10 replies to this topic

[Skyfalling]

I remember the first time I went to middle school, it all seemed new and exciting to me. I mean, it was one of those things - you're finally 'not a kid' anymore. You could actually start being an 'adult' and start experiencing new, amazing things. I didn't exactly experience the things I thought I would. Girls started liking guys, guys started liking girls. Some girls started to cake makeup on their faces at this age and wore clothing that I don't even like to talk about. Some guys were in that 'pants' phase where they wore their pants so incomprehensibly low it was disgusting. Of course, enough of my mindless, useless stereotyping. This story is about me, the foolish girl.

I was shy. I really was, and I wasn't exactly the most popular girl in school, but I wasn't necessarily a loser either. I was more so in the middle, a place where I was somewhat safe. Of course, I did have my fair share of bullying by those egotistic eight graders, but I eventually got over it (one of those bullies proving to be a very kind girl in high school). Now, I came to grade eight, a grade that wasn't exactly the most exciting. My best friend had this guy friend and she went to talk to him one day with his group of friends. I guess you could say 'I fell in love'...with his looks. I thought it was love at the time, how silly of me. I immediately told my friend after lunch and she laughed at me. I liked this guy though.

The thing is, I never had a boyfriend before, and I was shy.

So my friend used this time to tease me. She actually told him I had a crush on him. When we were outside she told him I was in love with him. That was pretty much the only time I've ever hated her. That's what also started this rather awkward relationship between him and I. At the time, he didn't know about the real me, he just thought I was a girl like all the other ones. However, one day while I was going outside for the first half of lunch, my best friend ran after me as hard as she could.

She told me he wanted to go out with me.

I can't exactly explain this feeling I was having. It was a mix of excitement and worry. I mean, I did want to go out with him, but I wasn't quite sure how I was supposed to act, me being unexperienced with dating and stuff. So, I told her to go tell him I would go out with him (yes, us losers still used friends and MSN to ask out people). At the time, he was going out with this other girl with a really funny, princess-like name that I will not say. I can't say I liked her. She seemed like someone I just couldn't like even if I tried to - she was...well, really girly, and screamed.

So, then began it all.

I heard from my best friend that he dumped her and he laughed afterwards, that shows how much he liked her, eh? After that, we were officially together forever (sort off). It finally came to the first day of us being together, and it was probably the best day of my life. I was on cloud nine, nothing could get rid of this happiness I was feeling. I was stupid though, really stupid. I mean, I couldn't even talk to him because I was so shy! It was my stupidity that we could be together and all that jazz (I was thinking ahead a little too fast...twenty years too fast). That's how it led to my downfall.

The next day, he told his friend to tell me he just wanted to be 'friends'. I was devastated.

I cried on the bus a little and felt like shaking my fist at him as he walked to soccer practice. I mean, how could he do this to me? After I told my friend what he did, they went into a small war for a little bit. One of those 'how could you!?' wars. It's really silly, now that I think about it. He finally told her later on that he dumped me the day after because I wouldn't talk to him. The truth was, I didn't talk to him. I was too scared to, and didn't know how to keep a normal conversation flowing.

I spent the rest of that year promising to myself that I would talk to him. I mean, we had plenty of opportunities. We pretty much saw each other every morning, so I could use that as my chance to make it up to him. My best friend thought it was a good idea, so we got to the planning. It's too bad now that I think back on it; maybe we really could of been friends if I had the same confidence I have today. You see, it was summer, and I still hadn't spoken a word to him except 'hi'. I planned to go to my friends house and visit him together, but that didn't work out.

He was moving away to the big city at the beginning of the next school term.

So, that ended it. Our one day relationship. I like to look back and laugh at it now though. I mean, how stupid was I? This mistake did teach me a lot of things though, like, don't trust my best friend with guy problems XD. That, and that I should of actually talked to him. I had it in my hands and now it's gone. I deeply regret it, but even if we had been together, he would of been 10 hours away from me next year. In closing, this is my story, and don't do what I did at that time.

[srujanlive]

Girl, You have to be more careful these days. There will always be better guys. You therefore have to choose wisely. Which I think you perhaps are. Anyways here is wishing you all the best next time.

[Skyfalling]

Thanks for the comment, and yeah, I haven't dated anyone since then . I'm trying to focus more on school now - love can wait another day.

[sniperkiller]

it's a shame that that guy dumped ya because you coudn't say anything because of shyness
at least he could have asked you how he could make you more relaxed or if there was anything that made you uneasy
but don't think it was your fault !!! he will surely have said that to save his ego, but the truth behind it you'll never going to know
love on first sight might be lovely and will always be a good memory, but a lot of relationships that started with love on first sight never end well, at least not all of them, the first love is a sort of guideline for the next relationship
through life you're going to meet a lot more guys, who will give you the same feeling as your first love on sight, but this time it will be a stronger feeling then before, you're going to know how to react

anyway don't give up looking for a close friend / partner, on a day you'll meet the right person
a guy who will make you feel safe when you're with him, a guy who will make you laugh in sad times or who will keep you company on times when you need a reliable person the most
untill then, don't let yourself go down, focus on some other stuff like school, but also keep some interest in the people around you, even if it isn't as much as before
the more friends you have, the better, you never know when friendship would turn into love
also don't forget that school will be your future and that it isn't the best thing to leave behind while having your thoughts on someone, they will understand it if you tell it to them, but just don't drop them behind when times are hard

have fun

(PS: i'm a guy ^^)

[tuddy]

I guess you made the foolish mistake to start with, in your opening statement there you said about all the relationshisp forming and i guess it came across that you weren't looking at that stuff heading into adult life, then you became blind at the sight of a hot guy, and wihout really knowing him let him in to a place where guys should only be when truely in love and got yourself hurt, but im glad you have learnt from this experience and i could only imagine what will happen the next time round meeting a guy. Good luck and it wasnt a bad experience just a silly one!

[Skyfalling]

Thanks again for your replies everyone ^^. I appreciate the advice you gave, sniperkiller. I don't think anyone really ever stops looking for a partner . I don't think he ever really thought about asking why I wasn't talking to him either or how he could make me relaxed, but even if he did ask something like that, in that time I'd probably be speechless . I guess it really was a silly experience, tuddy, but I'm sure it all happened for the best.

[Smack]

Ah, you should of known it was doomed from the start. First off you aren't ready to date if you can't ask the person out yourself, something my parents taught me from maybe the third grade. But most of all you should had known what would happen when he dumped his current girlfriend for you when he didn't even know you. Reason says if he was so quick to dump her - he would do the same to you. Didn't your momma teach ya that? Hehe.

But one's first significant other is special - no matter the outcome or specifics. Mine was in the first grade and I got one of my friends to ask her to be my girlfriend. We even kissed! Haha. Too funny. We 'went out' for like a month and then broke up for a reason I don't remember. All I know is the friend I got to ask her out ended up going out with her later in the year and we thought it was so cool that we had dated the same girl. Ah, weird little kids were we.

[tuddy]

Skyfalling, on Apr 25 2007, 06:24 AM, said:

I guess it really was a silly experience, tuddy, but I'm sure it all happened for the best.

Oh, I don't doubt that one bit. Coming from me, who has crashed two seperate cars, fallin in love much the same as you did with someone, only to have them move away without a word, made some very folish mistakes in my time dealing with females, and i'm only 19, yet, i'm bound to make some more soon, it's about time for some more. We never stop learning and experiencing in this life, but we learn do learn very well from my mistakes. Your next relationship is only going to be much bigger and better then the last, and you need to work on your confidence, you can talk to anyone, its what you talk about which will reveal your feelings.

[Zlash]

Funny story. Good one too. It can help a lot of others who are doing the very same thing right now(being shy and silent). After reading your story I can't say that I get an impression of him being a very nice guy. After all he laughed after dumping a girl. Is it supposed to be funny? And then he dumped you because you didn't talk to him? As most of the people who have posted here said: He should have taken the matter in own hands and made a conversation with you. He is the one who is supposed to make you comfortable.

Being shy can damage a lot more than most people would think. Same being paranoid, but I'm not gonna change subject now . I'm glad to hear that you are more confident now. As far as I know, it is girls who use to be shy(no offense of course). Haven't really got the hang of why. My problem(yes I have a problem) is not the shy part. I am quite confident actually and I'm also in the middle section when it comes to being a looser or a Mr. Popular. I don't really know what my problem is. Maybe it is the fact that I say stupid things to the girl I am in love with. I think that is normal, but it is really annoying. Or maybe it is something else. But I'm not gonna start a new story now.

[iGuest]

I'm a eighth grader and I had the almost exact story you have, I'm very inexperienced I have only had 2 great guy friends in my whole life so that made me very shy with ever even saying the word "hi" but I never had any problem with having girl friends. But for some reason when ever it looked like a guy would approach me, my heart would pound in my chest, my neck and mouth would get all dry and my palms would sweat. The only problem is. I have a hard time trying to talk to guys that are decent - like guys that are rated a 6 out a 10 but when ever a guy is a loser or a nerd I have no problem talking to them mostly because they don't intimidate me. I think that’s what it all is, intimidation, which are the reasons I seem all tense and nervous around guys. Honestly you may think intimidation is a little rare but not for me its not like there’s guys that only look like models at my school ( defiantly not) its that I think the average Joe is pretty hot so imagine how many guys are average, yea, for me that’s like everyone. The typical normal guys is not bad of a face and body and still pretty good with conversation like most people, kinda like there always in a okay comfort-zone. So the word good is what I'm lookin for. I mean so many people say I'm pretty and an okay chick but you can never really judge your self, you have to get the opinion of your peers at first to feel what rate of chick you are. Most say I'm an 8 outa 10, so I accept that as above average. But I always wasn't a 8 when I got to middle school it seemed that you can't fit in unless your pretty so it took me a while to get familiar with make-up and a good style for me with clothes but something that still fits my age so no skimpy stuff. So after the whole good looks transition, I was a lil lost after that, I’ve been working so hard on the first impressions, I forgot about my personality. I mean I didn't forget myself, but in my personality there was always one thing that kept me from interacting with people which was my shyness, that was always the thing that held me back from making friends, was letting them to know about me, to kinda getta feel of who I really am. So then I finally broke my shyness at least enough for people to feel comfortable with me, it took me about a 3 years to get here. And I feel pretty prepared about how to start off with people. But ofcourse it wasn't just about friends it was about guys too. The thing I admired and brang me to the confidence of a good start, after I learned that I was good at starting off I still got lost! I was still inexperienced with even getting to a friend relationship with guys. This frustrates me pretty badly especially how I see a cute couple in my school. I wish I had that at least a little bit of it, to have someone adore me and happy to see me. My only goal!Since the average Joe seems intimidating to me I feel that I should go after easy targets so I can kinda start as a beginner. Although it sounds like a good plan it isn't the guys I go after are usually bad boys or trouble makers or jerks, they are usually negative for me they could actually make my life even more difficult, now that I think about it! But even the jerks don't want me I feel like I'm doing something wrong and am embarrassed by trying to show my vulnerable side to a guy that doesn't deserve it. But now I think that I should just wait and have it come to me. Idk about this drama of growin up and all these mature decisions I'm thinkin of.