13 replies to this topic

[jamesmead]

hey,

There's this girl I kno who was my junior at college.., and I sort of liked her. and me being sort of a pretty shy guy, I never asked her out. But then, she moved away to a different college. After a few months we met on a social networking site and started talking.. It sort of became an everyday routine.. She'd come to know by then that I liked her and sort of got angry when one of her friends teased her about how much time she spent with me.. (and she told me she thought I was talking to her just coz I liked her and wanted to ask her out.. She's a shy conservative girl to some extent..).. She later sent me a mail the next day apologizing and asking me to forget what happened the other night and insisted on meeting online again.. I tried keeping my distance from her though for what had happened.. But she told my friends that she was feeling bad bout me ignoring her.. So we started talking again..

its been around a year now and we've become really good friends.. We share and discuss stuff we wudn't with anyone else.. and our friends still do tease us.. But she doesn't seem to mind it.. I asked her if we shud perhaps talk less (as if it was affecting me).. She got all irritated and told me if that's wat I want.. She wudn't disturb me again and all those stuff.. Lol.. But I think I like her too.. and wudn't really want to stay away from her.. So, well, that again, was another day we decided to forget..

One of my friends lied to her saying that I had told him that I liked her.. and she came and asked me and said something like "u should have told me first..".. But I immediately cut her off (biggest mistake) and said he was joking.. (and her reply was something like "ohh lol.. Oops.. " wat do I make of it?? )

she talks to me almost daily now.. Tells me stuff she wudn't tell her bff.. She asks my friends where I was wen I'm not online.. Keeps telling me I'm a nice guy and stuff.. (and refers to me using cute nicknames lol.. ).. and wen people tease her wid me.. She always tells me bout it and chuckles.. Lol.. so.. Does she like me??

I have friends living in her town.. n the other day she was like "You should visit him sometime when I'm around"..

I wud have asked her out a long time ago.. But she's a very good friend.. and I wudn't wanna lose her in case she doesn't actually like me..

so.. Wat do u guys think?? help me out here people..

(Cheers for all your replies!)

Edited by jamesmead, 15 March 2010 - 05:12 PM.

[anwiii]

you're asking complete strangers who don't know you or her if she likes you? ummm and we are supposed to know better than what you should already know?

my advice to you is it doesn't matter if she likes you more than just a best friend. if you want to pursue something more with her, you should at least give it a shot. if you don't, you might not be ok with it and that would be worse than taking a chance and finding out she really does just want to be friends.

sounds to me you two are really good friends....that is a strong foundation to find out if you two are compatible in being more than just friends if the chemistry is there.....and as long as you remain best friends without the expectations people sometimes force on each other in a relationship.

and if you do take a chance, and she feels the same as you, and you move in with her, and you find out she snores so loud, that it's impossible to get any sleep, don't come back here blaming me.....

[abazi16]

The problem is not she but you, because of the information you told us it seems like she likes you but the question is do you like her, if yes go for it. Ask her for a date and say something " Hey I'm asking you to for a coffe I don't have any other thing to do, so if you have time let's go.... But when we go out don't tell me that you love me this is getting too serious " say it in a funny way, you know like your j/k.
Even it doesn't work it doesn't mean that your friendship is destroyed because a good friendship can't be destroyed so easy. Good Luck

[roger112]

Dude this girl likes you and so clear, even you see it!!

What you need to do is come clean with her, I'm sure you like her too judging by the way you're describing everything so next time she does something nice, be a man...nah...a gentleman and reciprocate..

One of these days you have to decide whether you like her or not and let her know so you can get the ball rolling!!!

Good luck mate!

[sukhi]

yeah i think also she likes you because she recognised and added you on the social network site clearly having interest in you.
But beware maybe she has a BF and she is just happy to tbe talking to as a freind as she is now booked and loves the attention
other guys give to her !

I am sure you can figure out well and be the master in the game

All the best !

[missy2205]

She so wants you and i think you are the problem. She came to you so that you can confirm but you chickened out. You like her and she clearly likes you so go for it and just tell her. I know of someone who was in a similar situation but it was a girl. This guy acted all nice and friendly but deep down he really liked her and people used to tell her that he likes her but couldn't tell her because he was scared that he will lose his friendship with her because of taking things further, she realy liked him and could see a future with this guy but she couldnt tell him how she felt because she believes in a guy asking a girl out not the other way round. Then what happened is a girl started dating someone else and then he didnt take it well now they are not talking anymore because he is jealous of her relationship he wishes it was him with her not the other guy. So i say to you act fast if you really like this girl otherwise she is gonna find someone and you are gonna be regretting why you did not make a move when you should have.

[inea]

It is obvious that this friend of yours does not like you because you doubt about it. This is based on the assumption that when somebody likes some other person the persons involved are very well aware of this feeling.

[mandla]

yes she likes you. Actually from the things you have written it is obvious she loves you too. Yes Just the same way she loves dogs and the same way she probably loves Cats. In simpler terms you are geting you hopes high over someoen who probably only likes you as much as a rain drop likes the sky - because she has no choice.

Ask yourself if you were her would you like you. Stop worrying about weather she likes you or not cause that will only make you feel awkward when you are hanging out. Just concentrate on having a nice time when you two are hanging out. Just enjoy life and the friendship oyu share. Cause its not easy finding a good friend. If it becomes a relationship then thats cool but dont let your relationship be make awkward and wierd just because you misinterpreted what she feeling because she brush your hand on the table while you were on a date oryou caught her staring at you in a dreamy looking manner. Just take things easy dont ever read situations.

[Harlot]

Its hard to tell and I would be very careful. Sometimes girls can be very hard to read, and we guys have a tendency to take every single thing said or done in a sexual or non-friendship based context. I have had friends who I thought were interested in me, just to find out that they were not. Simply because she said you should have told her first doesn't mean that she wants a relationship with you. Simply because she likes your company, and likes to talk to you, doesn't mean that its more than a friendship. I have girls who are my friend and if I am away for too long, they go crazy, but they are not attracted to me sexually or romantically, they like my company and miss that company when I am away. If you are interested in a girl, you need to let her know from the get go. Its a big mistake to take on the role of a friend with a girl that you like without her knowing that you are interested. In many cases, if you don't flirt with a girl as soon as a bond is created, they will think that you are not interest and just want to be friends. Some guys don't know what flirting is, or don't know how to flirt. I have had friendships with girls end because I didn't tell them that I was interested from the get go, and we just couldn't handle the reality. You can be a friend of a girl for 3 months, and then try to start a relationship with her. You are already the friend, the person who she tells all her secrets to. You are the shopping buddy...you are just a friend at that point.

Its hard to tell what goings on with the girl you are with, but its possible that she wants a relationship, but you should really not jump to conclusions so quickly.

[missy2205]

when I first read your post a while back i was convinced this girl really liked you and now after a while i came back read the additional posts and am still convinced from what you have said and what responses have been said there is a higher chance of her liking you not. Girls can be complex at times yes but this is an open and shut case. The girllikes you a lot.

Its obvious from how you guys spend time together chatting on line the things you say she tells you that she would not tell her bff. The intimacy of your discussions when you online together, how she asks after you when she has not seem you for a while. It all adds up to a girl who really likes you. I am a girl and for me to do all that it would mean I really like the person. I mean if i didnt like that person or in this case if this girl didnt like you and thought of you as an idiot she would take the chance to be away from you as bliss i mean why go looking for someone you know is only going to upset you. If you said she tells you she was looking for you we can or could have said she is just being nice when you come on line but not necessarily liking you. But then because she asks your friends she must genuinely be thinking of you. So FACT this girl does like you. But then she also likes cats and dogs and probably ice cream.

THere is a chance that you have become this close knit friend with her were you think she is telling you things she would nevevr tell her bff but you dont realise that maybe you are her new best friend. Sometimes we become close and attached to people who come into our lives and we inevitably build a good strong friendshio with them without ever realising that we have built a good friendship. She trusts you a lot because you have not given her any reason to doubt you and so at the moment you are the person she can tell all her silly stupid stuff which isf her other girl friends found out they may make fun and tease her about or chastize her about. There is a very fine line between love and friendship and its so easy to confuse the feelings especially with a friend of the opposite sex and based on how you two have been friends for this long I bet you anything you would be better of staying friends than going down the relationship, love and sex route. You have a real good thing going her and though at times you may and will both feel sexual attraction to one another, i suggest if anything happens let it happen under friendship banner because lover complicates everything. Suddenly you will want rights to her life which you never had before but suddenly feel justified to have and this will just make her want time apart as some song said every lover needs a time away from each other. But if you were good friends and she told you all this stuff you'd expect more stuff from a lover and at your age its easy to confuse love and sharing with love and infringement of privacy.

While the fact still stands this girls likes you a lot I am nolonger sure a year down the line is adequate passage of time to still wanna persue a sexual attraction relationship because clearly as you may already know, you friendship is just tooo deep. You all are better off staying friends or becoming what they call these days friends with benefits that way you get the best of both worlds. Not that I would recommend this to anyone but I know that even though i may not approve of such friendship with benefits I am not the one making life's rule and they say never say never because i may find me in the friends with benefits boat one day.

Good Luck. It would be nice if you come back and tell us what you decided to do in the end whether you eventually became lovers or just carried on as friends. It would be nice to know if the relationship on line is still going strong or has it fizzled out and you have found a new online partner to "date" and i use that term loosely.