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What I've Learned From Living With A Disability


7 replies to this topic

#1 Eye_of_Wonder

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Posted 13 November 2008 - 05:53 PM

I've lived with a disability my whole life. It's a mental disorder called Asperger's. It's also a mild form of Autism.
When I was first diagnosed (before age 6), nobody believed I would ever be able to survive in society.
I've proved them wrong.

Asperger's is a real mental disability, because it delayed my social development drastically. But it didn't stop me
from living with others. It just made it harder.

Here's a list of what I've learned:

1.) Some people might live according to their 'labels', but I've learned that such methods normally cause them to short-change themselves in terms of skill and social development/expectations.

2.)People who have problems (no matter the size or impact) need to both ask for and accept help when it's available.
Help is only available if you accept the fact that it's required, and act on that knowledge.

3.)NEVER insist on handling your problem/disability on your own. If you are isolated in your attempts, they are more likely to fail. Remember: Nobody is EVER really alone.

4.)If you have been given a disability 'Label', don't let it control your life. A label merely identifies a BARRIER, which can be overcome if you make the attempt to do so.

5.)You're life is loaded to the brim with choices, including the choice to disregard this entire forum post. I can't force anyone to follow my advice, but I can at least make it available to others.

Thanks for reading the above message. I hope it helps someone.
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#2 kobra500

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Posted 13 November 2008 - 07:08 PM

I'm dispraxic, i'm glad to say I've grown out of the condition, There is no real cure, It still affects my every day life, just it's not as bad, my form is not a strong form however, It makes me disorganised, I am very disorganised, clumsy and often forget things, on a humourous note it causes me to run up and down a room when I get excited :lol:, usually when I imagine something exiteing. But I laugh at it now, it slowed my social growing, i was very socially poor a few years back, im finally standing on my feet, when I was younger I used to ALWAYS bump into lampposts etc and I have trouble with sport due to a problem it causes in joints and co-ordination.

But as i said, I've grown out of it, but ive had to pay the price socially, I have had little experience in relationships and all though I never used to give a crap what people think, I find I do and do now more and more, which is good, it's made me better myself. you have to fight your disability and I agree, don't label yourself because then your just setting yourself up to fall!
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#3 Echo_of_thunder

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Posted 13 November 2008 - 08:15 PM

Speaking for myself I too know of what it like growing up with a Disabilty. I have Spina bifiada which effects the spinal cord. In a wheelchair for most of my life. I know it first hand how hard things get not only for you but for the familly of someone with special needs. But life must go on. I have learned to over come a lot of the problems in life being in a chair. I am able to use a walker for a short walk. but most of the time it is spent in the chair.
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#4 Eye_of_Wonder

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Posted 13 November 2008 - 09:01 PM

The one thing that really miffs me is that some people are apparently of the belief that a disablity must be a physical and obvious one to deserve proper treatment from anyone. I know that people are entitled to their opinions (no matter how biased), though.

Here in Maine, people with mental disabilities have been targeted by the legislature and governor for most of the budget cuts in services,
even though the cuts will cause higher costs from people needing more intense care/intervention.

I hope for a better situation under Obama, but I'm going to actively work towards a better system to be sure.
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#5 kobra500

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Posted 13 November 2008 - 09:12 PM

I concur, I should be entitled to extra time in tests, being legally diagnosed with dispraxia and my handwriting being awful as well as the strain writing puts on me but the board turns its nose up suggesting I have not done this test and this one and in truth I have. The best the school could do was give me some handwriting sheets designed for people with a mental condition which has the effect of giving them a mental age of a lot less than their own age I mean, I'm an intelligent person, no offence to people who suffer from low mental ages however, it's a fact theres no getting round it. I'm sure billy bee would love to help me write better :lol:. This is why I love computers, typing is not affected by handwriting.
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#6 anwiii

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Posted 14 November 2008 - 01:46 AM

hmmm...normally i don't like quoting a whole post but your post was so well written, i couldn't figure out how to limit it and decided not to limit the quote at all. my wife's son was diagnosed with what you were diagnosed with. it has been a roller coaster for me to understand this disability and at the same time not limit this person with any label. this young man is limited in some ways and excells in other ways. i looked at other people and tried to compare and what i came up with is that everyone is limited in their own ways and everyone excells in other ways. what i especially loved about your post were the things you've learned. #1 is something i HATE because labels will never define someone and what they are capable of. #2 i love because i always told this young man to ask for any help when he needed it. although to understand this disability is to understand this man didn't like asking for help. in fact, he always had a hard time opening up to very many people. but i wanted to let him know that the help was there if he ever needed it(not that that was a condition for me helping him). i liked #4 especially because i feel his own family labeled him and it has limited him. they had a pre conceieved notion that he wouldn't be able to do the things other people can do and i've heard them use this label so many times it made me sick knowing a label can create more harm than good and create a learned experience where the child may actually believe he CAN'T.

i've been critisized by certain family memebers because they think i don't wish to see this young man's disability. and they critisize me for treating this boy close to normal or how i would interact with anyone else. for me though, i see it, i acknowledge it, but i'll never use it against this boy by limiting his own talents and dreams that he keeps hidden inside him. for me, wether anyone sees it, i know how to push and test this young man's abilities to understand more what he is actually capable of so i can be sensitive to that and maybe show him something his own family never did by believing in a label. if you ask me, the ones that believe in a label is allowing the disability to grow where it shouldn't and that is just plain wrong.

on a side note here, i think you have probably come a long way here. your post was very professional and well written to inform others. i read your profile as well and i wish you luck in your vision to create your community you're working on

i think you should write more about your experiences being diagnosed aspergers autism, you write well and have a way with words and i feel it can benifit others if you write more on it and your personal experiences.



I've lived with a disability my whole life. It's a mental disorder called Asperger's. It's also a mild form of Autism.
When I was first diagnosed (before age 6), nobody believed I would ever be able to survive in society.
I've proved them wrong.

Asperger's is a real mental disability, because it delayed my social development drastically. But it didn't stop me
from living with others. It just made it harder.

Here's a list of what I've learned:

1.) Some people might live according to their 'labels', but I've learned that such methods normally cause them to short-change themselves in terms of skill and social development/expectations.

2.)People who have problems (no matter the size or impact) need to both ask for and accept help when it's available.
Help is only available if you accept the fact that it's required, and act on that knowledge.

3.)NEVER insist on handling your problem/disability on your own. If you are isolated in your attempts, they are more likely to fail. Remember: Nobody is EVER really alone.

4.)If you have been given a disability 'Label', don't let it control your life. A label merely identifies a BARRIER, which can be overcome if you make the attempt to do so.

5.)You're life is loaded to the brim with choices, including the choice to disregard this entire forum post. I can't force anyone to follow my advice, but I can at least make it available to others.

Thanks for reading the above message. I hope it helps someone.


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#7 wingman23

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Posted 02 December 2008 - 04:51 AM

This was a really interesting insight and answered some of my worries over being disabled. Im not disabled myself but my partner and i have just had a baby son who was born with ceribral palsy, we both love him to bits but my main worry, well heartache really, is how society will treat him as he grows older. i watch him as he lays in his cot sometimes and wonder what sort of life he will have, how people will see him, treat him simply because he is different.

i do believe that people need educating that just because you are dissabled, that you still feel things,inside your head you are no different to everybody else
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#8 iAssistant

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Posted 03 August 2011 - 10:53 AM

I admire you for proving them wrong! Well, I've been disable (I can't walk) for more than 2 years. Because of that, I dream more and I act more because I don't want to be useless, I find job online and I gain more confidence than when I can walk because even if I am disable, I can able to work and I can be able to have fun.
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