7 replies to this topic

[joewest]

I'm a college student who has lots of admirations for girls, especially beautiful ones with good personalities ( I mean internal beauty not physical appearance). This is my second semester in this college. I have decided to take my time, study my new environment, and pay more attention to my studies during my first semester. I consider myself as an “A” student academically; on the other hand, I’m also an “F” student when it comes to having knowledge about girls or knowing how to handle them. Talking to girls is not my actual problem; my main problem is making the first approach to them and starting up a conversation. If I will ever be able to overcome my fear of rejection, walk up to a girl and start a conversation, I can perfectly handle the rest; I mean keeping the conversation going. My biggest problem is making the first approach. Physically, my appearance is very good and of great standard. I’m always clean and I dress gently. Generally, I’m a good person, at least beyond average. I’m neither an introvert nor an extrovert; just in the middle of the two. Now, I have resolved to take the bull by the horn, I mean to break those fears and get a taste of girls. I’m much more settled now unlike my first semester. Now, I can handle the friendship stuff as well as my studies very well. This is my first time on this, so I want you guys to help me. Teach me some lessons on this game so that I won’t mess up. I Promise to abide by the rules of this game if I get to know them. TELL ME THE RULES, THE PROCESS, AND LEAVE THE REST FOR ME. I REALLY NEED YOUR HELP, YOUR OPINIONS, AND YOUR ANSWERS!!!!!!!!!

I was really misunderstood on this issue of getting 10 phone numbers,for this reason, I have deleted it from the post because it was kind of portraying an image that is contrary to what my real intention is. I'm sorry for writting it in the first place. So far, I have began making a lot of acquaintances in school (I mean girlfriends, just general friends, nothing more,no phone numbers. I'm gradually getting to know girls generally since I'm not used to talking to them). I don't want to rush things. I just want to take my time and by God's grace, get a decent girl, somebody that will last long for me. I don't have and will never have any intention of jumping from one girl to another now or in the future because I hate it most. THANKS FOR UR HELPS SO FAR!!! UR ADVICE HAS HLEPED ME A LOT; I DO APPRECIATE THAT. HOWEVER, I AM STILL OPEN FOR MORE ADVICE AND SUGGESTIONS.

Edited by joewest, 13 November 2010 - 08:28 PM.

[Harlot]

joewest, on 30 October 2010 - 04:03 AM, said:

I'm a college student who has lots of admirations for girls, especially beautiful ones. This is my second semester in this college. I have decided to take my time, study my new environment, and pay more attention to my studies during my first semester. I consider myself as an “A” student academically; on the other hand, I’m also an “F” student when it comes to having knowledge about girls or knowing how to handle them. Talking to girls is not my actual problem; my main problem is making the first approach to them and starting up a conversation. If I will ever be able to overcome my fear of rejection, walk up to a girl and start a conversation, I can perfectly handle the rest; I mean keeping the conversation going. My biggest problem is making the first approach. Physically, my appearance is very good and of great standard. I’m always clean and I dress gently. Generally, I’m a good person, at least beyond average. I’m neither an introvert nor an extrovert; just in the middle of the two. Now, I have resolved to take the bull by the horn, I mean to break those fears and get a taste of girls. I’m much more settled now unlike my first semester. Now, I can handle the friendship stuff as well as my studies very well. This is my first time on this, so I want you guys to help me. Teach me some lessons on this game so that I won’t mess up. I Promise to abide by the rules of this game if I get to know them. My target is to get at least 10 different phone numbers before the end of next week. Don’t worry, I’m not going to be a Casanova; I will just choose the best out of the ten. TELL ME THE RULES, THE PROCESS, AND LEAVE THE REST FOR ME. I REALLY NEED YOUR HELP, YOUR OPINIONS, AND YOUR ANSWERS!!!!!!!!!

Sounds like you watch too many movies. Sorry, there are no rules of the game. You simply have to know when a girl is attracted to you and act on it. Typically, girls don't approach guys, so if a girl likes you and you don't know it, then tough cookie. In my unprofessional opinion, you approach a girl just like you would anyone else. I am not a love doctor, but there is no special way to approach a girl...after all...they are human beings just like guys. Just spark up a conversation about anything. If a girl is reading a book, ask her what book she is reading and then ask her to tell you more about it. Then you can tell her books that you have read that relates to the book she is reading, and ask her has she heard of the books that you have read. Now thats a easy conversation. Ask her for her name, and if you think you guys connected, ask if she wants to go to the library with you one day to check out some books, and if she says yes ask for her number so that you guys can set it up one day. Thats just an example. Its really based on your interest and the girl's interest.

[chini13]

good question..btw
my advice to u is to stop thinking of getting a girlfriend and concentrate on studies and books and sports..
It is a waste of time looking for girls....life is more than girls ...Concentrate on meaningful things in life and find answers on that

what an annoying reply

Edited by chini13, 30 October 2010 - 08:01 AM.

[Vistz]

joewest, on 30 October 2010 - 04:03 AM, said:

Generally, I’m a good person, at least beyond average. I’m neither an introvert nor an extrovert; just in the middle of the two. Now, I have resolved to take the bull by the horn, I mean to break those fears and get a taste of girls.

You mention that talking to girls is not an issue. Having a girlfriend would mean you are comfortable around girls. You should try talking to one of your friends (who is a girl). Maybe ask her if she wants to see a movie or something. Just as friends though. Or if you can't do this, try asking her and go with a group of friends.

joewest, on 30 October 2010 - 04:03 AM, said:

I'm a college student who has lots of admirations for girls, especially beautiful ones. This is my second semester in this college. I have decided to take my time, study my new environment, and pay more attention to my studies during my first semester.

You claim that you have admiration for girls and, I quote, "especially beautiful ones". Why? What have they done that the "non-beautiful" girls have not done? When you talk to a girl, it doesn't have to be for the sole purpose of trying to get her to be your girlfriend. Be social. And there generally is no "trick" to getting a girlfriend.

joewest, on 30 October 2010 - 04:03 AM, said:

My target is to get at least 10 different phone numbers before the end of next week. Don’t worry, I’m not going to be a Casanova; I will just choose the best out of the ten.

Getting someone's phone number does not mean you know them. You'll probably have to go on a date or two, and that's a whole other topic. What is getting 10 phone numbers going to accomplish? You said that your purpose was to get a girlfriend. Perhaps I should clarify: are you looking for a long term girlfriend or just someone to have fun with. Because if you're looking for a long term girlfriend, getting 10 phone numbers and putting all of them through a screening process isn't going to work. Let's say somehow you decide Girl 3 is the girl for you. What if Girl 3 finds out that you're also dating Girl 9? Then what?

[TracieSylvie]

This reminds me of a previous topic I just so happened to have stumbled upon.
Here's to share my knowledge that I have gained from skimming through from the long, but full with wisdom, post.

INNER PRESENCE.
+ Don't go overboard. What do I mean by that? BE HUMBLE. BE YOURSELF. LOVE YOURSELF. BE COMPLETE TO ATTRACT YOUR OTHER PIECE, WITHOUT BEING A HALVE.

+ Be humble. Everyone has their own unique characteristics that differentiate you from another person, for say compared to an alien from another country (or planet, lol.) or a neighbor across the street. Of course, if what makes you different makes you feel or makes you seen as superior, perhaps learning to feel grateful for such characteristics help tone down what makes you so unique. (in other words, make the person that will be drawn to you RIP YOUR EXTERIOR to take a close look into your interior. Interior is your personality, while your exterior is the wall you create possibly and also your own personal zone if that makes sense)

+ Be Yourself. Girls love it. Trust me, I'm one...

+ Love Yourself: so you can attract Genuine Love. I've seen many people who think they are really treating themselves well by pampering themselves, etc to improve their appearance in hopes to attract that special someone. NO! This is not the right thing to do! By loving yourself, you are treating yourself to unconditional love from the one and only YOU. By pampering yourself, it's called "self-pamper", which is a good thing after a long hard day/week at work.

+ First, YOU have to be complete. Similar to the subtopic above, you must be complete. In order to attract your special mate, you have to be complete. You ARE COMPLETE. You are not one half a person (a halve). You don't NEED someone. You only need yourself (you are whole). The rest will come to you. Remember the phrase best things come to those who wait? Well follow that rule, and the best thing WILL come to you, soon. It may be later, and by that I mean WAAAAAY later. But like the meaning says, the wait will be WORTH IT.

[sheepdog]

Wow guy, you really had me going there for awhile, you sounded so sensible and mature and ready to improve your life and evolve, and be a decent human being, and then you just blew it out of the water with that garbage about setting a goal of getting 10 phone numbers. This ain't no game! What would be the purpose of 10 all at once right out of the gate? Wouldn't forcing yourself on that many people be counter productive to your actual goal of getting past your initial fear of starting up a new friendship/relation? If you are making it a game and really pushing yourself to reach and arbitrary goal, you won't be YOURSELF. Your actions and words will be forced, and most people can see right threw a fake, you will be setting yourself up for failure. People aren't going to get to see the REAL you, and that would be a shame, because otherwise, you sound like a really decent person.

[mandla]

how long has it been since this post and have even managed to over come the fear in the last 14 days?? The problem I am seeing is not your appearance but in your prurpose. We all mature at different times and I think you are doing this all wrong why do you wanna get a target of 10 girls. Is this a bet with friends were you have to beat the target or loose a tenner. You need to ease up the pressure by trying to overcome a fear that everyone has. We are all afraid of rejection but sometimes we are more afraid of our intentions compared to our fear of rejection. You have girls in your class are you scared to talk to them NO. why because your intentions are good and you have a clear conscience when you talking to them.

But with these target ten girls you are trying to get, you have a guilty conscience cause you dont see them as girls who are peopl and can be easily spoken to but as future conquests and automatically that is adding a tense pressure that make you panic because things may not go your way. Why dont you concentrate on being friends with just a couple girls and you can meet their friends and they become your friends to that way you dont just get 10 phone numbers like the guys in Jersey Shore but you get meaningful friendships which even if you managed to score with any of them at least you got to know them first.

I know you in college and life in College is all crazy well theres an upside to having general femal friends, they normally will have a host of other female frineds who will fancy the pants off you and you will get more cookies by being a good friend than a horny stranger. Basically I know you got ragin hormones and probably that is what is making you feel under pressure but short term goal oriented freindships dont last. If you strike up a good friend with say Keisha and Sammy, there is a high chance they will soon introduce you to Ramona, Libbie, Tara, Sue, Gloria, Alice, Becky, Katie and Cathhrine and Paris at the next party and with drinks flowing and alcohol talking you all being college students then you stand a higher chance of having a connection with one of the girls and getting lucky. But if KEisha and Sammy think you just want their numbers because you a jerk then I can guarantee when you meet them at the next party not only will they avoid you but they will bad mouth and b*tch about you to amona, Libbie, Tara, Sue, Gloria, Alice, Becky, Katie and Cathhrine and Paris and you aint getting anywhere near them even with a ten foot pole cause your name will be on the JERK list.

Get my drift.

Edited by mandla, 12 November 2010 - 05:52 AM.

[mandla]

hey dude, anyluck getting those ten numbers yet or have the girls seen through you plan and kicked you to the curb.