13 replies to this topic

[anwiii]

what?!? you are going to change your religion and beliefs for someone else? that just doesn't make sense at all! and your granny? they both probably had an understanding or she just lied about it her whole life? that's wrong too.

so far, it's been YOU who was open and YOU who said you loved her. not the other way around. my first question was going to be "where are you from" because that kinda matters too in beliefs and cultures. not to say it's right or wrong in any belief or culture. if you like it, stay. if you don't, leave. you're 17 though. how old is SHE?

aside from this religious b.s., i will give you some good advice here. it has to do when you two were at the park. you don't hear anyone else telling you to love this girl. you're telling yourself and you FAILED to tell her why you loved her. if i was a girl, i woulda felt rejected or offended and think you weren't really deeply serious in your feelings. my advice to you is to write her a note on paper and give it to her. being put on the spot with questions and why you love her could be awkward. writing it, you have the ability to make the time to state your true feelings and why you feel a certain way. is it her looks? her laugh? her friendship? her loyalty? companionship? the way she thinks or maybe the way she makes YOU think? put it in a letter and be a little romantic without straying from being truthfull. if she makes you nervous, tell her. tell her why. if you feel you want to put her ahead of any belief you have, tell her how much she means to you.
put some thought and time in this letter. speak from the heart. i know sometimes it's hard to find the words, but if she means that much to you, then i am sure you WILL find the words. she wants to hear something more than what you had to say at the park when you two are alone.

for now though, you have no choice but to respect her parents decisions in how they want to raise their child. i wouldn't come inbetween families right now. not only would that be disrespectfull, but it will serve very little purpose in being persistant and annoying. work on the situation slowly. try to salvage your friendship AT LEAST so things aren't a complete loss by just stating you loved someone. that is not a crime and nobody should be punished in how they feel.

i wouldn't be considering running away with her at this point. you both are still young and naive. you just told her you loved her. this is not a fairytale where the next step is to save her from her family and ride off in the sunset. it wont happen like that and futures need planning and goals. so i would keep it cool. offer respect to her family, but also try to find a way to write a letter and follow your heart.

if she responds negatively after you have opened your heart in a letter, then you need to respect her beliefs as well as most people aren't readily able to give up ones strong beliefs or religion just for 1 person....like you. or maybe it's that you don't really hold a strong conviction in your beliefs where you are able to toss them aside.

[akira550]

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what?!? you are going to change your religion and beliefs for someone else? that just doesn't make sense at all! and your granny? they both probably had an understanding or she just lied about it her whole life? that's wrong too.

huh? how did you know that my granny does lie to me? did you know him? first don't talk something bad about the person you didn't know that's a bad habit to judge people you don't know who. Yes.. I can change religion and come in her religion.. first they are also christian and the only different is that they don't have christmas, holy weeks and fiesta and that's the only differences and I can get rid of those manly needs. First.. I love her and the second religions won't save you.. remember that only God and yourself can save you..

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so far, it's been YOU who was open and YOU who said you loved her. not the other way around. my first question was going to be "where are you from" because that kinda matters too in beliefs and cultures. not to say it's right or wrong in any belief or culture. if you like it, stay. if you don't, leave. you're 17 though. how old is SHE?

I am from asia's Latin City the pearl of the orient, why? she is also 17 like me, she's my classmate since elementary until now we are bestfriends you are right that if you like it, stay.. and I am going to do that thing. I want to stay and I don't want to leave her alone even if she doesn't love me back well it's ok at least we are friends and that is enough for me.

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aside from this religious b.s., i will give you some good advice here. it has to do when you two were at the park. you don't hear anyone else telling you to love this girl. you're telling yourself and you FAILED to tell her why you loved her. if i was a girl, i woulda felt rejected or offended and think you weren't really deeply serious in your feelings. my advice to you is to write her a note on paper and give it to her. being put on the spot with questions and why you love her could be awkward. writing it, you have the ability to make the time to state your true feelings and why you feel a certain way. is it her looks? her laugh? her friendship? her loyalty? companionship? the way she thinks or maybe the way she makes YOU think? put it in a letter and be a little romantic without straying from being truthfull. if she makes you nervous, tell her. tell her why. if you feel you want to put her ahead of any belief you have, tell her how much she means to you.
put some thought and time in this letter. speak from the heart. i know sometimes it's hard to find the words, but if she means that much to you, then i am sure you WILL find the words. she wants to hear something more than what you had to say at the park when you two are alone.

Do love have a reason? is love defineable? is there a real or certain definitions about love? Do I have to love her because she is beautiful? kind? sweet? In my own I didn't love her because she got those things, I love her because something... something inside me telling to love her and when she is not here beside me I always missed her. If I am going to love her good attitudes then what will happen if she show up her real attitude or suddenly change? and become a bad girl? did you get it? I don't want to love her attitudes or physical qualities, What I mean is I am going to love her no matter what happen, no matter what changes or metamorphosis would going to happen. yes friend I am so greatful for your advice and this is so good and I learned something from you, I am going to apply what you have been said to me. I am going to fill myself with courage and going to give and say more than what I have

[anwiii]

well, normally, people know why they love and they know what they love about certain things and people. it's good that you accept the good with the bad with this person. what i am confused on is why you don't know why you love her. i mean, if that is the case and you don't really need a reason to love, you love everyone and everything equally? if not, what makes the things you love or hate unequal?

your girl wanted to know answers and you couldn't tell her why you love her because you don't need a reason. well. most women do they want to know why you love them and they want to hear the answers to those questions all the time. not just once. beauty is in the eye of the beholder. i believe that so i do believe that love is undefinable as a whole since different people will see different things. but we still SEE don't we? you see....you love her for a REASON because you see her as she is. and what is that?

i mean come on....you don't love her because she's a murderer or a theif or worships the devil. would you follow her religion if she worshiped satan? would you love her the same if she wasn't your friend? everything about her is defined by you in what you see in her and what you want from her....something she has that she gives you that is GOOD because lets face it bud, if she was everything bad and hurtfull, you wouldn't feel the same way.

so yea, don't play games with me like you did her and try to focus on why you love her. "i don't know" or avoiding the question is never a good answer. no no no. there ARE reasons why you love her. appearance may not mean much to you, but your not going to love a dog the same way, are you? so appearance DOES mean something.

you also have to consider your friendship here too because after getting up the courage to tell her how you feel, may end the friendship and if you find out you two can't be together in the future and love eachother, then you might just wind up with nothing. BUT! i do admire your courage because you shouldn't live in regret and wonder who life coulda been when you didn't tell her how you feel and should have.

it leaves me troubled that she walked away from you at the park. iam really curious why she told her parents about your conversation. she also probably already knew about the religion difference and what her parents might think about it so telling the parents wouldn't have been a wise choice right now. something else is going on that i don't know....but yea, be truthfull and open, i just wouldn't push things too hard after that. the ball will be in HER court after knowing how you feel AND WHY.

also, i meant no disrespect towards your grandmother. i just know that going from athiest to christianity is just not possible. you don't just switch beliefs in a snap of a finger because you love someone. that's where the lie comes in and it's NOT the way to live a life making people believe in something that isn't true. sacrifice is good though in any relationship but you can never sacrifice your own belief, faith, or religion. your grandmother pretends to be christian but is really still an athiest. you said it. i didn't.

akira550, on Feb 8 2010, 04:12 AM, said:

Do love have a reason? is love defineable? is there a real or certain definitions about love? Do I have to love her because she is beautiful? kind? sweet? In my own I didn't love her because she got those things, I love her because something... something inside me telling to love her and when she is not here beside me I always missed her. If I am going to love her good attitudes then what will happen if she show up her real attitude or suddenly change? and become a bad girl? did you get it? I don't want to love her attitudes or physical qualities, What I mean is I am going to love her no matter what happen, no matter what changes or metamorphosis would going to happen. yes friend I am so greatful for your advice and this is so good and I learned something from you, I am going to apply what you have been said to me. I am going to fill myself with courage and going to give and say more than what I have