5 replies to this topic

[web_designer]

hi everyone,

for those who knows me or who not, i've been living in middle east for whole my life and came to USA just a few months ago. and things here are really not like we thought in middle east, "NOT LIKE MOVIES YOU KNOW ". any way, i decided to begin writing about my experience here, MY OWN EXPERIENCE and talking about myself and how i found things here. and please be sure it is my own point of view, and i am just talking on myself and not trying to insult anyone of anything.

so first i will talk today about SMILES

this is the most beautiful thing i found it here and really enjoy it. everyone or at least most of the people i met here are smiling to each other, even when they don't know each other. or even saying "hi, how are you doing?" when we face them anywhere when i am in the mall, or walking in the street or in any place you can imagine. and this is really a beautiful thing that unfortunately we don't have in middle east. for some reason, smiling to strangers in middle east considering as a bizarre behavior or even weird or unexpected and most of the times it leads to troubles. whereas, it is a true nice and relieving thing, and it is not costing you anything. maybe this simple ting may change a person's life or add something to his/her day, may does something more than you can imagine. i don't know about others, but about me, it is refreshing to wake up early in the morning and find someone who smiles or says hi to me when we are just strangers. it is like coloring my day with a new color with every smile so what do you think??

[anwiii]

strange you say that since you live in california now. not a lot of people in california go out of their way to act like that......but you're right.....they still do on some level.

as you know, i used to live in california almost my whole life. when i moved to missouri 6 years ago, i noticed that people not only smile and willing to say hi, they will wave at you as you or they drive by. i was sorta confused by this behavior because the first time it happened, i was trying to figure out where i knew the person from. only an idiot would wave at ya if he/she didn't know ya

when i go back home for visits, i would be lucky to pass by someone who wasn't too busy to lift their head up while they walk past me. los angeles though(where i was raised) is a lot different than most parts of of the state including the outskirts of san diego.

middle easterners are secretive i have found and sometimes even a little shady in my opinion. i realized that when i was in school and some of my better friends were from other parts of the world. some types of people just like to keep to themselves or their own cultures and they don't feel comfortable smiling or talking to a stranger. i was lucky enough to befriend a few people around the world and be considered a part of their family to know certain traditions and cultures.

as you know i am learning more about religious and cultural laws. although you are still keeping your religious beliefs in tact, you aren't bound be the cultural laws anymore which make it harder for women in the middle east to even communicate to a stranger. i knew that this would be something you would enjoy when coming to the u.s. or even other parts of the world.

there are still a lot of things to get used to though. the thing i am tired of seeing in some parts of the country is the prejudice, or the division between cultures here. i would like to see a compromise between different cultures where it would be easier to mingle and share cultures. i know for me growing up and meeting friends who were from different parts of the world, it helped me to understand people better and make me more well rounded

[Indego_Media]

Morning All,

Web_designer i'm curious to know if it was strange at first when you started to go out and smile at people when you first arrived in the US? for me a smile from a stranger is a wonderful thing, but in my culture there is a smile from a stranger, then there is also a "SMILE" and that look from a stranger that is cruising you or that thinks your hot.....

either smile makes my day, but that passing glance and knowing smile of someone giving you the ego boost of a cruising / thinks your hot smile is just a truely inspiring thing......

You know when i was growing up, i grew up in a small rural town with a very heavy european / ethnic community. I myself am an anglosaxin gay boy so growing up in a town full of religious catholic greeks and italians was interesting, for the whole of my youth, even though i was picked on for my sexuality, the european culture didn't seem to care that much and many of my friends (mainly girls) were italian or greek, I suppose that's where i got my love for good food. Anyway throughout my entire youth the ethnic community seemed much more like home to me then the white of the town, even though i was one. I think there is a lot to be said about the way things were, I was a gay man in a rural farming town and everyone knew it, some didn't like me and i'm sure they talked about me behind my back, but you know what i always felt protected by the same people, they gave me respect for hard work, they allowed me to be apart of thier community, Maybe it was the token gay thing I don't know but back then people were pleasent and warm regardless of who you were, These days I live about an hour away from where I grew up and the world is a completely different place, its no longer illeagal for me to be Gay, I can be proud of that change to common law, People still talk behind my back, but these days I don't feel safe in my community, the friendly smile you talked about is still there but there is a lack of trust behind the smile that we seem to give and get these days. I don't know maybe its because we are all so connected and aware of the greater world community around us that we are constantly in fear of the next big catastrophy? or maybe its just that we are not sure if its just plain safe anymore to be friendly with out caution.

I think the smile is one of the nicest things that we can give and get for free and it really does touch us in a very special way. I just wish that with the age old decency of a smile came some of the pasts more sensible ethical notions, like trust and kindness.

Oh well one can dream.

[web_designer]

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strange you say that since you live in california now. not a lot of people in california go out of their way to act like that......but you're right.....they still do on some level.

well the level i saw till now is very enough for me you know . and here i am not talking about EVERYONE but the majority in CA. and this is really something i like about the people here, they are sometimes stop and say some nice words to me and to my baby girls, saying how cute they are or asking me about their names and we find living in here. even a nice mom gave me some good brands name for baby curly hair . and usually i don't see such reaction from people in middle east.

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as you know, i used to live in california almost my whole life. when i moved to missouri 6 years ago, i noticed that people not only smile and willing to say hi, they will wave at you as you or they drive by. i was sorta confused by this behavior because the first time it happened, i was trying to figure out where i knew the person from. only an idiot would wave at ya if he/she didn't know ya

this is so funny, and no no one waved to me till now so maybe they found you so interesting that they wanted to talk to you even if they looked like idiots hahaaa.

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when i go back home for visits, i would be lucky to pass by someone who wasn't too busy to lift their head up while they walk past me.

no never think of that even for a second, i know those people will talk to you if they can and if they couldn't then they will tell you that directly but they will never ignore you. this is so rude you know .

and yeah anwiii, in middle east we are secretive people, not talking or SMILE to strangers, never show our feelings and opinions in public. and we do that sometimes by habit and sometimes for a good reason. and about the prejudice yeah i saw and faced some personally. and i know i will be face to face with such people in the future. so this is another thing to fight for.

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Web_designer i'm curious to know if it was strange at first when you started to go out and smile at people when you first arrived in the US?

ME!! noooo you misunderstood me here Indego_Media, i never ever smile to a stranger this is something i used to do and to be more specific to a man. since the traditions i raised up in middle east will see things from a different point of you. however, here i can reply a smile with another one but never start a one.

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I think the smile is one of the nicest things that we can give and get for free and it really does touch us in a very special way. I just wish that with the age old decency of a smile came some of the pasts more sensible ethical notions, like trust and kindness.

Oh well one can dream.

and here i agree with you fully, and as you said it is very important thing to get used to it and share it with others. and yeah i will dream your dream too so good luck for us to make dreams come true .

[sheepdog]

Hey Web designer, I didn't realize you were in the states now, last I knew you were in Turkey or some such place. Granted, I have been pretty preoccupied with the goats and spring planting stuff, haven't been able to keep up with everything going on here. Glad to have you here, who knows, maybe some day you'll be passing threw Missouri and can get some work in on that fear of dogs you have, lol.

I'm glad you are enjoying the smile thing. Also glad you got here before people stopped doing it here too. I really think it's dying out in this country too. I remember when I was a kid growing up close to 1/2 of the people you met when you were just driving down the road would wave at you too. (and no, I don't mean the single finger salute either) I still try to keep a smile on my face. I remember hearing a saying about how you should smile, because it makes people wonder what you are up to.

I'm glad you brought this subject up, and I'm glad to know the habit is not going the way of the dinosaurs just yet. It's a nice habit to have. And yes, I talk to complete strangers when waiting in check out lines too. Great way to pass the time, and you never know when just a few kind words or courtesy can really lift up another persons spirit.

So.....keep smiling!

[web_designer]

sheepdog, on 22 May 2011 - 11:24 PM, said:

Hey Web designer, I didn't realize you were in the states now, last I knew you were in Turkey or some such place. Granted, I have been pretty preoccupied with the goats and spring planting stuff, haven't been able to keep up with everything going on here. Glad to have you here, who knows, maybe some day you'll be passing threw Missouri and can get some work in on that fear of dogs you have, lol.

I'm glad you are enjoying the smile thing. Also glad you got here before people stopped doing it here too. I really think it's dying out in this country too. I remember when I was a kid growing up close to 1/2 of the people you met when you were just driving down the road would wave at you too. (and no, I don't mean the single finger salute either) I still try to keep a smile on my face. I remember hearing a saying about how you should smile, because it makes people wonder what you are up to.

I'm glad you brought this subject up, and I'm glad to know the habit is not going the way of the dinosaurs just yet. It's a nice habit to have. And yes, I talk to complete strangers when waiting in check out lines too. Great way to pass the time, and you never know when just a few kind words or courtesy can really lift up another persons spirit.

So.....keep smiling!

oh thanks dear sheepdog, thanks for the warm welcome. i know now you are one of those people who like to smile and sharing others sweet talking . and as you said it is totally a great habit that i hope it will never die, because smiling could gives something for us and others as well.

and yeah i will be sure to keep on smiling but not for everyone of course some are really look weird you know. and i hope many will do the same for me too.