3 replies to this topic

[Hurt4love]

Well I do wanna share this experience today because it is the aniversary of that day. I feel emotional and sad tonight remembering what happened over 10 years ago.

When I was 16 I was popular in high school. I had my own group of friends and we would always have fun. That year a new girl had just moved to our city. I am not kidding when I say she was a copy of me. She looked exactly like me but she was sort of an introvert. I remember she was different. She was not a loner or anything but she did not like company. I sensed though that she was a sweet girl and despite the rumors about this girl and how different she was in terms of her lifestyle and views, one of my favorite moments was in the morning when I would see her by her locker and she would smile to me. I always smiled at her to make her feel like she could trust me. One day I saw her leaving the class crying. She stopped and looked at me then when I smiled at her she smiled back even though she was crying. The next day she finally said to me I hope you have a great weekend! I was happy that she finally had some trust in me. On December 18th, 1997 my group of friends started talking about her. I realized through their conversation that they made fun of her in class the previous day and they made her cry. I yelled at them. I had a huge fight with them and told them I did not want to talk to them anymore. I looked for her address and finally went to her house to appologize to her.

Her dad opened the door and told me, she passed away the previous day. She was with someone who drove after getting drunk and had a car accident. The young guy went to prison and she died. He told me he picked her up from school. I realized then that the last thing this girl saw before she died was my smile. I lived with a strange feeling of guilt for a long time. I know I was not my friends and I know I tried to be someone she could trust but perhaps I felt guilty for not appologizing to her sooner. Maybe it is for not earning her trust sooner. I don't know why but ever since that happened everyone felt guilty. They felt guilty to a point where they started calling me by her name in her memory because she looked like me.

The point is this girl was different. She was unique and for that the world did not spare her. Now that she is dead I learned that smiling could mean the world to someone. Even on the phone make it a habit to smile because you never know what happens next, whose day you are going ot brighten with your smile, or better yet whose life you are going to change with your smile.

Edited by Hurt4love, 18 December 2010 - 06:35 AM.

[sheepdog]

How terribly sad! But you should not feel guilty, at least you made her smile and let her know you did care about her. You were friendly with her and kind. Unlike your assinine friends who obviously were mean and hurtfull to her. If anyone should feel bad, it's them. Of course, if they are that mean spirited they probably don't care about her death anyway. You are probably ahead of the game by realizing what kind of "friends" they actually are and getting away from them, as the saying goes, with friends like that who needs enemys?

[Mich]

What a touching story. The smiling face she saw from you is with her forever. Feel no quilt, you gave her a parting gift.

[ritu]

You are right in saying that a smile can mean the world to someone, the spell that a smile can cast has an irresistible healing effect. You know should be proud that you were the sole trusted fellow of that girl,didn't her smile imply that?? Get over this guilt, you made the efforts you could. Besides that, agreeing with Sheepdog,there can't be a better idea to stay away from your unsparing friends, it would prove to be a savior.