1 reply to this topic

[Roby]

So let me start from the begining, i know this girl for around 2 years now and we are like best friends, we hang out together all the time. She had a boyfriend back at her hometown , with whom she broke up around 3 weeks back, she also had a lottt of fights and broke up 3-4 times in these 2 years but got back together, but this time she ended it. she told me about those breakups but not this one! (i came to know from her facebook activities like status etc. and i know her well so i can guess it out pretty well). they have been together for say 4 years now.
this is all about her now me, i liked her since the day i met her, in a week or 2 i came to know she had a boyfriend and i felt bad
but then i wanted to wait for her, i did so and kept it all inside me, since then my love for her has just grown like anything, now that i know she's single i want to go upto her and say it to her. but many problems
1) is she over her breakup by now?
2) will our friendship end if she says no?
3) if i go and say i love you and she says but you know i am in a relationship then what do i say/do? even when she is not

plz help me guys and girls

Edited by Roby, 21 November 2010 - 03:51 PM.

[mandla]

its easy to advise you and say yes go for it buddy. but the truth is i believe that your realtioship will not last. she does not see you as a man who can take her clothes off and pleasure her in an intimate way but more as a brother or friend. You have been friends with her for 2 years you say and surely by now if she was totally attracted to you she'd have told you of that she was single by now. Actually while this may sound immoral and wrong i think during those breakup times you would have at least kissed passionately. You have in the past been given hints thats im single though its temporary i hve no boyfried right now and im 'available' but you were just like a gay friend who doesnt want to take advantage of her when she is vlnerable you actually acted like a girl freind understanding her situation and being all nice to her and helping her through the problems she was going through.

She stopped seeing you as a predator who wants her sexually which is how a guy would want a girl he has feelings for. THis does not mean you have to only want sex it means the attraction should be a sexual kind not a family or brotherly kind. Where you care as family or as best friends. You should not see her as a girl but as a girl with boobs, an *bottom* hips nice legs and what you wanna do with her. I assume this is how you see her since you say you are attracted to her but the question is does she see you as a guy who can hold her in his arms touch her and kiss and lick her all over and make her feel naughty. If she sees you as a guy who can protect her when trouble comes and can hang out with and chill with but with out the sexual attraction then you've boobed mate. You should make sure she knows where you stand and most of all dont ever cross that line of being too friendly because that will just mess up your chances of ever getting with her.

Now in terms of what you should do. Just ask point blank but ask in a non tense non confrontational manner as in hey cindy you changed you fb status ... naughty naughty. now all the guys are going to be hitting on you and be disappointed when they find out you in a long distance relationship for 4 years. you know something simple simingly pasive and yet asks the question so she answers without even realising the question has been answered for example she may respond. heheh Im single now so its cool. You ask hheheh what about dave (or whtever boyfrinds name is) she be like he's history now. And you be like yeah right. I've known you long enough to know its temporary when you all break up and she be like no for real its over this time I aint going back. You have your answer now chance subject so she dont realise shes answered all the questions and say ask her whats up for the weekend. Dont quickly ask her out because she'll piece it together just make everything unrelated. Give a couple of days before asking her out for a drink or dinner nothing formal. She shouldnt suddemly see a change in you cause she will have ringing bells all around, you wanna slowly turn the friendship into a a possible relationship.

Go out for the usual freinship dates but amid the jokes and laughter just make those little personal connections eg brushing her hand or fixing her hair from her face but also continue the normal type of conversation be it jokes and gossip. You want her to think that it would be a good idea to have you for a boyfriend cause you so cool. Slowly make her think its her idea not like you taking advantage of that shes single cause that will only make her say I need to be single for a while. You wanna be the friend thats there but constatnly be the boyfrind she wants without being full on. Trust me soon she will be the one coming on her saying i've had a friend and he's everythign I want in a boyfriend, I have been friends for 2 years and i dont knwo how to tell him i have developed feelings for him lol.