, Please 
1
Exactly 85 days ago, I made my last post. So now I'm back. I'm sure you all are just dieing to read where I was during those 85 days, so I decided to write a little story of everything that happened. Keep in mind, this story is
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On September 12, the last day I was seen on this forum, I ventured out into the forest and ran across a bear. After a 2 hour fight, I ended up victorious. Once I was sure he was dead, I put his 1000 lb body on my back and carried him home. Needless to say, he was very delicious. That night, I went upstairs to get onTrap17. However, I tripped on the computer, fell down the stairs, rolled out the door, down the porch stairs, in the driveway, into the road, got ran over by car, then sat lying in the road, got ran over by a deer, and was then taken to the hospital by Chuck Norris, where he roundhouse kicked and set me out of the hospital bed, down the lobby, and into the road. Then, I walked of the road. I was cured! The next day I was kidnapped by Paris Hilton. She held a gun up to me and asked how she could get her electronic tracking device off of her neck. I told her to jump in the pool, so she did. End of story. For the remaining 83 days, I was lost in Hollywood. I met some weird people like Lindsay Lohan, Tom Cruise, Lindsay Lohan, Brittney Spears, and Lindsay Lohan. Eventually I met a really blonde and traded her a nickel for her plane ticket. From the airport, I rode on a camel home. And that leads me to where I am now.
If you don't believe me, ask the magical, all-knowing tree (on sale for $49.99 at your local Walmart). I think the message to be learned from this is never venture out into a forest. And on a final note, I'm back (for a little while at least)!!
***faints*** how could husker ***cries**, did all the taunting of the Nebraska Corn Huskers would have a bad season finally make you snap? I guess you pulled a Children of the Corn as well?? 
, well anyways at least your back and read to 
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