12 replies to this topic

[mandla]

my uncle always said one thing to my auntie and i realise that itwas true.

He constanly said to her Darlene, we only in this marriage for one thing. To make each other happy. So once you stop making me happy its time for you to make other plans and the same applies for me if i find i dont want make you happy anymore then theres no use for me in this marriage.

It sounds mean but when I grew older I realised how true it was. The main reason people should be together is to make each other happy. I have heard people talk about compromising in mariage but I have seen very little compromising in marriages. Compromises dont usually last long. because they are *BLEEP* for tat. basically a husband feels he will do the gardening as long as wife is doing his laundry and if at any point wife decides shes had enough then out goes the equivalent compromise. This means you will then argue because jack willsay I have done this for you but you havent done this for me in return. Jill will say what about when I do this for you what do you do for me in return. Then because we are human we will begin to argue and this results in anger and punishment which normally is s topping to do that compromise as a form of trying to prove your point.

But if you live to make each other happy the above sitaution can easily be resolved by the fact that you may not like drinking at home compared to being at the pb daily with your frieds but because you wife will be happy if you buy your six packs and drink at home with her for company and even though she doesnt like doing your scummy laundry she knows that it makes you happy and it really costs nothing she will find it easy to do. I mean yes ita compromise just like work is a compromise. Watch. If you go to work they supposed to pay you. thats why the hours drag cause its a *BLEEP* for tat. Energy/strength/brainwork in exchange for money. But when you child says mommy buy me a playstation you dont charge them for it you just do it to make them happy. To see their face light up with happiness and just to know you made someoen you love happy. Thats how Marriage should be. It should be about trying to find happiness not trying to batter trade.

After a while you find the whole compromise thingy will go out the windows anyway, you will settle into roles in the family and do them because they make your family happy. Most women start of saying because they work they expect hubby to do just as much housework and cooking but after a few years you will find the woman will do most house work and cooking because they aturally are carers and their nature will come into play once they get over the whole do this and i do that.Men will find they spend more time wearing out the couch and saying honey do this for me and do that for me please. The wife will do that without complaining because she sees thet her family is happy. She is happy for her man to be home with her than out with friend and that to her is enough.

So you ask expectations in a marriage I say I expect to find happiness. I know we are different people and may argue sometimes but as long as I have happiness after a few months I will not remeeber the arguements I will remmeebr the happuy moments, the laughter the love and the emotions we went through and if I find i was happy then My marriage would have been perfect.

[iAssistant]

Yes, marriage has expectation and I don't think that it is wrong because marriage is a contract you signed together. You expect your partner to follow your contract like you expect him/her to be faithful with all the time.

[ritu]

Of course expectations play a significant role when you talk about marriage, how can one plunge into a relationship where he/she is not allowed to rely on someone? Expectations are an extension pf dependability. Would you not like to depend on the person you get married to?I would certainly not say that a partner is allowed to walk out of the marriage just because his expectations remain unfulfilled,a fair amount of adjustment is indispensable yet doesn't seem feasible that there can be a marital relationship devoid of expectations.