3 replies to this topic

[melbourneboy]

I could not understand what actually a girl wants from their partner or bf, or a guy. I am abroad now, pursuing my study and she is in her home country.

Last night she told she do not want to continue this relationship with me . I was shocked. Actually what happen is her father does not like this relationship and she do not want to go against her father. She used to stick with this decision even though she desperately loves me. But once, she was deeply in love with me that she told she will go against her parents and will come with me. I was so happy in her decision. I feel as if I got everything. I told her to talk with her parents about our relationship or else I would talk. But she told she would talk. When she went for one month holiday to her home country, we are totally out of contact. Later I asked her what do her parents told, and she told her parents did not agreed. And she do not want to continue this relationship. I asked why and she told she do not have any more feeling towards me. I was shocked. She even told me why I went so far. To make conform, I even asked to take oath on me and she took and told she does not like to continue this relationship. I was about to cry but I controlled when I heard this. So, I told her I will not contact her any more. But she told she will contact if she feels and she even told me "I love you" and I pretend I do not heard and I did not gave any reply and before whenever she used to say the word "I love you" and if I did not replied, she used to get angry.

So, do distance kills love or if you are not so much in contact with your partner and cannot share your feelings, then does it decreases love that you have inside you for your partner. Ya, sometime if we cannot talk with our partner when we want then we feel very bad and get high temper. But if you cannot be in touch with your partner due to some work, does this mean that our love is no more. I know she loves me and cannot forget me. She is telling this to get rid of this pain as she feels that nothing can happen to this relationship and she do not want more pain. She once wanted me to come back to our home country and I told I would not. And she told I never used to listen to her and can't do anything for her. I just only talk and do not act. But I am not like that. There is some people who do not express their love even though you love them so much and I am that kind of guy. Is it wrong?

I want to talk with her and patch up but as she clearly told me that she do not want this relationship any more, I think I should not. I know if I tried to convince her that I love her so much, she gonna agree but I do not want to beg in front of her. If I gave her more priority then her demand will be more. I feel that if she really love me before and still loves me then no matter what happen, she will come back to my life. But what if she had the same thinking. She might be thinking like this.

I cannot figure out what should I do?

[iGuest]

What went wrong in all ?I Cannot Figure Out What Went Wrong.....

Well, it was not any relationship with her but a very nice friendship I have ever could find. In few critical situations she was very helpful and volunteered with best advices. Of course this made me feel a bit more closer to her. She tolerated my advances few times but very gently expressing her views too which are only for this friendship and nothing more. The cultural differences made it all more complicated in restraining myself. Still she was patient enough and decently tried to put the demarcations. Until I wrote this small letter nothing of that did really made feel but for one line. The next meeting she asked an explanation from me over this line. When I failed to explain it all as I was never really serious on this line. She felt it bad and we had to depart on this occasion at least for few days on her request. Though initially I could bear it as it was mistake, and I kept my silence.. Even now. Slowly the fear started in me if she would ever contact me for a normal friendship also. But of course that is what she promised that we have to talk another time. But my fears are growing every day and doubts getting bigger. I only wish that she doesn't make it a big issue over this letter as she always knew me and my expressions. Still now as my fear is growing I want to know "what might have went wrong, if, that might stop her contact me for ever !" /txtmngr/images/smileys/smiley5.Gif /txtmngr/images/smileys/smiley6.Gif

-question by Anonymous

[jullaby]

I guess if you really love each other you should both be mature and be honest to yourself and each other. No point denying and lying to save yourself from hurt if you really want something out of this relationship.

I guess you should act instead of thinking that giving her priority will spoil her. and you don't even have to beg, I think begging is wrong because if she really hurts to be with you, begging her will only put her in a dilemma which is kinda forceful and you don't force people into relationships.

Write her an email. Written words are best because they are in black and white and you can organise your thoughts properly to write what u truly feel. The other party can also read and understand better since its clearly written and they can reread it over and ponder over it more carefully. Be COMPLETELY sincere and honest. Ego shouldn't be involved here. Just tell her what you feel about you and her and how you want this to work out together. Let her know how much you are willing to do for her and explain your limits. However don't in anyway sound forceful, just tell her what you want and what you can give and the decision is now up to her.

Thats what I feel will should work, i hope it helps

[k_nitin_r]

Hi!

If she's been away from you for a whole month and you've never talked to her then that is really disturbing. If you wanted her to upset her family and be with you, she certainly would have felt betrayed if you hadn't spoken to her for that long. And after what your negative response to her over the phone, I can say it would be extremely difficult to patch things up with her. You really ought to put your ego aside because when you truly love somebody, you wouldn't really shouldn't second thoughts like you do right now.

Regards,
Nitin Reddy