9 replies to this topic

[justaguy]

Hi guys,

I recently moved into a new place for a new job and I am sharing an apartment with this girl. At first I wasnt attracted to her, however since I didnt have any friends in the area so I started hanging around with her. I went to the beach, restaurants, pool, jacuzzi, watched movies, for 3 weeks now. She broke up her engagement some time back, obviously before meeting me and had moved into this new apartment and was looking for a roommate. And then I land up there as her roommate and all these activities have been going around. We text, chat and talk a lot daily. I would say maximum number of times she initiates texting and tells me to come online to chat. However she asked me last night whether I like her and I am still settling into this new job and place and at this time have not thought about a relationship yet. So I told her I have not thought about it yet. To be frank, I will be looking not for one night stands but for a girl whom I like, Although my opinion has somewhat changed towards her since I first met, but am not sure at this point, what I want.

Can anybody help me in solving this, that should I go for this girl or should I just let it continue as it going on now?

I would appreciate your answers. Thanks guys.

[Unknown_99]

My best opinion is to not rush anything. Continue within the same manner and see if these feelings continually expand. For instance, you somehow feel the need to always be around her etc, these are feelings that show you really want to be with her. Perhaps, if she really does love you she will come out and tell you, not saying that is always the case with girls as some may prefer for you to be the first to initiate the relationship to start.

For instance her asking you if you like her could perhaps be a sign but could also just mean if your comfortable being around her. Perhaps she may feel shes being bothersome and just want company from breaking up from her past relationship. These are some things to look into. Hence why my reason stating not to rush within any relationship.

[Echo_of_thunder]

Unknown_99, on Sep 24 2009, 02:49 PM, said:

My best opinion is to not rush anything. Continue within the same manner and see if these feelings continually expand. For instance, you somehow feel the need to always be around her etc, these are feelings that show you really want to be with her. Perhaps, if she really does love you she will come out and tell you, not saying that is always the case with girls as some may prefer for you to be the first to initiate the relationship to start.

For instance her asking you if you like her could perhaps be a sign but could also just mean if your comfortable being around her. Perhaps she may feel shes being bothersome and just want company from breaking up from her past relationship. These are some things to look into. Hence why my reason stating not to rush within any relationship.

I really have to agree 110% on that. just be cool and things will fall into place
Good Luck

[jsmith091009]

Hello everyone Here
I am agree with unknown_99 very much.See If girls like you, she will give some sign and she will care for you.And don't think that she loves you if she spend more time with you or she does more chatting with you.It may be that she is just passing the time with you as a friend only. as justaguy descibed that she had just broken the engagment.so it amy be that she is using you to forget her past.so my suggestion is you dont purpose her, If she really likes you she will sure do .and if she proposed you that she really love you and that tipy of love will be forever.

[Spyda]

Nobody can help you figure this problem out besides yourself. It seems like the main reason you began liking her is because you don't have many options since you just moved into a new place. That's never a good reason to fall for somebody.

[gisellebebegirl]

Dont rush things with the girl, and dont say things you do not feel, because you are going to hurt her
just let her know that you want to think slowly, and you are not sure if you feel anyting towards her yet
but she is a great person etc. let her down easily!

[anwiii]

all she asked is if you liked her. obviously you do or you wouldn't be hanging out with her. but what she is REALLY asking is if there is a portential of a relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend. so....she's putting you on the spot. best thing to be is truthfull. don't lead her on if you're not interested in a relationship and don't NOT lead her on if you are unsure.

so what she is really asking is where you stand with her. be honest. no harm, no foul even if she wants more. just be honest. if all you're looking for right now is a friend and someone to hang out with, then tell her that.

the fact that you are posting about your situation and asking advice wether you should jump in to a relationship means you SHOULD NOT! you're not ready. although she may be feeling something different, be honest and hopefully she can keep enjoying your company knowing you are just friends.

if you really care about her and she starts spending time with someone else, don't blame her or make her feel guilty. your life was more important than her. remember that.....

[roger112]

I personally think that you should just go for it man!

the fact that you're asking for advice is very honourable man and i respect you for that. In life you meet a lot of people and it really goes back to you and how you really feel about each and every one of them. Judging by what you say happened, I think it would be fair if you give her and yourself a chance.

the way you guys met is the most romantic and 'proper' way of knowing each other and I like the fact she took the initiative and asked how you feel about her. the only reason why you might be hesitant to get into a relationship is because she might be using you as the 'rebound' guy which is something that can later come back to haunt the relationship. I understand if you decided to give it some more time so that she clears her head and figures what is right for her since she just came out of a serious affair.

Good luck man, all the best!

[Parubilla]

I think you should let the things flow and see what happens. The girl just broke off an engagement so I do not think the feelings she had just gone away in 3 weeks, she might be confused, since probably you are the only guy she is hanging around with, and for you the same thing, if you are a 100 percent sure, that you do not want to be in a relationship just tell her that you want to settle down in the new city first before having a sentimental commitment to someone, but anyways only time will tell. If you are not sure don´t say anything you do not want to be moving again anytime soon

[Harlot]

I don't think anything can decide if you should fall for "this girl" or not. I don't think that you can even decide that. It usually just happens, you fall for a girl or you don't. From your post, it seems that you like her and that you guys have a lot of chemistry. Nevertheless, as I stated before, it is up to your whether or not your decide to pursue a relationship with her or not. It sounds like she is interested in a relationship, and if you wish for one also you should act quickly. It was probably a turn off to her for you to say that you have "not thought about it yet". She will probably begin to start thinking that you're gay. You should of told her that your feelings for her have changed, but you are still unsure if your feelings and affection for her are on the level of a friendship or a relationship. In fact, I say call her as soon as possible and tell her that if you have not already. Relationships are very hard and time consuming, but based on that fact that you enjoy spending time with her already (without sexual intentions), I would say the relationship has a good chance of working.