11 replies to this topic

[Dee]

I attend an alternative high school. I decided to go to this school because I wanted to graduate a year early. Towards the end of the school year (2010) I slacked off intentionally because I felt I wasn't ready for the "real world."

The only reason I wanted to graduate early was because I lived with my mother and step father. I was taken away from them because my step father was very abusive towards me. My friends mother finally called the police on him and took me in. I feel out of place living with my friends family, but his family is very caring. I just in a way get a bit jealous. Like, why can't I have a family like his? Though I am grateful to feel safe here with them.

This is all probably everywhere, but I hope you understand all this. Well when school let out I only had 20 credits to finish up, which I could have done, but the last 2 months I slacked off because as much as I wanted to get away from my step father I was scared of what was going to happen after I graduated. I didn't know where I was going to go because my step father had already told me that once I graduated I was out of the house.

My plans have always been to join the Air Force, but that changed last year to the Army. I really want to enlist in the Army! I have an uncle who is in the Marine Corp. and I sort of want to follow in his foot steps. Well I'm supposed to graduate this year in October and I am so confused on what I want. I mean like I know what I want, but so many things are going through my mind. I grew up not poor, but less fortunate than others. I know how to appreciate what I have. It's just, I don't know if I have even made sense, but can some one give me advice on how to be able to set my mind straight?

I'm not good at expressing my feelings so well because my parents were old fashioned and I was never taught to communicate with them. So like I said this might not make sense because I wrote about everything all together. Still would like some help!

Edited by Dee, 30 July 2010 - 05:02 AM.

[rpgsearcherz]

I'm a little lost as to what you're asking for -- advice?

If so, and if your advice is as to whether or not the Army would be good, that's solely up to you. They do take very, very good care of their people though, but you also have to work for it. They will take care of your schooling costs for college, living expenses, and many other things. Not to mention if you're not deployed you will work a normal 9-5 job but with all the benefits (good pay, free breakfast/lunch/dinner, free housing, full medical/dental/vision, and free college).

If that wasn't what your question was about, please elaborate.

[Dee]

rpgsearcherz, on 30 July 2010 - 04:22 AM, said:

I'm a little lost as to what you're asking for -- advice?

If so, and if your advice is as to whether or not the Army would be good, that's solely up to you. They do take very, very good care of their people though, but you also have to work for it. They will take care of your schooling costs for college, living expenses, and many other things. Not to mention if you're not deployed you will work a normal 9-5 job but with all the benefits (good pay, free breakfast/lunch/dinner, free housing, full medical/dental/vision, and free college).

If that wasn't what your question was about, please elaborate.

I'm sorry I didn't make much sense at all. I wanted advice like, what should I expect after graduating? What should I look forward for? I'm just real nervous because I'll be graduating in November, and I need to get my mind straight before I stay in school until June of next year. Did I make any sense?

[rpgsearcherz]

I get where you're coming from now.

After graduation usually comes college (which is where I'm at now). It's really just a continuance of high school, lol. That is, if you choose to go.

So nothing to really be anxious about or anything when doing the college route.

[Harlot]

Graduating high school can really be scary. I once had a teacher who told me that the time of his life where he was most scared of when he was graduating from high school. In high school, you get into a route. You get up at a certain time, go to school, go to classes, come home, and do the same thing the next day. Once you graduate from high school that route is completely gone and its time to make a living. That is absolutely scary and horrifying for something who has no idea what they are going to do after graduation. A lot of people know that they are going to college or the military, and all those plans are in place so there is no mystery. Therefore, they may not understand your feelings.

You said you that graduate in October, my suggestion is to get with your school's counselor and explain to him or her that you don't know what you are going to do after high school and you need to be guided in the right direction. The options are usually college, military, trade school, or work. If you have decided to go to the military, you need to ensure that everything is in place so that you can go. By the way, don't take for granted the possibility of a military school which will give you the opportunity to enter the military as an officer. However, if your choice is the military, you need to talk to your counselor about it. Talk to her about your prospects in a military school vs what you need to do to enlist right out of high school.

There are usually military recruiters at schools. One thing you need to keep in mind is that the military recruiter is paid a lot of money just to get you to enlist. So don't think that recruiter is being so nice because he or she likes you. Ask them questions and make it clear that you know the game they are playing, and you want accurate information rather then sensationalism and exaggerated benefits. I know how they operate because I considered joining the military and the recruiter was almost like a stalker. I later found that he would be paid thousands of dollars if he recruited be successfully. I scored really high on some military test called ASVAB, but I didn't know it was a direct entry test. I thought it was for military school. I eventually gave up on military school because no one provided the information and I didn't stay on the back of my counselor so I just decided to enroll in a 4 year college.

So make sure that you explore every and all options. Look at the possibility of you enrolling in a college, financial aid will probably cover the cost of tuition and books if you go to a state college and you have a financial need. If you can pick up a job in college, you may be able to get an apartment of your own. Also look at the possibility of the military, both direct enlistment and military schools. If you plan on direct enrollment, talk to your counselor about taking the ASVAB or talk to your local military recruiter about it. The ASVAB is pretty much a basic test that determine what positions in the military you can choose from...like basic infantry or communications etc. Make sure you research the test. When I took the test, I did well in the academic part which was basic math (a look harder than basic), reading, and science. That was 1/2 of the test, however, the other half was technical stuff like mechanics. So I found myself look at a engine and not knowing that it was an engine (lol). However, I still came out with a great score by using common sense on the mechanical part and picking names based on how something looked. The test doesn't discriminate on the academic and technical areas. I believe they are all worth the same or similar. So even if you are bad at math, reading, and science, if you are good at mechanical and technical stuff, you will score well above the requirement. The ASVAB and a physical is all I believe that you really need to enlist.

As for enrolling in a military school, I have no idea. However, I was contacted by a military school last week, but I told them it was too late as I was already enrolled in a college. Its unfortunately that they didn't contact me until I graduated for high school . So if you know where you are going, you won't have a reason to seek failure. I know it disorganized and you're probably very confused and stressed. However, really really really take these words to heart...we always exaggerate how hard something is. If you tell you counselor that you want to go to the military and tell him or her to make it happen, they will assist you in doing that. The primary thing you should be doing is making sure you have set plans so that you won't have to be so stressed.

Also, there is nothing wrong with being a little jealous of your friend, we are all jealous of someone, we just have to recognize that jealousy . I hope that you stay here at Knowledgesutra, its a good place to get support in our times of need you know

[missalex]

I would choose college, but that's just me. I mean, if you enlist and join the army it sounds quite exciting, I just wouldn't want people to die. It's a sad thought but then again soilders help our country, so it's basically their job. Your story seems pretty sad and I'm sorry you went through all of that. Referring to your second paragraph, I would also feel weird in that situation. I mean, living with your friend's family? Well, good luck.

[Ash-Bash]

I found this topic rather helpful I am currently in high school moving onto collage (I am at my last year in high school) and need to start thinking what I am going to do once I have left collage or what courses I am going to learn at collage. I am thinking about going to university though still not 100% sure I may start my own company up. Though I think I am still to young to decide.

[Harlot]

missalex, on 06 August 2010 - 05:16 PM, said:

I would choose college, but that's just me. I mean, if you enlist and join the army it sounds quite exciting, I just wouldn't want people to die. It's a sad thought but then again soilders help our country, so it's basically their job. Your story seems pretty sad and I'm sorry you went through all of that. Referring to your second paragraph, I would also feel weird in that situation. I mean, living with your friend's family? Well, good luck.

You don't necessarily have to die if you join the military. There are positions behind the front lines, and even if you're on the frontlines, the U.S. is not currently in a military to military war. There are deaths, but its not like WII or Vietnam where the war against against a government or organized, government back militia rather than scattered terrorist (supposedly). I think the military is a fantastic option if its for you. Especially if you are joining the army or air force, you have to know how and be willing to kill. I don't think the military is for me, not because I am not willing to kill, but rather I may forget whose side I'm on.

I usually speak openly about most issues despite it being politically incorrect, but I have a like of sensitivity for the military and I try not to say anything negative. Not because I support the institution, but rather the soldiers (even if I disagree with the purpose). Its probably more of a sympathy thing rather than national pride or governmental support. Because the fact is that the majority of soldiers don't know what or who they are fighting for, although many think that they know. I will leave it at that. But yes, I believe the military is a great route if you learn your way through the ropes and you believe it is in your best interest. People usually say that college isn't for everyone. Although I disagree and believe that if you can graduate high school, you can graduate college, some people simply have no desire to go to college and their decision shouldn't be the business of anyone else. You can find success in the military, just as you can find success in college. You simply have to play your cards right and have a long term plan. If someone enter the military, they should know how long they are going to be there and what they intend to do after they leave. If someone doesn't plan to retire from the military (meaning you plan to stay less than 20 years), you need to save your money and get ready to invest it in a business or something that can sustain you after-wards. Since soldiers don't have to pay any cost of living (at least for the most part), it shouldn't be that difficult.

[Nik]

You have changed your mind from air force to army, So my advice to you is stick to decision of army. Army is not a bad field in which you want to make your career. Army man have a good personality. As soon as you joined army, your importance in your society will be important, and I think your step father will also stop abusing to you. Now my advice to you is Stick to your decision. Don't change your decision everyday. You want to follow in your uncle's foot step, so you can also do the same in your army career. So best of luck to you.

[sheepdog]

I am truely sorry for you that you had to live in such a discouraging home, no child should have to suffer threw that. I can understand why you would feel some jealousy of your friends family, but at least they took you in and gave you a first hand view of what a family should be like, thank goodness for that.

I think one of the military branches would be very good for you. It would give you some time to grow up, experience life, and possibly have more time to make a decision about what you want to do with the rest of your life. You certainly have not had a way to give these important decisions the time they need with your current family problems.

I wish you all the best and hope things work out for you. I'm betting they do, because you are smart enough to realize what is going on and are doing your best to think things threw.

[anwiii]

hi dee. welcome to knowledge sutra. sorry that i missed your original post. you are right. graduating high school is scarey because it's the first time in your life where you will want to direct yourself on a career path. it gets really confusing. even people who choose college change their majors a couple times because they don't know which route they want to go. ok enough of that. you are right it is scarey.

first of all, every family is dysfuctional in some way to want a normal family life is asking the impossible since there is no such thing as normal. be gratefull you got out of that house. i really admire your friends mother for saying something because the abuse could have gotten a lot worse. i have no respect for adults who abuse children and it seems like your mom kinda married the wrong guy for whatever reason. just be thankfull that it didn't get worse and you had a caring family take you in.

now listen carefully in what i am about to tell ya. do NOT join the military because you don't know what to do with your life. the military is a commitment. if you don't know what to do with your life after high school and you insist on joining the military, join the reserves until you figure out what you really want to do. also, harlot is correct. recruiters in my opinion are scum. they recruit for the money.....not your best interest. don't EVER think the recruiter is your friend. they will even lie to you to recruit you. my preferences for military would be airforce or navy. since you live in california though, you actually might want to consider the coast guard. if you are looking for a little bit of excitement, you can enter a search and rescue program. it would definitely be worth looking in to what the coast guard has to offer.

another option is to start applying for colleges and enter college. you would probably qualify for a grant and a student loan which you wouldn't have to pay back until after you graduate in the field you are interested. or if there is a specific trade you want to get in to, go to a trade school and study for a couple years. i would DEFINATELY take harlot's advice and go see your counselor to talk about your future plans. that is what they are there for. also, go talk to a college counselor as well. the more input the better. they get paid to council and most likely, they enjoy helping others so it is very wise to go talk to them. it's free.

i know you don't open up a lot and it's hard for you to open up and explain things in words, but i think you did fine. this place can offer you some guidance and maybe ideas you never thought of before so don't shy away from expressing more of your wants and needs so people can better help you with options that suite those wants and needs. obviously one of your biggest concerns is where you are going to live and how you are going to be able to survive. you have some thinking to do, dee. i like many other people here as you can tell like to help people. so please continue to post your concerns and if you ever want to talk one on one on this issue, my yahoo im is in my profile. sometimes it's hard to fully judge or fully offer guidance through a forum post.

lastly, it's ok to be scared and apprehensive. i think everyone is after graduating from high school. some people know exactly what they want to do. for the most part though, the majority have no clue so you aren't alone feeling the way you feel. it's not uncommon. the military is a commitment though so when you sign on the dotted line and go through basic and if ever decide you wanted to do something else, you are stuck for at least 4 years out of your life unless you join the reserves. from what i have read so far, it seems like you have a good head on your shoulders so whatever you do finally decide, i think you will be more than ok.

[Dee]

I really appreciate your advice and say in all this.

Your the first person that has told me not to join the military just because I don't know what to do with my life. That really means a lot because that's one of the MAIN reasons why I wanted to enlist. I'm still on the thought of it and have seen a recruiter. They are like hounds though; keeping up with you at all moments!

I'm not saying the following just to say it, but you really helped me out with what you wrote! You gave me some better talk than my counselor at school. He's alright, but he's more of a "do what your heart tells you to do" person and I don't know what I really want. Thanks again for what you said! It truly helped in many ways (especially about the military)!