14 replies to this topic

[Moogler]

Quote

Depression is something I've struggled with for many years. It's not a constant thing, but I fall into it for weeks at a time. The thing that's really important to recognize is that when you're feeling depressed, everything seems so much worse. For example, if you're unhappy with your husband or partner, work seems even worse. If you're unhappy at work, problems at home take on much bigger proportions.

I have a good friend who does a lot of 'life coaching,' and his advice to me, whenever this starts happening, is 'put a wedge in it!' What he means is that first, you have to separate all those things and address each one individually. By lumping everthing together, we tend to overwhelm ourselves with what's wrong and lead ourselves to the conclusion that our entire life is a mess, making the depression even worse. Second, when you're in a depressed state, you have to realize that what's going on in your head is feelings, not necessarily truths. There's a big difference.

What has really helped me is making small changes that allow me to look at things with a slightly different perspective. I need to sell my house because it isn't gaining market value and I'm losing money every month. I haven't had a great paying freelance job in a long time. My boyfriend is great in a lot of ways, but he never tells me how he feels, much less that he loves me. I need to get back to the gym because I can't fit into my clothes. My dog is driving me crazy. Everything in my house is a mess.... and on and on. You see how we pile everything up?

If I take a step back and look at each thing, then decide what small change I can make in each area, I have a more realistic view and a proactive one, too. Get a new real estate agent that's more aggressive. Take one hour every day and look for better freelance opportunities. Tell my boyfriend how I feel and recognize that he shows how much he loves me in what he does, but just has a hard time saying it... and accept that's just who he is. Just get up and go to the gym... no matter what... because I know I always feel better after I've had some exercise. From these changes or steps toward resolving individual problems springs a much more positive attitude. You're taking care of yourself! And the depression lifts.

Last point it... if you're feeling depressed for an extended amount of time (not just feeling 'blue' for a few days or weeks), you need to talk to a doctor. I'm not advocating the use of anti-depressants if they are really not necessary, but it *may* be something to consider if you're spending too much time sleeping, you feel helpless, you have no energy and/or many of the other classic depression symptoms. A doctor can easily recognize syptoms of depression and offer help, whether that's in the form of counseling or, perhaps, a temporary prescription. You can also look for natural supplements such as St. John's Wort, 5-HTTP or Sam-E, to help lift your mood.

I truly wish I wasn't so familiar with this topic. I hope that what I've written helps and I hope you start feeling better very soon.

All I can do is agree. You said it all, and literally stole the words out of my mouth. Excellent advice.

Edited by Moogler, 13 May 2008 - 03:33 PM.

[iGuest]

marriage adviceDepressed...need Advice!

Money problems in a marriage or in any relationship are not uncommon. In fact, love and money is often a point of significant contention. Unfortunately, I had to learn this the hard way. I once believed that if two people were in love, all the money would go into one account and both individuals would use it responsible. As much as I wish this created harmony, it seems the opposite is true.If you and your partner have developed a system that works for you, then I support your decision to continue your current arrangement. If, on the other hand, money is a constant arguing point, it’s time to resolve the issues before they have an adverse affect on the relationship. Spending time together each week to figure out how to lower your bills may help you strike balanced household budget in your relationship.

[silenthill]

Help you break your negative thought pattern and stop you feeling depressed:


1. Understand the emotional cycle - Life is an emotional roller coaster. Some days you feel like nothing can stop you. Other days you feel utterly hopeless. Most of the time you’re somewhere in between. Understanding the pattern of positive and negative emotions will help you put your feelings in perspective. Next time you feel down, just remember that it’s a natural emotion that will inevitably pass. Knowing that a feeling of depression is only temporary makes it less dreadful.

2. Spend time with positive people - Nothing affects the way you think and feel more than the people you interact with. Thoughts (both positive and negative) are contagious. If you are surrounded by negative people, it’s only natural that you’ll start to think and feel the same way. To improve your outlook on life, spend time with positive people. Search them out and try to understand the way they see the world. Chances are their happiness will rub off.

3. Reflect on past success - In the wake of a colossal failure, it’s easy to forget everything you’ve ever done right. Take a few minutes to remember your past accomplishments and build yourself up. What made you successful before? What are your strengths? Frequently, this exercise will build self confidence, help you figure out what went wrong, and generate ideas for success in the future.

4. Focus on gratitude - It’s human nature to measure ourselves against those ahead of us on the social ladder. Studies have shown that people care more about being richer than their friends than actually making more money. When you consider everything good in your life and compare it to the problems of less fortunate people, the issue that’s making you depressed won’t seem as serious.

5. Change of scenery - One of the best ways to change the way you feel is to change your environment. When you get in a slump, you start to associate your problems with everything around you. It can get to the point where your environment is a constant reminder of your problems. This can be a dangerous cycle. The solution is to change things. Change doesn’t have to be radical. Cleaning up, adding more lights, or including pleasant decorations can completely change the mood of a room.

6. Break your routine - Going through the same routine, day after day, can be monotonous and depressing. It often leads to getting caught in a rut. To get out of it you need to temporarily change your routine. If you can, take a day off from work. Do something you don’t normally have time for or something you’ve never tried. In the long run, taking a day off every now and then to get out of slump will make you happier and more productive.

7. Interact with animals and nature - It’s funny when you consider how humans put so much importance on their own tiny problems. Animals don’t think this way. A little bird doesn’t mope around because it isn’t an eagle or because another bird beat it to a tasty seed. Animals live in the present moment and they show love unconditionally. Observing and interacting with them will help you get over your problems.

8. Get moving - As Johnny Cash famously suggested, “Get a rhythm, when you get the blues.” Moving to a beat makes everyone feel better. The same is true for movement in general. Hitting the gym or going for a walk will help you shed the lethargy that comes with feeling depressed. The more enthusiastic your moments, the better you will start to feel.

9. Think about the big picture - As Carl Sagan made evident with the Pale Blue Dot, we’re insignificant creatures living in a vast universe on a tiny planet. In the long run, everything we do will probably be forgotten. Some might find this depressing, but it shouldn’t be. It means that all our problems are illusory. In a million years no one will remember what you did or didn’t do. What matters is the present moment and enjoying every second of life that we’re blessed with.

10. Do something to help yourself - Above all, the best way to stop feeling depressed is to take action. What is your biggest problem? How can you alleviate it? Once you decide to stop moping and start moving forward you won’t have time to feel depressed. Action will occupy your mind and give you something to look forward to. Once you get some results, you’ll build momentum and positive thinking will keep getting easier.





















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[iGuest]

just here to venyDepressed...need Advice!

I was dating this girl on and off for about 2 years.  We broke up because she got drunk at a party and kissed another guy.  We were seperated for about 4 months when we decided to give it another shot?  After about 3 months of dating we broke up again,  its been 3 months since we broke up but I still have dreams about her??? not everynight but alot of them?  It always ends with us breaking up, so when I wake up I feel sick and cant breath!!  I have not seen or talked to her since we broke up so I wonder why does this keep having?  She was my first love!! sometimes I wish we never met so all the pain would go away!! what can I do????

-reply by helipilot

 

[gisellebebegirl]

If makes you feel any better, so have i Nothing makes sence to me anymore, i know i should be happy, but im not and its just everything is starting to slip out of control, i cant handle this anymore, i know it sounds like im breaking up w/my life but eh, i need to figure out what makes me happy, what i should be doing, this aint like me to run away from things, but i guess theres a first time for everything, i know im happy, i listen to what people say, i listen to myself, i look in the mirror, and nothing clicks, i stand up and stick my nose up in school, act like nothing can break me, but in reality i just want to drop down to my knees and cry.. hoping somoene will come, hug me, and help me

i just feel so lonely.