Love in your partner or start to have open direct discussions with them. cause brushing it under the rug will only allow it to grow and fester like an infected wound..... and we all know that an infection not treated correctly can kill you.......

In short there are most likely X number of reasons for a relationship to break down, and long term it may just be that one day you woke up and realized that your life is not what you want any more......

you owe it to your self to be honest and composed when talking to your partner about your feelings, weather its been 12 months or 12 years, it will still hurt if you can't work it out.

You also owe it to you and your partner to make sure that your compromises are not all consuming. you need to know that there is balance in the relationship, that there is trust and genuine belief that you are both wanting the same thing.

To grow old together, happy with the life that you have lived.


If this is not how you see your life progressing then its time to agree to move on. long term or not it will never be an easy decision.............

my thoughts anyway. hugs

[k_nitin_r]

There are lots of things that cause long-term relationships to end. When people drift apart, such as in long-distance relationships, they tend to forget the good times that they have had together and attempt to fill in the void left in their lives. At other times, it may be a lack of commitment to the relationship. It may even be the realisation that there was nothing between the two but infatuation and a relationship cannot last based on infatuation alone. In a relationship, there is a give and take and when one side feels he/she is being taken advantage of, there's the beginning of the end.

A heart break is not necessarily something bad. It gives you the experience that you need to gain maturity. To have maturity means to be the one that works on maintaining and mending the relationship but that too comes with expectations that the other will do the same when the time comes.

I would also go as far as to state that if you have never had an argument or a fight in a long relationship, chances are that when you do actually have an argument or a fight, it would take a great deal of understanding from both sides to get through it. A relationships that has gone through the highs and lows is more likely to survive through the challenges than a relationship that has been all roses and goody-goody stuff. Staying together in thick and thin is what makes a relationship between two people worth it.