12 replies to this topic

[Reekun]

I don't think flirting is ok if you're in a relationship with someone.

It breaks all trust and boundaries between the two of you, and could cause unneeded tension/friction leading to a breakup.

What my lady friends tell me is "What he won't know won't hurt him..."

But when a guy does it he's automatically labeled as an evil little man void of any trust applicable to him...

[Darknesscyshadow]

TikiPrincess, on Sep 5 2007, 05:11 PM, said:

OK, I'm probably the last person who needs to be starting this topic, but it's one of the conversations that got brought up during my friends' Labor Day party.

So what constitutes as "cheating"?

One of my friends, a guy, says that it's not cheating unless you get caught. Then you have to suffer the repercussions of your actions and how far you took it. If you get caught kissing and your partner thinks that's as far as you've gone, then that's the only thing you have to atone for.
Another friend, a girl, believes that intention is all that's needed to be considered cheating. Her example was that if she were dating one guy, and she goes to a club and flirted with someone else and tries to make someone else want her by flirting with him, etc. even if nothing physical passes between them, then that's cheating in her book.

Obviously there are as many definitions of cheating as there are relationships. Each person has their own barometer of the behavior they expect from their partner, and it may change from partner to partner. In my opinion, neither of the two definitions given is satisfactory to me. The guy's is far too lax and the girl's is far too strict for me. I'm a flirt, and I like dancing and innuendo while my husband doesn't really enjoy dancing and doesn't mind that I dance with other guys. But I still consider something like kissing another guy on the lips as cheating.

So I pose the question to you all, where does flirting end and cheating begin?

I prefer to view it not as cheating, but betrayal of love:

They can want, but they can't touch. It's not bad that you want people to want you- that is normal, but I think I'm with your view of it. Kissing, touching (suggestively of course) is all too far. Wanting someone else enough to actively strive after them is betrayal. and extremely suggestive flirting cyber-wise is betrayal too in my book. You have to be loyal to the person you love-

So you smile when you know someone is looking at you- it's all fine. As long as you're loyal and don't make a move, you're not betraying the trust of your lover.

You have to be loyal to the person you love.

[iGuest]

My view is this... Guys/gals always say " I AM JUST BEING NICE", while really you are flirting. Try being nice and notice how you feel on the inside than flirt with someone that catches your eye and notice your inner feelings. I know that while you flirt your blood pressure raises a bit and you have a higher tension of emotions roaring inside of you. While being nice your body stays calmer. Why is that??? Flirting makes your insides burst with beautiful feelings. The kind of feelings when you first met your significant other. So why would you give a big part of you to someone you claim you do not love?? BECAUSE YOU ARE A CHEATER! You cannot have those high tension wonderful feelings with 2 people at the same moment. I guarantee you this, while you are flirting with someone spectacular in your eyes, you will not be feeling the same emotions at the same time for your partner. So you actually gave your special emotion/feeling to another. Yes, this is called AN EMOTIONAL AFFAIR !! No physical sex involved but non the less you cheated. I am sure all of you will agree that it starts with a notice, than progresses to I want to know you, than flirting alot, down to wanting to be closer and getting to know you more, finally the crossing of the line...Physical touch!So why even start at the start line because I am sure you do not want to cross the finish line and risk losing your partner! Think twice because it is soooo difficult to win back the one you really love when you cross that line.Trust me, I know what I am talking about...My husband crossed the line. Hope this helps that someone if he/she is contemplating on crossing that line. DON'T it is not worth all the stress !

-reply by Mona Lisa