31 replies to this topic

[keego]

Do you feel like sometimes you're in a relationship that is so perfect but then you have like arguments once awhile that really hurts? But because of it not happening so often how would u know to break up with someone for the right reasons?

How would you know if you would regret it or not.. and what if you do regret it but its too late?

Sometimes i think i want to break up with my partner because i find the things he says to me is so irritating.. well when it comes to arguments that start from simple things like decisions.

For example :

I tell him i want to go somewhere.. but im kinda lazy because then i have to find a way to get home but then if i dont go ill be bored at home

Isn't that a stupid reason to argue over?
But stuff like that .. always makes us argue.. like his always saying i can never make up my mind..

I guess its just annoying to me how his tones are.. i guess i feel that if his my bf he should be there to jst listen to what i have to say or how i feel about something and not yell at me and say i cnt make up my mind.. i guess i dont expect to have a bf like that.. sometimes he doesnt make up his mind if he wants to go to a party or not.. but i dont do that to him.. i dont tell him off for not making up his mind ..

Sometimes i think that because of those reasons i kinda loose feelings for him.. and i do feel that he doesnt love me as much as i love him.. and i guess sometimes i want the love to be equal..

So how would you know if you're starting to loose feelings for a person?

anyone?

[Vera]

It sounds like you need a guy to decipher your boyfriends. I know my boyfriend doesn't want to know about all the little daily stuff. He thinks that's stuff you'd tell your gal pals or your family. What I found works for us is for me to put everything in a blog, not just for him, but because I feel like I need to get things off of my chest. He'll be pretty good about reading it, especially since he'll want to check out if he has been mentioned or not, since it's viewable by the public and I don't have a tendency to hold anything back when writing. I know if I told him things like what I watched on TV, what chores I did, and similar things, he'd have trouble paying attention, and then that could turn into an argument.

I think the people who like to create arguments are those that are bored or want to force a change. If things are boring, fighting isn't the best way to make things interesting. Try a new hobby together, like hang gliding, or go out of the house together to see a movie or go dancing.

About arguments, if the problem isn't solved, it seems like the same argument will be rehashed later on, and each time it will intensify. Why is there a need to have the same fight over and over? Fighting isn't fixing whatever the problem is, so it is time to try something new.

In general, I think a person can tell if they are losing feelings for someone based on how much they think about their other half. If you didn't see that person all week and you couldn't care less, that's a good indicator. When they call, if you smile when they say hello or roll your eyes tells volumes. They can't see you on the phone, so if you feel like it is taking an extra amount of effort just to sound nice or normal, then that can't be good for the relationship.

[anachro]

I'm a guy (so maybe) I can help;

In truth it's hard to say because are different types of guys: listeners, not listeners (basic split groups), and the various types which generally fall between them, but just like politics there are gray areas.

Me and my Girlfriend have been going out for ~5 years, and so I've learned alot about women and myself, and how I interpret things (I think thats interesting).

to the point: your boyfriend could be annoyed with your want to go places, but the lack of effort to get their, and he could have (in the beginning) tried to do something to get you to put that effort in, but it didn't work so now he could be bitter or fed-up or both, or ofcaurse neither.

Do you guys just talk about things? News, TV, Sports (god forbid (Eu Football/Soccer are my only contact sports) he's insane about them), other things?

Some guys like to hear about their girls day, others don't (hence the previously stated two guy basic group types above).
It could very well be subconscious, and he doesn't really want to argue but t happens because of how he says things (happens alot with me ). Don't bring it up that "he's arguing and it's his fault" that won't help. you can either try and construct a cleaver way to break it to him that he argues alot without negativity, or try and find away to steer clear of it all in general.

think about how the conflicts arise in a his perspective (if possible) and yours to see about solutions.

As to the love part; do you care about him? would you do somethings for him? to you think about him? I think those are good things to ponder about the "Do I...?"

[keego]

Yeah our relationship is totally perfect like in connection wise..

like yeah we talk about the news, sports, movies, politics, fashion almost everything... even in everyday life .. like he'll always ask me "so what did you get up to today" and you know i'll tell him everything and he'd do the same. like i'd ask how his work was and stuff..

and sometimes if we're just laying around he'll bring up a conversation... not like he forces himself to, it just happens naturally

he'll always be like
" hey babe did you watch the news today, it was really interesting" or sometimes he'll be like " omg i like this movie , this actor is really good " and he'll ask me if i like him too

its only when it comes to me talking abt going somewhere with my friends but im not sure if im going or not.. i guess he doesnt like the way i talk about future things.. but now adays im not as stubborn as back then... like we argued then the next day i msged him and thats it.. like we dont keep fighting about it.

like i guess he use to say im stubborn n never say sorry but now i do cause i dont want to make things worse.. and then everything is okay... i dnt noe sometimes its annoying but oh wells.

we dont have conflicts.. we get along real well. jst the making up decison thing

[Amiel]

Ummm, you really need to check if your relationship with a person is stable without conflicts. If there are some conflicts with a relationship better fix it before something happen. Then, if you cant really fix it, better watchout for his/her doings.

E.G...

You ask or talk to the person and then he/she is avoiding you... [then there's something wrong]
You talk to the person and shouted at you... [there's something wrong]
You noticed he//she backstabb at you... [there's something wrong]

[keego]

Amiel, on Jan 23 2008, 11:44 PM, said:

Ummm, you really need to check if your relationship with a person is stable without conflicts. If there are some conflicts with a relationship better fix it before something happen. Then, if you cant really fix it, better watchout for his/her doings.

E.G...

You ask or talk to the person and then he/she is avoiding you... [then there's something wrong]
You talk to the person and shouted at you... [there's something wrong]
You noticed he//she backstabb at you... [there's something wrong]

Nah that doesn't happen , its like you know the love is all there, its jst minor things.. i mean you can't always have a perfect relationship without any fights.. but you know its just things like lil complaints about each other.. i mean we've been together for more then 3 years now.. its a very stable relationship... i guess im alright now.. ive been watching alot of comedy series just about relationships.. the thing you see in every single one of them is that they always have arguments about little things like not wanting to go shopping with the wife or gf.. well thats too common.. i guess mines okay now..

thanks for all the ppl that responded to my post.

[pursue77]

Listen. Men usually gives excuses to girls when
they are very busy at the moment or they have been seeing other girls at the moment and one of their favorite excuses
is,

"Sorry, I am kinda busy this week."

Heck...I am a man and I use this excuse ALL THE TIME
to turn women down.

It's innocent and you can turn away a person without
hurting his or her feelings.

Here's the truth: If a man is REALLY attracted to
you, he WILL find SOME time to hang out with you no matter
how busy he is - even if it is just one hour a week.

The only reason he won't is because he doesn't
like you "enough".

Let's use YOU as an example...

If you were absolutely CRAZY about a guy, do you think
you could spare an hour of your busy schedule this week to
have a cup of coffee with her?

I bet the answer is "yes".

The same principle applies to men. If he loves
you "enough", he will make SOME time for you - it's
as simple as that. So try to raise the attraction by pulling back and getting back
again.

[Evolke]

Well, my first and only love so far, was the type where there wasnt a sad moment in my day. I felt happy all the time, simply because I was in love. I didnt have to be around him, but just that mental thought that says, Im going to see him tomorrow was enough to brighten my day. I got butterflys in my stomach, and I could just sit staring into his eyes. It really was real movie type love

I guess that if that all stops, then you kinda know your not in love anymore ... but I guess everyone feels love indifferent ways. Look back at when you first met and how you felt when you were together, and compar it todays feelings. I guess thats the only help I can suggest.

[babyboomer]

Do you miss him/her when you are apart? That is the catch.

If you feel that other people can fill that emptyness then let it go...

Thanx.

[keego]

i just want to say thanks to all the people who bothered to reply to this post of mine.. just want to let you know im still with my man and october this year is gona be 4 years so yeah .. i guess i love him heaps .. and yeah i do miss him.. the feelings still there.
i guess what i felt earlier was just me being annoying with small things in the relationship.. so thanks again for who has posted here