7 replies to this topic

[Reekun]

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So if intelligence in itself is not a factor in popularity, why are smart kids so consistently unpopular? The answer, I think, is that they don't really want to be popular.

If someone had told me that at the time, I would have laughed at him. Being unpopular in school makes kids miserable, some of them so miserable that they commit suicide. Telling me that I didn't want to be popular would have seemed like telling someone dying of thirst in a desert that he didn't want a glass of water. Of course I wanted to be popular.

So I'm a smart kid at my school that girls like but nobody will ask me out because I hang out with the un-cool crowd.. If you were in my situation would you deal with the BS and stick with your friends or wander out into higher social groups just to get some girls

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The pressure of high school is immense. Nothing compared to college or a job, I am sure, but it still has it’s pressures and hardships and responsibilities. And it is so much fun anway. I mean, one minute, I am stressing over my Algebra 2 exam that I most certainly failed. Then, the next minute, I am free from school and all of it’s pressures are gone, finito, over.

I still have homework to do afterschool but I always find myself worrying about how i'm viewed and stuff, I just want to open up and be Reekun, you know?

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I don't mean to suggest they do this consciously. Some of them truly are little Machiavellis, but what I really mean here is that teenagers are always on duty as conformists.

For example, teenage kids pay a great deal of attention to clothes. They don't consciously dress to be popular. They dress to look good. But to who? To the other kids. Other kids' opinions become their definition of right, not just for clothes, but for almost everything they do, right down to the way they walk. And so every effort they make to do things "right" is also, consciously or not, an effort to be more popular.

Nerds don't realize this. They don't realize that it takes work to be popular. In general, people outside some very demanding field don't realize the extent to which success depends on constant (though often unconscious) effort. For example, most people seem to consider the ability to draw as some kind of innate quality, like being tall. In fact, most people who "can draw" like drawing, and have spent many hours doing it; that's why they're good at it. Likewise, popular isn't just something you are or you aren't, but something you make yourself.

Like someone can be the hottest guy in school, smart as a dime, fit as a fiddle, and yet still be unpopular as all heck. If he's the funniest guy in the class the jocks will still ignore him. The cheerleaders will still ignore him and go for the jock with no personality.

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Nerds would find their unpopularity more bearable if it merely caused them to be ignored. Unfortunately, to be unpopular in school is to be actively persecuted.

Why? Once again, anyone currently in school might think this a strange question to ask. How could things be any other way? But they could be. Adults don't normally persecute nerds. Why do teenage kids do it?

Partly because teenagers are still half children, and many children are just intrinsically cruel. Some torture nerds for the same reason they pull the legs off spiders. Before you develop a conscience, torture is amusing.

The brains of high schoolers do not develop for empathy unless they have been through hell and back, and what will they do if their futures are at stake?

For example, this jock was picking on my friend and I reported him anonymously and got him suspended for 3 days.

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Then, you have people like me, the floaters. We are the in-betweens. We do not really fit in anywhere. And I don’t really want to. I like to float from group to group. I talk about music with the punks, about school with the nerds, about sports practices with the various jocks, about hunting with the rednecks. Of course, there are some groups that even I am afraid to infiltrate. I am the person who wants to break up the high school hierarchy. I am the so-called rebel. And I love it! I would not trade it for the world.

I have so many friends. And they are so diverse. No one expects me to just stand back and be silent. If there is some unspoken teenage rule, I defy it. People know my beliefs and they know my stands. And they respect me for it. They know I am not going to crumble. So, they have basically quit trying. I have even gotten some of my new friends involved in church for the first time. People come to me for advice. They say I am a good friend to them. And it makes me so happy whenever I hear something like that. People’s appearences definately have nothing to do with the person that they are on the inside. I have definately learned that writing people off is not a good idea.

Bro's before Hoe's, Chicks before Dicks, and you will have all in all a good life.

A girl I know says that in high school she liked nerds, but was afraid to be seen talking to them because the other girls would make fun of her. Unpopularity is a communicable disease; kids too nice to pick on nerds will still ostracize them in self-defense.

I just want to say that I'm writing an article on my site www.gnarfard.com in my rants section about high school BS and I would like to publicly announce that love triangles in high school are gay and that chicks turn good kids into total jerks. That's all, thanks.

Edited by Reekun, 03 February 2008 - 02:28 AM.

[Wynter]

I am clapping my hands, too much respect really .. very nice language, unique writing style , and too straight to the point ..
Yeah, I totally agree with you although I've never been a either a nerd or a jock. Talking with nerds has become an indictment, " You are talking with nerds ?? Oh my god! you are one of them"! as if you are talking with a drug dealer or a prostitute, those nerds whom are not seeking fame in school or college, get that fame later after they become popular scientists (Who doesn't know whose Einstein?).
lol.. I am becoming a Nerd Defender, well.. I also don't agree with nerds, you can't just ignore the primary roles of life, get a nice converse, a fashionable T, a cool pair of Jeans and don't listen to Three Days Grace .

[awesomebill61]

i am the most academically succesful kid in my senior class. Highest ACT score. #1 class ranking, 4.0 student.... and most people love me. No one would consider me a nerd. I work out and i study.... i try to have a balance in my life.

over my 4 years of high school, i've changed my viewpoint on nerds to that they are not smart people, but rather people with sub-par communication skills.... there are plenty of people in the world who are very very smart, yet still personable and able to communicate.

but, the stuff you wrote about doing stuff just to fit in is right. Girls like me, they flirt with me, go crazy when they see me, hug me, etc... but the only ones that i can ever hook up with are the new ones... just because they don't see it as the status quo not to hook up with me... how that became the status quo i'll never know.


....its all over in 4 months anyways.

Edited by awesomebill61, 03 February 2008 - 03:04 AM.

[Elessar]

Two thumbs up! I clap my hands and bow to whoever that author is. I really liked the way she/he defends people with higher intelligence capabilities.

Anyhoo, in my school (we call it secondary school) nerds aren't really treated like the way they are in the Western countries, say, the US, because nerds get respected here, albeit only by some. I'm not really a nerd but I'm among the top in my class so naturally people see me as the clever boy who excels at academic stuff but I SUCK at relationships with girls. Everybody knows I fall heads over heels over this charming girl for over 2 years and what they say about me really made me sad and angry. So in a way I think they don't confront nerds or make big headlines/statements about them, they just try to find whatever the nerds' weaknesses/mistakes are and backstab them. That's the way it works in my school.

People from other classes (scoring less in academic performance) also views my friends, the top students, as some sort of weirdos that talk weird and act weird. Some even loathe me. See, we go to this popular tuition school and my essay keeps selected as model essay and naturally people know me as the clever boy whose essays are top-notch. Yet this earns me dislike, not surprisingly, from guys from other schools.

See, in our education system, academic performance is very much emphasised and everything is exam oriented. Yet this changes the way people treats us.

Edited by Elessar, 05 February 2008 - 05:09 PM.

[Reekun]

this is as of 3:00 so the ending doesn't really apply anymore

Okay, it started this morning when one of her friends wrote me a note asking if I decided who my Valentine would be. I said I'm not sure I'd have one because there's a senior that might already ask her. She asked me if the girl was in this class, and I said yeah, she was 4 feet away. She guessed Christina, and I said she was right. She wrote back, "omg that's soooooo cute!" but then Christina, who was 4 feet away got interested and asked what we were writing about. There were also some guys who wanted to get the note and everything, realizing it was something important

So after 1st period in the hall with her, she kept saying like, "tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me!!!!" and she wouldn't leave me alone. I couldn't tell if she was serious or not because she was smiling at me all day, but I knew that she was curious. We went through 2nd period the same way, except her best friend got involved. After 2nd period, Christina, her best friend, and I were walking down the hallway and I asked her best friend if she sort of knew what I was keeping secret

she said she thinks so, so I said I would give her a hint, and I put my arm almost completely around Christina's shoulder and was like, "You look REALLY nice today" (in a joking manner, unfortunately), and she was like, "thanks! But you're still gonna tell me!" but her best friend understood, even though Christina was seemingly oblivious. So, at lunch, I talked to her best friend, and asked what my chances were with her. She was like, "Do you want the hard truth?" And I was like, "Ok, hurt me." She said my chances were slim to none.

It's because that guy in her church (who apparently is the GNARFARD I thought went to my school, guess only 1 guy likes her) has been liking her for almost 2 years now, and she's actually likes him A LOT (I venture to say loved) him for almost a year now, and she's hoping that Justin is gonna ask her out. Good news: He's 17, and he's moving out this year, and the only time she sees him is at church.

Also, she doesn't really talk about me much when I'm not around, and her best friend said there's no real signs that she likes me more than just a friend. Not sure if this is for better or for worse, but I made her best friend feel REALLY guilty about it, and now she's one of the many friends who are helping me in my endeavor. Now I'm getting tips from her closest friend, which is a big up. I even got her cell phone number this afternoon.

Anyways, it's a 100% thing now that I can't say I like her on/before V-day, that's what her best friend said, with many "sorry"s at the end. So, she's suggesting I give her something anonymous, and for her to deliver it, saying someone else might like you, to keep her guessing. I can either build up my relationship with her at a steady rate and wait till my sophomore year (which is VERY unlikely), or start taking action fast (I'll prolly do this one) and pray and pray and pray that she'll notice me.

If I keep it like that, the only 2 things I have to worry about is 1. this Gnarfard Guy, and 2. my patience

Oh, and a temporary problem is that she still wants to know what was on the note, and I can't tell her that I like her, that would ruin her whole perspective of me.

Gnarfard = censored guys name
ty.

[iGuest]

  Do you think these so-called jocks define what popular is??? Through the defintion given by most people jocks couldn't define a word with a mind reading dictionary. The real truth is popular is not defined by just the kids deemed that, but for the most part by the kids who aren't. They choose words to describe these people that places them above them in the hierarchy of things, in a way submitting or "conforming" to the idea that some way these people are better than they are. 

  I personally am an outspoken 18 year old senior in high school and you can say far from your typical. I'm a starter on a powerhouse football team, I watch shows like Stargate, The Colbert Report, and CNN on a regular basis, I also am at the top percentile in the state for testing, and to be honest I'm an outright asshole. I like to think of my self as the new school Hugh Laurie lol.  I was the main benefactor in the shaping of my mind! Yea I watched lots of violent t.V., I got whippings, and never studied, but I can honestly say I have never been a victim of anyone ever trying to get me to conform. They love me because I love me and am able to express who I am.

  I think that in high school everyones main fear is to fail. So when you choose a path away from the norm, which produces the highest success rate, people expect you to have reasoning and be able to explain yourself thoroughly. Also there are problems alot of times in high school where kids who are just "normal" try to "create an identity" for themselves in a rapid manner. By hanging with a certain group and assimilating into its ideas an other kids can easily pickup these rapid changes and call them out for it, which makes them cling to their new group even more.

As far as girls go, they tend to go the way of everything else. In order to break these barriers people need to observe their terminology, such as when using words like "self"-esteem and "self"-confidence. Thats not how anyone else makes you feel thats how you make you feel and thats what your going to portray onto the world. Take it from me with those two things you will start to develop you speech skills which is the most important tool a person has.

So excuse me for going Dr. House on ya'll, but you can either sit here and cry about how much you hated that jock or this cheerleader; You can get all pissy and cry yourself to sleep about the bang bros session  your girlfriend had with the football team, or you can realize that life is tough and the hardest part about it is yourself. You were the reason you didn't have friends. Reason being you couldn't figure out that things didn't revolve around what you had, but who you were. Not the tag you were given, because if as a person they were able to pin you down to one group you failed to differentiate yourself from a group. You might have been funny, handsome, gorgeous, athletic, smart, and rich all in one but if you were not "self" confident and have "self"-esteem it would not have mattered. You must be able to TALK and EXPRESS your belifs in a manner that other people can understand. If you feel they don't deserve to know who you are because they never try to find out you right, but you did not deserve to have any friends.

Sorry for the rant but I'm a an angry jock/nerd/rebel/gangsta/womanizer/black man tired of the whining on the both sides of the fence.  So I guess the words for today are Expression and intiative.People don't know they don't care, they know and they don't care you shouldn't!!Plain and simple. It works for me.

P.S. Peer pressure doesn't exist!! 

-reply by Mr. Arrogant

[iGuest]

It's funny, I'm just writing an assignment for my english exam. I am writing about hierarchy and a lot of stuff that is going on in the US high schools and how common it is in your daily schoollife. I am from Denmark and in our schools there is no kinds of hierarchy. We don't wear uniforms but still we seem equal. We do you have to suffer in high school because you feel ashamed of yourselves? What is cool, is to be different and to express yourself! Danish students laugh about all that jocks and cheerleading popularity, it is silly to feel ashamed about being a nerd, it is cool to be good in school and you come much more far in your life than the stupid boys and girls who play cool know./txtmngr/images/smileys/smiley2.Gif  Just an opinion from an 15-year old Danish girl :)

-reply by Danish