I have to admit my love for my ex turned into hate for a while. I let my feelings surface and I allowed myself to hate him. But it was not destroying him, it was destroying me. I let go of that hate recently because of what it was doing to me. Now I decided to forgive him and decided to let go of my hatred. Sure I don't like him but I don't hate him. I feel sorry for him because he did not know any better and because he will live his life making the same mistakes over and over again. I know what it feels like to be lied to and betrayed.
I try to continue making the decisions that are going to help me become a better person. You need to do that. You need to try and understand things about yourself and you need to be there for yourself. I can't tell you it is easy to trust again. I still have trust issues. But I try and it is so hard. Trust is not something you can just decides. But it is deeply rooted inside you and I tell you it is not easy at all when people that you used to trust betray you. we all make mistakes but trust issues and trusting people again is the most difficult thing ever. But the only way is if you trust yourself. That is the only way to build trust again. Trust yourself and try to never give up. Try to build it slowly and continue to do things for yourself so you can save your own soul. Alot of things happened to you in that relationship and you need to mend the pieces inside you so take your time but always look inside you and understand yourself. That is the only way you can build up what was broken.
And no my dear he is not coming back. Don't try to think about it at all right now. Just take a breather and treat yourself. Do things that you wanted to do for a long time. Make new friends. Go out and explore the world. Do the things you put on hold before you met him. Start pampering yourself because you are priortiy. You deserve the best and you need to look after yourself.
Edited by Hurt4love, 13 March 2011 - 11:46 PM.













