, Please 
1
A small, white, shiny, rectangle, with a big apple shaped dent in the top that's probably supposed to be the logo. Apple's reoccurring ideology, "smaller is better", seems to apply once again to the rectangle only 3in x 2in x 5cm. Okay, so it'll look nice on the outside, but plug it into your TV and-... ACK! A bunch of nasty interface windows with anti-stylish, uncool gray gradient textures. You won't go to the store to buy games with Apple, rather you can sit in your living room and wait for hours for them to download via iGames Store. They take forever because Apple doesn't know how to format files in an efficient way, and thus the files are ten times bigger than their competitor's games.
Three days later...
It's done downloading! Oh goody, I can't wait to play my first game on my new iRectangle! (Yes, that's what I decided to call it.) We start it up, and in case you forgot you were playing on an Apple product, there's a nice ten minute intro screen of the Apple logo having paint spilled on it while some catchy teen pop music plays in the background. Alright, we're finally loaded up. Now, we don't know what kind of games will be on the system, but here's what we know about them: They'll either be 2D, or run at 15 FPS tops, because Apple seems to have sacrificed any sort of processing power for maintaining a sleek exterior. Also, most of them won't be games, about 2% of them will be music creation tools, 30% video/picture editing, and another 20% just plain useless apps people recompiled from the iPhone.
Another important factor: How will we control them? Well, Apple wouldn't want to bog us down with wires, or a whole lot of buttons, so they've abandoned all of that for... Another rectangle, about the size of the system itself. Situated on it is one button, but that's enough, as they've ripped off the Wiimote functionality, yay! Sadly, the gimmick will ruin 75% of the remaining 30% of games that are actually games, turning them into over-casual junk no one wants to play. To turn your controller on, you shake it really hard, as if dancing, it'll even play music for you. The downside to this, is that the controllers look identical to the system, and it's really easy to pick up the system by mistake and... Well... Apple isn't know for producing the most durable stuff.
Yes, that was a horribly exaggerated review of what it would be like. 80% of that would probably never happen, but meh, it was fun to write, and I hate Apple, so I'm satisfied.
