15 replies to this topic

[humhaiking]

sorry to make this abit long but i want to tell you in detail so you can help me and advice me better. please have some patients

i am 20 and i fall in love with a girl two years agao. we fall in love in college. we both started that college newly and fell in love. she came and approached me first and we both fell in deep love with in a week. we loved each other madly and made so much beautiful memories. everybody in the college use to call use romeo and juliet. we would never been seen separate. we will always be seen huggin and kissing in and around the college. we use to txt each other as we open our eyes and stop txting when our eyes closed itself at night, but you see love never comes alone it brings millions of problems and troubles with it.

she belong to a quite rich and strong family. strong as in her dad and brother have good links with proper dangerous and gangster people. we both spent only first 5 months in peace then her family finds out about us. her family threaten me to death to leave their daughter but i never left her and her family torture her like hell and same she never left me. two years we both been together even though being in so much trouble.

but only since end of apirl everything went wrong. her older sister and her sisters sons died and her sister husband (whole family died in a car accident). she use to love them alot and this had a great affect on her. she went in to so much deppression. i tried my best to be there for her and ease her grief but most of the time she will tell me she need time so she want to be alone. i can do this much for her so i left her alone but do txt her and talk to her every day but not as much as before. i see her most of the time being alone by herself and when i go to her she would say she want to be alone so i leave her alone. as days went pass she start feeling better and she start spending times with her girl mates. i use to miss her madly and wanted to be around her so i would go up to her and tell her why she doing this to me, that she tell me she need time but she spend time with her firend why cant she spend it with me as i miss her madly. she would igonre and avoid me and say she need space and time. then slowly i start caughting her having laugh with other boys in the college and she spends time with them. this broked me i went to her and asked and she would give clearification that there nothing going on and she love me but need time, but it would be so obvious that you can tell she is lying. but i use to forgive her because i love her madly and don't want to lose her. i ask her she spend time with other boys why not with me, she would just comletely ignore it.

then one day i caught her emails and some picture with a boy (i knew her email password as she told me once long ago but she has forgetten that she told me) . she wrote the email to a boy that how she love him and the pictures showed how she been spending time with him and she wrote on his arm with a pen that she love him. i know you can understand how i felt at that time. it just killed me. when i asked her about it, as i said she would give clearifications which would be obvious that she is lying. she said to me that she love me madly but how she is so *BLEEP*ed up so she want me to hate her so i can live a better life and move on. i said to her i still love her and hugged her and forget about it.

then one day she told me how that boy came to her house with his dad and his and her dad are best friends and her dad want her to get married to him and how she is so helpless. she has to get married to him as i explained how her family is very strong. so i understand her problem and said ok no problem. but on one hand she would txt me and on other she would be txt him and lying she is not. i still take that in as i loved her madly.

but one day it was just to much. when we both went to college to get our grades she told me that how that boy is coming to college and want to meet her. i said ok. she went out the college to meet him as i suspected her so i followed. when i saw them two hugging and kissing this just killed me and i was so broken but this time i couldn't take it. so when that guy left i asked her. she said i did it porpusly so you can hate me as i am not good for you. i said to her i still love you alot but unfortantly i can't be with you anymore as your body is not clean for me anymore. even if i want to kiss you i wont be able to. so we both offically broked.

i see this as she has moved on beacuse she got a better option then me. her biggest dream was to mary me and she use to say if we dont end up marrying she would burn herself but it was also very clear to us that no matter how much we try and do we will never be able to get married. so i think she moved on with him and this has also made her family life alot better as she dont have to get torture anymore coz of me by her family.

i want to also move on and but the problem is this she is my first and real love. we both loved each other deeply and she has done hell alot for me that which nobody would do and has give me more love than i dreamed. when i think about moving on i just can't imagine any other girl on her place. like the way we met and fall in love. the beautiful memories we made. these two years are the best two years of my life. i think how some one can give me better then this when she has gave me the best out of the best. this is the honest truth the two years we spend together was real and honest.

the people in college and who ever know us use to say we are example to the world as we both were in love madly. she is so beautiful and so romantic. i still feel the same love for her. sometime i think even if i get maried or get old i will still love her the same and miss her.

i want some advice how to move on. will i get a girl who is better then her (where as my heart say no girl better then her), will any girl be able to love me more then her. will she would be able to give me more happiness than her. seriouly i don't know how to move on. i just can even think of any other girl. i love her alot. but i know i wont be able to take her back ever as i got self respect for me but cant even stay without her. i want to know will i ever be able to fall in love again. she was my first and real love and these two years i can never forget. but i really want to move on with life. so please someone with experince tell me and explain how to move on and get over.

[Nameless_]

Well, I must say, your life is very much of a Drama...

But first things first!!! Welcome to Trap17!!!
I wouldn't want to sound commercial in a thread like this but if you are looking for free hosting at Trap17, then you should probably sign up at Xisto's Support and Billing Centre. Just press the client link and sign up there...

But anyway, back on topic.

One phrase from Romeo and Juliet:
"The course of true love never did run smooth." - Shakespeare

No wonder your friends called you two Romeo and Juliet...

I really don't know why she changed her mind... but obviously she did. Why did her family hate you so much in the first place? Do you have any idea why? Can you change it?

No, I suppose not. But if she has left you, if you has dumped you and forgotten you, and if she has moved on from you, you probably should on her too...

No point wasting your time in daydreaming and thinking of what could have been between the two of you. MOVE ON.
Get another girl that's probably better than her, or at least the same, and sooner or later you will find that there are many more girls out there, and that you will find that you have moved on from her.

If she has from you, then you will from her.

It has been proven that a person can have more than one potential partner for life, so she's not the only one...

[freshpub]

I do not wish to upset you humhaiking, but it doesn't sound to me like you relationship was meant to be.

You must try and move on. Go out with friends, meet new people, take up a new hobby if you have to but forget about her. There is many more women in the world, and definetely a few of them will be a better match for you. Don't necessarily look for a new love. There is nothing wrong with a strong and solid friendship.

It is very much possible to love again after heart-break. Although my circumstances were hugely differrent, I sai 'never again' once. And now I'm engaged and planning a wedding with my very lovely man and our three little monsters.

You will find soneone new, just give it time...

[buxgoddess]

Love happens only once and the rest is life.

[iGuest]

everything that God allows 2 come our way is with a purpose...He uses even the greatest error and deepest hurt to mold us into a better person. Don't count things u have lost, cherish what u have & plan what to gain..Past never returns but future may fulfill d loss.Don't let your mind become cluttered with worries..It leaves less room for the good stuff, pray, relax, let go & let God take over.

Sometimes God breaks our spirit to save our soul, sometimes he breaks our heart to make us whole, sometimes God send us pain so we can be stronger. Sometimes, God sends us failure so we can be HUMBLE.

I really can feel you, We been the same way, but a different story, but the same way cheated. I really can feel how your heart feels, the feeling of killing you softly. But I tell you, Prayers wont go wrong. Read a bible everyday, read at least 1-5 verses and you will feel this very smooth feeling. There is always a right time for everything, a time to heal a broken heart,  time to forgive, a time to move on and a time give yourself respect. Love yourself more and you can love someone better. 

You know what? I've been broken 2 days ago.We have a son and he lies to me and I find out he has another woman, it kills me. But there is a time for everything...As what I said Prayer wont go wrong. I hope it helps you. And will both Find true love that is unconditional. God bless 

-reply by lyresh

[D. Benitez]

Dear Humhaiking,

My heart goes out to you. I can feel the pain as I read your story. Love is a very difficult thing and a very beautiful thing also, when it is the right person.

First, most people do not end up with their first love, but it is nice if you do, but then again, your first love could end up being the wrong one down the road if you jump into things because of a feeling you think is so real. I am not saying your feelings or hers were not real, they are, but love is not just a feeling. It's a lifetime committment that you will love that person forever, even when they change in looks, etc.

I personally don't think she was the one for you. There are many problems there. Her family plays a big role in her life and who she ends up with. She is controlled by them. Now, it is right that she honor her family wishes because family will affect your marriage if they did not agree with the person she picked which will make your life miserable, her life miserable and also will affect your children. Her family from what you say are rough people and it is best not to push things. Move on with your life. Don't make it a thing that you go out with friends and meet new people becuase there is danger there too. You might jump into another relationship that is not of God and you'll be in for another let down.

My advise to you comes from the Bible. "Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added unto you". Matthew 6:33. Forget getting into another relationship with someone when you could only get hurt again. Seek God. God says: "Draw close to me, and I will draw close to you. Get to know God better. Read his word, ask Him to come into your life and live in your heart, to lead and guide you. Make God your focus and you will fulfill Matthew 6:33.

Yes, you will fall in love again, if you let God bring that special someone in your life. Don't look, just seek God, get closer to Him and you will turn around and the true love of your life, other than God will be there. When that day comes, you will realize that the other one was not the true one that was for you. Your wound is fresh right now and you need time. God will heal that wound and give you the desires of your heart, to fall in love again.

I pray I could help in some way. My prayers are with you.

In His Love,

D. Benitez

[anwiii]

i am going to say something out of the blue here that nobody caught. maybe there are some underlying issues here that either you did not state or she did not tell you. sounds to me she still loves you. she may have backed down because of her family or something else that seems to be making her insecure.

doesn't sound like you have closer on this issue. to move on, you need closer. my advice is not to move on too soon. if she IS insecure about something, she may need you more now than ever and walking away could be a big mistake if you love her.

what's needed here is tlc and a lot of understanding. there may be something about her past you do not know. i would try and find out.

good luck to you. you will have to determine for yourself if the drama is worth the love you have for her though. think about it before you dig too deep with her. once you open doors, she may never be the same as you knew her before.

[humhaiking]

i want to thank you all for giving me advice and making me feel slightly better. thank you for such support.
i know god do everything and god do it for the best. you know guys i believe in god and it was god who bringed that girl in my life. i can still remember that how she saw me and came to me and i didn't paid attention but then in one week she won me over and we were in love madly for two years. and it was god who bringed that girl and love in to my life and now it is god who took her away. but i am very broken and hurt and unble to forget her as she is my first love. that why i was here to gain some vauable adivce so i can move on. i really want to hold myself and move on but how when i am so broken. as you said pray so i will pary and wait for god to send an other girl but i hope i do able to take this pain.
it just dam too painful

[iGuest]

my advice to youCan You Fall In Love Agin After Been Cheated By Your First And Realy Love

Look man I been in a similar situation,yea I understand that she is your first love,and its only natural that you still feel this way towards her,but bro the best thing for you to do is move on, you got no choice but to do it, I truely don't think there is ahy grl out there that can love you more then her, but let me tell u its alot of beautiful grls out there that can love you just as good,

-reply by kenny

[iGuest]

to give adviceCan You Fall In Love Agin After Been Cheated By Your First And Realy Love

yaar I'm also cheated by a girl who love me alot like you but prev. Days she tells me that shedon't love me and she have no feelings of love for me that I ever wanting from her

leave it !

ma view for you is that you have to give one more chance  and you have to support her for having confidence on you

forget the past ,every moment that hurts you and help her 

because she also need help .The accident  which take the cyclone in her life.Which is a very big wrong turn in her life

so you have to co-operate once more with  her .For your love 

forget every thing 

make your love and lover confident on you.

-reply by vishal